Now Hiring

The sign read, “HELP WANTED”. Okay! I needed a job; I was one step away from being evicted from my apartment. I walked into the shop, grabbing the sign from the window. No one was about as I scanned the interior of the cluttered shop. As I made my way to the counter, a large brass bell drew my attention. It was supported by a brass frame, complete with an attached rubberized hammer. There was a plaque next to the bell stating that customers should strike the bell only once for service. Determined to find the person in charge, I clutched the hammer and gave the bell a sharp whack. It peeled with the sound of a church steeple bell. I cringed at the sound, putting my hands around it to dampen the noise. Why did I strike the bell so hard? I checked the bell for damage and rubbed it with my shirt sleeve to remove the small scuff mark. I took three steps backwards and felt someone behind me. I turned and almost screamed. A tall handsome hulk of a man stood there glaring at me. It was the proprietor who had heard that eardrum shattering clang of the bell.

“Well, I see you can at least read the sign. What were you trying to do?Summon the beasts of hell?”

Chagrined, I made my apologies explaining my reason for entering his establishment. “I’m terribly sorry for striking the bell so hard. I assumed the bell would be muffled by the counter top and it needed a thorough thwack to reach the back of your shop.”

“I am not sure you fit the bill as far as employment goes, I prefer someone with a bit of backbone that you seem to be lacking from the way you jumped when you backed into me. But I will give you a trial run at it and see what happens. "

I couldn’t believe my luck. Just like that I had gainful employment and he offered a week’s pay up front.

Thanking him I grasped his hand and asked when he wanted me to start. He reached over the counter and pulled forth a feather duster and said, “Now is as good a time as any.”

I assumed as he walked back to wherever he had been before I entered that I was to use the duster for its intended purpose. The shop was a curious conglomeration of antiquities and junk. I dusted each piece carefully afraid of inadvertently losing my job with carelessness.

“PUT THAT DOWN!”

Startled, the item slipped from one hand as I fumbled to get a grip. Snagging the corner of the object, I managed to save it. I regained my composure and placed the item back on the shelf.

“I’m terribly sorry, I thought you wanted me to clean.” Frowning and holding up the feather duster.

“You can dust without putting your paws on my collection. Some of these pieces are so fragile that the oil from your hands could mar their surfaces. That is why I gave you a feather duster!” He turned on his heal and disappeared once again.

Thinking that maybe I had not made a great first impression by hitting the bell with all my might, I tried to complete the dusting without touching another one of his curiosities.

The man’s attitude was wearing me down. Three more times he accosted me for endangering his collection. Three more times I jumped when he snuck up behind me.

Accustomed to his spy tactics by the fourth time, I rounded on him and shook the feather duster in his face. “You, sir, are a bully. I will not tolerate such behavior. This isn’t what I signed up for. Now leave me to my dusting, or I quit.”

He howled with laughter, “There you are. I was afraid I would never meet the real person behind that mousy persona.”

He was clapped his hands and took the duster from my shaking hands. “You took longer than I thought. It was all a test. No need to look at me that way. You’re hired.”

He rambled on about what my duties were to be. The longer he rambled the more relaxed I became. Finally winding down, I asked him why.

“Why did I torture you? Why, that should be obvious. You are beautiful and the way you jumped when you rang the bell? It was so endearing to me. The bell is always that loud, by the way. I put the sign up to keep people from deafening me.” Catching his breath, he continued. “I had to find out who you really were under all that shyness. I was mesmerized. I knew there was a wildcat in there. I just had to set it free. Can you forgive a lonely man for falling in love?”

I hesitated, the man had been a bully from the moment I arrived. There had been nothing to indicate that he was anything but a mean and gruff person used to getting his way.

“I’m not sure that will be possible under the circumstances. If you had been decent from the first I may have felt differently.” I said, backing away from him. The man was obviously deranged to think his tactics would attract a woman.

The man knelt down and begged me for another chance as I back further away. I turned to leave and felt his breath on my neck. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back. I twisted and kicked and swung with all my might. Tripping him with my legs he staggered back and fell into the counter. The bell clanged and I ran.

Sitting at my kitchen table, reading the want ads, I saw it.

“I apologize to the bell lady. I had only hoped to get to know you. My awkward behavior was unbecoming and I seek your forgiveness. Please come back.”

I thought about it for quite awhile as I sipped my coffee. I’ll let him stew for a couple of weeks then I will go back. I still needed the job. The money he gave me when he hired me, is running out.