A Horrible Crime

A dirty word.

A terrible word.

A word so terrible that our leaders, elected by He Himself, made even saying it let alone doing such a crime to fall into that it became punishable by death.

Like intercourse for just pleasure.

I knew I could never fall into that word, that most horrible thing.

I was a good citizen.

An upstanding citizen.

I reported such things to the authorities; the Department, where I would find myself working one day, a director even, a high position.

My father had been a drone so it was quite an honor to be promoted to such a high status.

Mother and father had been the last of their kind unfortunately it had been discovered.

They were hold overs from the antiquated times, before the horrible unforgivable word had been banned from even being uttered from corrupted lips let alone in practice.

They were criminals that had to be reported for their crime; for being in that condition deemed inexcusable by society, a crime against the most beloved state.

I reported them immediately upon discovering them uttering that terrible word to each other as father left for work one day; in plain sight of myself and my siblings.

Terrible indeed.

Shocking really.

Marriage for the betterment of the state through reproduction of productive citizens was tolerated as long as that horrible word, that terrible word was not involved.

Marriage had been renamed to a contract of mutual betterment of society as the term 'marriage' itself was deemed an antiquated concept; an idea based on that most horrible word, an idea that two people could fall into such a terrible sickness and believe it was a good thing that they would end up promising such behavior until death do they part.

I shuddered at the thought.

I could not see myself doing such a thing.

It was a cold April day, a Tuesday, as I came to work; pleasantries to the fellows; hellos, good mornings, the usual fluff, made the drones happy that their director acknowledged their existence, hope induced that maybe someday they too would be promoted.

I made sure to keep the drones happy.

A happy drone is a productive drone.

Work on drones; make society better.

I had emails waiting; drudgery mostly, nothing a quick back reply to wouldn't solve.

Drone riots in other sectors.

Food shortages and power outages for weeks had bothered them.

That couldn't be good; had to keep an eye on mine, didn't want any uprisings slowing down the required directives getting sent out, a terrible thing indeed.

Executions were in plan for the leaders; a good way to settle such grievous rebellions.

Terminations of life duties.

More updates to follow later; names of those leaders and their kind.

I settled back in my chair; it felt good being a productive citizen.

Later, I clocked out; many issues resolved; a good day indeed.

I walked to my little apartment not thar far away.

Cars were a luxury.

Even the highest ranks in society could afford them even without the fuel shortages and direct outages that plagued the system.

Most lived in close proximity of their work; the ability to walk to wherever was a big concern when planning your housing and life style.

My neighbor, Vicki, was outside.

She smiled at me.

"Hello citizen!" she said, waving.

I waved back.

She was pretty.

"Hello citizen!" I replied back.

"Good day at the Department?" she asked, sitting down on a chair.

I nodded.

"A good day indeed!"

She worked for media production; a drone, though looked at to being promoted to director very soon, known even in my sector of citizen affairs.

Some say she could even make vice-president, a high honor indeed.

I couldn't be considered for such a promotion as my parents had been marked as criminals; a dark mark on my record. Even my children's children would not be considered as the mark of the unspeakable crime would taint them as well.

She patted the spot nearest her.

"Come, sit, it has been too long since we have spoken. What affairs go on in your sector?"

I sat but not too close.

I did not want snooping eyes to assume we were participating into some kind of courtship ritual; such things were not only frowned upon but could be considered a crime; not as unforgivable as uttering that most horrible word but close enough to receive thirty lashes in the square if found to be of such a partaking.

She smiled as she looked at me.

"Nothing too pressing; drone riots in sector A. Terrible stuff, production down by a percent."

She frowned.

"Those poor people..."

She stopped herself and smiled again.

"Nothing as dramatic in production; same thing as always, producing the masses' entertainment; we made some web series; frightful stuff..." she laughed but stopped as she noticed my serious look. "I'm sorry, I forget myself somedays. I guess I should be dronish, eyes down, watching my words as not to offend."

She laughed again.

I smiled.

"It's okay. I have heard you could be promoted soon. Director."

She nodded, sadly sighing.

"I should be happy but..."

She stopped herself again and smiled.

"Yes, a great honor! I guess I have taken up enough of your time citizen, we shall maybe speak again in a more sociable setting?"

I smiled.

"Yes citizen I would find that acceptable, maybe a movie and dinner. That would be greatly acceptable. This Friday maybe?" I said as I stood.

She nodded, smiling in my direction.

I headed into my apartment, smiling, my heart beating a bit faster than it should.

What was this feeling?

Was I sick?

I would have to see the doctor soon.

Friday came as it always does.

I barely remembered my work day; drones, more riots, they were expanding, leaders' names, contacts, horrible stuff.

I could only think of Vicki and our meeting later.

Again, as I thought of her; her face, her smile, the way she smelled; lilacs, my heart, that same feeling from earlier in the week.

It was strange.

I had been on such meetings with others before but none had made me feel this way.

Was this ...

I shook away the thought.

Impossible.

I was no criminal.

The day ended and I walked home to see Vicki, sitting at the same seat, smiling at me as I approached, she was wearing a dress, prettier than I remembered ever seeing her.

"Hello citizen!" she waved.

I waved back.

"Hello citizen! Ready for our meeting?" I laughed as I sat next to her.

She smiled, nodding.

"Yes. Are you?"

I smiled.

"I shall be in a bit, I don't want to look like I'm still at the division at some meeting!"

I laughed.

"I will be ready in a bit."

A few hours later, we were at the movies, the darkness of the theater hiding us as the screen showed the latest film.

"I helped in writing the script for this!" she whispered into my ear, her breath drifting over my skin, a shiver moving up my spine.

"It is very good." I whispered back. I felt her hand fall onto mine, holding it.

In a strange movement of my own hand, I held hers too.

After dinner, we had made it back to our apartments.

She smiled as we stood outside her door.

"Would you like to come in? I got some coffee..."

Coffee?

Such a rare treat; the only way to find it was through the black market; frowned upon to shop such places but most did, even our leaders.

We drank coffee as we sat on her couch; her hand fell on my thigh.

That same feelings hit me again.

I did not know what I should do but then she kissed me, fully on the lips, her mouth opening and in some primordial instinct I felt my mouth opening too; our tongues darting into each other's mouths.

She was soon straddling my lap, our bodies intertwining, I felt her hands unzipping my pants.

I did not stop her.

Later, after our lustful session of sex, we laid in her bed, her head on my chest, her fingers tracing patterns on my chest, I held her closely.

For weeks, we would repeat our meetings; always ending in the same lustful way.

One night, as we laid in bed, she smiled at me, a look I had seen my own mother thrown to my father.

"I love you...." she whispered so only I would hear her.

I laid there silently.

Was this love?

I did not know what to say.

I held her closely, not wanting to let her go, even though in the eyes of the state, she was a criminal and now I was one for not reporting her that very moment.

I couldn't.

I knew the feeling inside myself was wrong; a crime, but I was in love with her too, could not see myself with anyone else but her, and her alone.

I was a criminal in thought; I could be executed alongside her and I didn't care.

I was in love.

I knew it, she knew it, and we hid it from the world.

Weeks followed and I found myself at my office.

More emails, drudgery again.

One caught my attention; list of leaders of the drone uprisings that were growing.

I clicked open and my eyes scanned the list.

'Vicki...'

I stopped.

Love was now replaced by horror.

Her name leaped out; one of the direct leaders to those uprisings, the woman I had committed a crime with multiple times, that woman who I loved, was a leader of the direct enemy of the state.

I felt like crying but I couldn't as such an act would be seen as a direct admission to my own criminal actions.

I thought about warning her but before I could do anything I had the police; state agents of law and order even, standing in my office, guns drawn.

"Citizen you are found in violation of state law zero zero one zero nine; you have been found in allegiance with a traitor to the state and leaders of our great society, punishable by death."

They had evidence; film of us on meetings; me and her uttering that terrible word to each other, direct evidence of my own crimes.

I was a traitor even.

This is my confession to my crimes.

I love you Vicki, till death do us part...