Someday

“Look, dad.” Sara sighed. She held the phone under one arm while she struggled to coral the wild papers strewn across her desk into a neat pile. “Not this time, okay? Maybe this summer. I’ve got work coming out of my ears, and some major tests coming up after the break. I have to study.” Sara got the papers in order. She stuck them into the briefcase she was holding. “Law school isn’t a walk in the park, you know.”

“Sara, honey, I know you're busy.” A deep voice breathed from the phone. Sara did a quick glance around her cubicle. Every student at Rushmore Law had their own cube in the library. It was in this box that they spent grueling hours hunched over textbooks and hundreds of pages of case law. 

I am so ready for the break, Sara thought. Before leaving the library, she brushed her fingers through her unruly gold-brown hair. As she stepped out the door and into the parking lot, the brisk air splashed her face. I’ll have time to do a little pleasure reading and hang out with friends.

“I am busy, dad.” Sara grunted, patting her suit pockets as she searched for her Honda keys. The Honda was a car that Sara had had since her eighteenth birthday…

The birthday when she’d left for college. The day she’d left Silver Meadows, the home of her youth, and never looked back. Why would she? California and Rushmore’s School of Law were ten times more interesting than that small town in the backwoods of Mississippi.

They were more interesting, and they held less painful baggage than Mississippi and Silver Meadows.

“I’m busy, and I can’t make it home this Christmas... I’m sorry.” Sara found her keys and unlocked her vehicle. She slipped into the driver’s seat. Sara tossed the briefcase in the backseat. It landed atop a mountain of junk. “Hey, I’m heading back to the dorms now. It’s the first day of break, and Cami and I have plans. Tell mom I love her, and-."

“Sara,” her dad’s voice grew grave. “Listen to me; you need to come home this Christmas.”

“Dad, I-.”

“Honey, your mother..." her dad trailed off, before clearing his throat. “Your mother isn’t feeling well, and I think it would be best if you came to see her, just in case."

There go all my plans. Sara stomped off the plane. She snatched her luggage off of the baggage carousel like a child throwing a tantrum. There goes hanging with Cami. There goes reading a nice book with a cup of hot cocoa. There goes Christmas. I’ll be spending it worrying about mom, in a town that I hate, in a house that I hate...

Perfect.

Although, despite her bitter thoughts, Sara couldn’t help the whispers of worry that echoed ominously around her mind. Her dad had said that her mom was ill and that he wanted her to come home for the holidays. However, he refused to say exactly what was wrong with Sara’s mother.

What if she’s really sick? Sara swallowed. She stepped outside the airport doors and waved down a taxi. What if, all this time, she’s been ill, and I’ve been brushing them off? Sara shifted uncomfortably in the taxi’s hard seats. It wasn’t their fault what Jed did. Heck, it wasn’t exactly my ex’s fault. So why do I blame them all, like it was? 

Sara had called a car rental near Silver Meadows before she’d even gotten on the plane. They had a car ready to go for her when the taxi dropped her off there. It was a base model Toyota Corolla that had seen better days. 

It was the cheapest car they had. So, Sara took it. Right away, she noticed the car’s engine grumbling like a grumpy old man. She tried to ignore it, focusing instead on the growing familiarity of the woodland around her. The trees were coated in layers of ice, which glistened over their branches like crystals. The sky was the same color as the water that brushed against the shores of Cali’s beaches.

Sara turned off the main road and onto a gravel backroad. That seemed to be the final straw for the old Toyota. With a groan and snap, a few miles from her parents house, the car sagged forward and ceased to move.

“Oh, no, no!” Sara groaned, smacking her head against the steering wheel. “Not now! Oh, come on.”

She tried the gas. The car sputtered, smoke rising from the engine. Sara, with a groan of her own, stepped out of the vehicle. She made her way to the front of the car and popped the hood.

Dad always made this look easy, Sara realized, staring with a blank expression at the mess of cables before her. Which thing-a-m-bob does which? What should I do?

“You look more lost than a calf, trying to climb out of a ditch with two backward hooves.”

Sara jumped. She glanced over her shoulder. Instantly, her stomach dropped. A man stood behind her. A young man with hazel eyes and straw-blond hair. He was wearing a brown leather jacket, cowboy boots, and jeans.

He looked the same as he had at eighteen.

“I…” Sara’s mouth went dry. She wet her lips and tried again. But words wouldn’t come out.

She could feel cold, biting, water against her skin. She could hear herself screaming out as that same merciless liquid filled her lungs and pushed at the back of her eyes.

“It’s not funny!” She remembered saying, as she tried to take an amber bottle from a boy. A boy who stood on the edge of the river. “It’s not funny at all! Give me that! All of you are being dumb!"

“Who’s bein’ dumb?" One boy, who stood next to the one she was speaking to, sneered. He had black eyes—the devil’s eyes. “We is just having a little fun, right, Cas?”

"Yeah, yeah, we are.” The boy, the one who’s drink Sara continued to desperately snatch at, agreed. He pulled the drink from her grasping hands. “Don’t be such a mother.”

“I’m not! But this is foolish. If you get caught-.” Sara glared at him, her eyes wet with tears of worry and frustration. Cas looked away, shame coloring his ears.

He didn’t want to be there. He was just there because the guys had invited him, and because he didn’t want to be at home with his father.

“Come on, Cas.” Sara urged, her voice soft as cotton. She grabbed his hand, his warm fingers slipping into hers. “Let’s go back to my place. You can sleep it off there.”

“Oh, go suck an egg, you whiny little snitch!” The boy with the devil’s eyes reached out, shoving her. Sara felt the ground slip from under her. She tumbled off the river’s bank and into the wild water below.

“Sara!” She heard Cas yell. “Sara!”

“Sara? Uh… Are you okay?"

Sara shook her head clear. She blinked at the young man before her.

“Yeah, um, Cas... How are you? It’s been a long time.” She murmured, trying to get her heart rate to return to normal. Cas shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.

“It has.” He agreed. The young man squinted at the ground for a moment before jerking his head towards her car. “Need a hand?”

Sara, meanwhile, spotted the truck parked a few paces from them. She glared at it. How did I not hear him coming? I forgot he lives on this road too...Rats.

“It’s a rental.” Sara told him, though she couldn’t quite make eye contact. “It sucks.”

Cas laughed—a forced laugh.

“Don’t they all? Let me see if I can get it going for you."

Sara was half-tempted to refuse, but Cas didn’t give her the chance. He put his hands on either side of the open hood and peered inside. Sara relaxed.

She remembered that Cas had a knack for fixing things. She knew he could get the car started, so at least she would make it to her parents without having to call a tow.

Cas fixed the car faster than Sara thought was possible. When he was done, he stood by the hood, licking his lips thoughtfully.

“Are you stayin’ in town long?” He asked. Sara stiffened at the hope in his voice.

“No.” She said, bluntly. “Just to check on my mother. A few days, at most.”

Cas’s shoulders sagged in disappointment. Then, he furrowed his brow.

“Your mother?” He echoed. “What’s wrong with her?"

Figures, Sara’s shock was slowly being overcome by the raw bitterness that had been her friend during the first few months after Cas’s eighteenth birthday—the day his no-good friend had pushed her into the river. Like he’d keep up with an ex’s family.

“She’s sick.” Sara said. She opened the car door and slipped into the driver’s seat. She rolled down the window to add. “Thanks for your help. I take it your still living around here."

“She’s sick…” Cas looked beyond puzzled. However, he just shrugged and shook his head. “Uh, yeah. My old man’s place. He passed on a few months ago, and I inherited the cattle ranch. He had so many unpaid debts that I had to sell most of the land and the animals, but I managed to keep the lot the house sits on. I’m right up the road from your parents, if-.”

“I remember. Thanks for the help. You have a good night.” Sara said, as formally as she could without sounding rude. 

Cas winced, like she’d hit him. “Yeah, Sara… you too, hey, maybe we could-.”

Sara pretended not to hear him. She started off down the road, towards her parents house.

Sara pulled into the dirt driveway of her childhood home. She blinked in awe as she spotted her mother putting up clothes to dry on the clothes line.

“Mom?” Sara asked, getting out of the car. Her mother turned to her, a gasp escaping her.

“Sara! Sara, honey!” The woman rushed to greet her. Sara opened her arms to her mother, and the short woman buried herself in them.

“Oh, my baby! My sweet baby, you finally came home!”

“I…” Sara pulled away. She tried to ignore the lingering feeling of safety that her mother’s smell, a scent of flowers and dough, left her with. “You look... good?"

Her mother was just as puzzled as she was.

“Of course!” She said, "Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because dad told me..." Sara trailed off. The front door to her old home opened. A skinny man with brown hair and a stiff mustache, dressed in a plaid red shirt and jeans, walked out of the house. He smiled when he spotted Sara.

“Sara,” he greeted, opening his arms up invitingly. “It’s good to see you! We-.”

Something in Sara’s head clicked. A raw fury exploded inside of her. She didn’t move to hug her father.

“She’s not sick, is she?” Sara nodded to her mother. “She never was. You made that up.”

“W-what?” Sara’s mom looked back and forth between her daughter and her husband, her eyes wide with confusion. Sara felt sorry for her.

But she couldn’t stop the anger she felt over her father’s lie.

“She had a cough for a few days. She was still recovering when I called you!” Sara’s father grunted. He straightened up. “I had to do something! You wouldn’t come to see us! I missed my little girl, and you would never come to visit!"

“So, you lie and tell me my mom’s ill? That she’s… dying?” Sara spat. She took a step back. “Don’t you understand? I hate this place! I almost drowned in that river!” She waved a hand wildly in the direction of where she knew the Mississippi River lay. “I almost died because I tried to stop my boyfriend and his stupid friends from drinking themselves to death! If Cas hadn't... if he hadn’t gotten to me when he did, I would have died. That’s all I can remember when I come here. If you wanted to see me so badly, dad, why didn’t you and mom come visit me in Cali?” Sara stopped, breathing hard. Her mother looked close to tears. Her dad’s jaw tightened.

“And leave this town without a sheriff?” He growled. “I couldn’t do that. Sara, I know what happened scared you-.”

“It ruined me.” Sara hissed. She felt tears fill her eyes. “And you told me that if I just worked hard enough, I would stop remembering. You were wrong. And you were wrong to do this.” Sara turned and got back in her car. “I'm not a puppet on a string that you can just bend to do your will. I'm not staying here on account of a trick."

“Sara, don’t be like that!” Her dad snapped.

“Sara, please, don’t go!” Her mom called after her, her voice cracking with desperation. Sara ignored them both, just as she’d ignored Cas, and let the car drift down the driveway.

Somehow, someway, almost as though fate was dragging her there, Sara found herself standing at Cas’s front door. The old farmhouse, with its green walls and white trimmings, greeted her like an old friend. Sara stood at the door, one hand raised to knock.

What am I doing? She wondered, lowering her fist. She chewed her lip, peeking over her shoulder at her car. Maybe I should just go find a place in town to stay. Sara grimaced. And waste more money? It was already more than I could afford to get down here. Every other cent that I have goes towards paying for school.

Sara took a deep breath and forced herself to knock. She waited, a lump in her throat. Sara heard barking behind the door.

She remembered that dog.

His name was Bailey. Cas had saved him after his father had hit him on the road. Sara took a step back as the door squeaked open. Cas was there, holding Bailey, the yellow labrador, by the collar.

“Sara?” He blinked in surprise, before a grin lit up his face. “Hey… I didn’t reckon you were gonna come by.”

“Didn’t intend to.” Sara admitted. She paused. “Can I come in?”

“Was a time when you didn’t have to ask.” Cas let go of Bailey. The big dog rushed forward and sniffed at Sara’s pants. He wagged his tail.

“Guess he remembers you, huh?” Cas laughed—a genuine laugh this time. Sara followed him inside. Cas waved for her to sit down on the coach in his living room. Sara sat. She watched him return from the kitchen a moment later with two bottles of tea.

Is that the best he can do for holiday refreshment? Sara wondered.

“Drink?” Cas offered, sitting down beside her, far enough away that it was clear he knew where her boundaries were. She nodded, taking the bottle.

“No beer this time.” She muttered, opening the tea bottle. Cas stiffened.

“You know, I’ve waited years to see you again.” He murmured, gazing down into his drink. Bailey came over and rested his head on his master’s lap. “To get the chance to tell you how sorry I am. That night… I was angry and frustrated with everything. My dad ruined my birthday and made me feel worthless. And then Jed... he made it sound fun to go do what we did, with the beer.” Cas looked up, his eyes bright with remorse. “I never thought he’d do something like what he did to you, and I coulda killed him for that. I loved you, Sara. I never would have done anything to hurt you."

Sara closed her eyes.

“I know.” She whispered. “It wasn’t your fault, but it still hurt, Cas. Even before he pushed me, you stood with him against me. I was only trying to help you, and you were horrible to me."

“I was a jerk back then.” Cas sneered, the self-hatred clear in his voice. He took a sip of his drink. “To everyone but you... guess I finally showed you my true colors, aye?”

“Well, you did jump in the river to save me.” Sara smiled softly. Cas shrugged.

“It wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me."

Sara pulled up her sleeve. She shoved her arm in front of Cas’s face. He blinked. 

“The bracelet.” She murmured. “I was going to give it to you on your birthday, before everything happened."

The silver bracelet on Sara’s wrist had her name engraved on the band. Cas ran a finger over it. His shoulders sagged.

“I really ruined everything, didn’t I?” He rasped. The young man rose to his feet. “Wait here; I want to show you something.”

He turned and made his way up the stairs, leaving Sara alone with Bailey. She arched an eyebrow at the dog, who was staring at her. Bailey tail wagged.

Cas reappeared a moment later. He sat back down and handed her a small, velvety, black box.

“That’s what I was going to give you,” Cas confessed. “On your eighteenth birthday.”

Sara knew, from the way he said that, what was in the box. That didn’t stop her from tearing up as she saw the beautiful, gleaming ring.

“We could have had it all, couldn’t we?” Cas said, an unbearable affection and regret in his voice. Sara looked up. She saw the emotion in his eyes, and she remembered something.

The one thing that had always made her love her hometown had never been the place.

It’d been him.

“Maybe we still can.” She told him without anger or resentment. She handed him the box and gently placed his hands around it. She rested hers on top of his. They were as warm as they’d been when she was a girl. “Someday."