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Friendship

         Approaching a friend that I see occasionally I asked him how things were going. He answered “They are not really going, but rather crawling as things have really slowed down. I thought to myself, how much slower could it get for both of us because we often see each other when we are looking for things to keep us occupied. However I believed this was understood between us so I conceded his statement and asserted that it is often that way for me. I wanted to stand on top of a rock and exclaim “I got to find interests to hold my attention or the interest rate of my mental faculties will descend rapidly.” Instead I asked the person if he wanted to go to a café and I reminded him, it will not be long term but he indicated to me that idle time without some diversion seems like an extended time span.

         We entered the café carefully despite that we had been there before and I quickly made the point that my friend should try to find some type of hobby. Possible he could find two or three to keep him busy and give him something to look forward to beyond the daily prep work to get ready for the new day. He was a little surprised that I got to the point right away as it was understood between us that there is often a short time of silence or winding down when we first meet. Without words, however, I revealed the notion that since we both often have idle time for large portions of the day, that sometimes it is good make a statement right away. I told him, “I know it seems like I am dealing with idleness without any uneasiness or concern, but this is not always the case. I have several hobbies, most I do at home, but they can be done outside the home with proper guidance, which keep my mind active and gives me a point of focus.” I surmised that after I made this sentence he believed this was contrary to the length of my usual sentences, which are often half as long. I realized this too and then I explained to my friend the importance and the excitement, silent and inconspicuous as they sometimes are, of finding some type of hobby to keep you vested and gives you some method of concentration, and they can be fun. He replied in curious agreement.

         We agreed on the fact and I gave him some assurance is to his comment on the shortness of my sentences and the sometimes incompleteness of making a statement, which by itself could be considered a hobby that I should take, and I actually have taken, along with several other hobbies, I suggested that my associate would find some solace in finding a hobby. He nodded in agreement as to the idea but was still skeptical about the process and the result and then I replied. “You’re my associate and I think I can offer a number of different hobbies you can partake, anything from memory improvement and trivial to collection of old relics or keeping track of old newspaper articles. After he gave me a couples reasons both for and against the idea, I continued “And it will keep you preoccupied and, now I would like to say “It won’t cost you a cent”, but this rarely happens in this world. He smiled slowly and thought about this idea, and then he asked a question rather boldly. “Charles, how come I am now only an associate when before I was a friend, which is a small step up, and before that a buddy, which from where I come from, is a bit higher than friend? I paused a few seconds and I complimented him on his humor, indicating the similarity to mine, and assured him, that he was all three. He then replied “I think that is a compliment, I will have to wait and see,” but then he got serious and said “However Charles, saying my sense of humor is similar to yours, is not exactly complementary.” I laughed but just a little bit just in case he was partly serious and then I responded “That is one of the hobbies I have undertaken, the acute use of words as I often read about certain literary devices and word styles they use, and this could become a hobby of yours, in due time.”

         The coffee and the other things we ordered just to pass the time and fill in the gaps of silenced arrived and we both looked at the waiter who stood near us and then he said to us. “It is good thing to have a few hobbies because if you two are not careful and become stagnant, you could be standing where I am.” We looked at each other, glad that we are not standing there, but each of us wondering if the person across from us is happy, sitting here. However, we didn’t contemplate that too much, although I advised my friend, that if we each had a few hobbies, we may not have to worry about how the other person sees us as much. I then said “You can find a hobby in the strangest of places. For example, reading a newspaper, listening to the radio, watching a television program and how to make something or how to acquire a skill, even a book that you read years ago that reminded you of something.” My comrad, for now he was at this stage then seemed to concur with me but hoped for further information then replied “Charles I bet a few of the books you read gave you options for a hobby in keeping records of unusual information, or trivia of unusual scientific data, or doing certain puzzles written in unusual code.” I sat across him for a few seconds seriously and then responded “That was a good observation, maybe too good for a comrade, and I don’t see what is so unusual about those activities, except the fact that for the way I interpret and talk about such hobbies to others, which may not be unusual but certainly could be considered thought-stimulating. The waiter then returned and asked “Is everything fine over here,” and before we had a chance to say “Yes”, he continued to my friend “Listen, you are down to comrade, but I would make a stand, otherwise, and we both interrupted and finished his sentence. “We will both be standing where you are and making the kind of dough that you make, we know.” We finished and went to the park and thought which hobby would this experience inspire. The waiter than said as we left, “The next time you come in here, and I know there will be a next time, I hope Charles that you friend has a few hobbies to discuss, and one of them better not lead to you becoming a waiter.”

         My companion, as I now called him, then affirmed “I usually think of hobbies as something one does physically even if in a sitting or neutral position, such as stamps, coins, art, painting, or photography, but I guess one can do a hobby just anywhere just by using his mind, and in several cases, supported by the help of someone else, unknown to him, of course.” I gave him a look of approval and indicated to him that this was a longest sentence he has spoken, and now I have to try to match it. Furthermore, I mentioned a few hobbies that fit his description and then spoke to him earnestly “When you said the help of someone else, unknown to him, I don’t think you meant yourself, because believe me, I think you would know you got help.” A couples of seconds later we both said “If it is one thing I know about, is the need to get help.” He agreed softly with my statement, and I implied that I somewhat agree with the statement we both just made,  and then I had revealed that this, what we have been doing today,  was a hobby of mine. That is, helping a friend, or a companion with some issue and giving him an example at the same time, often putting a little of myself into it.  I specified that this was often unintentional but effective and mentioned a few hobbies that he could obtain from this day might involve aspects of listening, humor, advice, quiet time, and delicate use of words and metaphors. I further informed him that he was clever in some of the responses he gave me at about the same time that I was being clever, and then he got a little serious and said to me. Charles if you were clever, I am sorry I missed it and if you were not, and that is your best, and needs improvement, then there is a hobby for you, but as for me, this is news and thus a hobby in the newspaper or publishing field is in order.” I complimented him on his wit and we both know he did not mean most of it, but it was the excitement of finding a hobby and using me as a source of information, and humor simultaneously that was exciting. I gave him a soft look of approval and we both walked to the T stop.

         We both now knew the parting of the ways has arrived and he thanked me on my help of not only finding him a hobby, but doing it in a way which was a source of amusement, and if that is myself, so be it. Before we went to the other side of the T stop I said to him, “ The next time we go to that coffee shop I want you to show the waiter that you have several hobbies that you have been doing, and one of them may preclude you from ever needing to be a waiter.” He agreed with several words and then asked me if all this humorous discourse was a result of a hobby that I really enjoyed, and if there was any antidote. I knew this did not require an answer but I informed him that he was well on his way to finding a hobby just by his witty and astute way of thinking about things, and his favorite may involve attaining tolerance of this day. We departed.

January 25, 2021 21:59

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