Swinging

It is quiet, with only the sound of the creaking from the swing chains to break it. She sits on one. Her mom on the other one  The security lights from the convenience store across the street light up their faces.

They aren't to be there after the park closes. It is the only place where they can talk privately and he won't hear.

“We have to go, mom.”

Her nod brings her hair forth and covers, for a minute, the newest bruises on her face. She is right. It is just how.

“Grandma.” Her daughter answers the question reflected in her eyes.

“I don't know.” Her teeth worry her lips.

“Why not?”

Her daughter only knows the kind woman she spends summers with, not the woman she grew up with.

“Your grandma didn't want me to marry him. She would have forbid it, if she could. She was stern, wanting more for me than…”

“Are you worried about ‘ I told you so’?”

Her mom's laugh is bitter. “And judgment.”

“Which is worse. Continued abuse or a bit of judgment?” She starts the swing moving again and the ever present creak fills the silence while she thinks.

“When did you get so smart?” She asks her twelve year old.

The girl shrugs. Watching all her mom has gone through has matured her. She isn't as innocent as her classmates. It is both a good and bad thing.

“I don't know.”

Her mom ‘s head falls back as she looks up at the stars visible through all the city lights and pollution. 

Her own mom's words play in her head.

“You will regret it. There is something wrong with him. I can see it in his eyes.”

She recalled rolling her eyes. Her own nineteen year old self knows better than her mom. Doesn't she understand, she is in love?

Now at thirty- four she wishes she had listened. But then she would have never had her daughter. One good thing from the mess of her marriage. 

“She told me I would regret it, and saw something evil in him I couldn't see. I was nineteen and cocky. Thought love conquered all. It doesn't. Remember this my child, the only way you can change a man is if he is wearing a diaper.”

Her daughter giggles and mom smiles. 

“I will mom. You tell me a man is evil and I will listen. I promise.” 

“Good.”

They swing for a while in silence.

“Are we going to Grandma’s?” It is getting late. The people moving in and out of the convenience store are more skuffy. They can't be out there too much longer.

“I will reach out to her,” a bitter laugh, “she will say yes for you.”

“She loves you mom.”

She turns to her and her face is shadowed by the bruises. “Thank you. Maybe. She was older when she had me, tired. It wasn't like when I had you and had energy. Maybe that is why I don't feel that love.”

“She talks about you a lot. Told me that she was surprised when you came, that she didn't think it was possible. Happily surprised,” she watches her mom’s face soften in pleasure, “She talks about how smart you are, how you started reading at three. Did you mom?”

“I did.” She is fully smiling now, with no bitterness.

“She is quite proud of that.”

“I didn't know.” 

Her daughter starts swinging her legs, lifting herself up high in the sky. The moonlight reflects off her golden hair. Her mom watches and decides. Her child deserves better than this. She will leave him, even if it means groveling to her mom.

“I will reach out to your grandma.” She says. Her daughter ‘s sigh of relief echoes through the silence.

“It will be awesome! We can make a whole new life there. Start over fresh.” Her mom smiles at her enthusiasm. She only wishes she could share it.

Her mom has been a strict parent, frustrated with the life she had and unable to get the life she wanted. She wanted to be a teacher. After getting pregnant, she was unable to continue. It was a completely different time. 

“I never thought I could,” she told her daughter at one time, “when I did, I was devastated. But,” a sigh comes with this, “I did my duty.”

She was a duty. It explains the lack of affection she felt from her.  A vow was made to be a different parent. When it came to affection she was. This situation with her father though… 

Her birth family was safe if lacking affection. She had trouble deciding which was worse. 

Maybe, just maybe, things will work out alright.

“It will be an adventure.” She declares.

Her child beams. “Yes. When can we go mom?”

“Patience my child. I have to talk to your grandma first.”

She has no patience. Enough beatings. Enough huddling in her room, hands over her ears trying to ignore the sounds of her father's screams and her mom’s cries. She knows he will kill her one day if they don't get away. Her mom is her best friend, her one true parent. They must get away from him.

“The phone is free,” she nods to the phone booth across the street, in front of the convenience store. It is mostly used for drug deals and other shady purposes. 

“I don't have a quarter.”

“Grandma will accept the charges. Come on,” She jumps off the swing with all the enthusiasm that has been beating out of her mom. Taking her hand, she drags her out of the park. 

“Okay, okay. Slow down.” 

They reach the phone and enter the dirty booth. It smells of smoke and body odor. When she lifts the receiver, it works. That is all that matters. She entered zero and her mother ‘s number. 

After giving her name, she waits to see if the charges will be accepted. She hears the sigh before the reluctant yes.

“Mother, we need your help.”