Raindrops

I don’t know if I could really call my experience “waking up,” because I could have already been awake. But that’s what it felt like. I was suddenly conscious or aware or awake, and I knew that I was standing in the middle of the road in the rain. 

Why was I here? I don’t even know where “here” is. It could be my neighborhood or it could be foreign country. I stood in the road, not one part of my body moving except for the occasional turn of my head as I scanned my surroundings. Nothing. I don’t recognize one single thing. 

At this point, the rain is falling harder now. The sky is a bright cloudy gray color, which I assumed was typical for a stormy day. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw one, if I ever did. Looking up into the sky, I could see where the sun remained hidden by the clouds, bursting with light as if it can’t wait to reveal itself as the storm passes. I expected to feel the stinging pain of raindrops as they hit my eyes or tasted the metallic hint of the rainwater against my tongue. But I didn’t. 

Odd. I looked back down around me, watching rain drops hit against the concrete walls of buildings around me or fall onto the ground into one of the many puddles. I looked back up and saw raindrops falling towards my head and face. Why couldn’t I feel them? I held out my hand into the air, my brows scrunching together, puzzled. The raindrops were falling, but they weren’t touching my skin. Somehow, due to some anomaly, they were falling through me. 

Maybe I imagined it. Suddenly a little scared, I ran over to the bush next to me, reaching out to grasp the soggy leaves in my hand. Again, my hand fell through them. I toppled over, slamming my body onto the ground, if it was even that. I was utterly shocked. Picking myself up, I sprinted over to one of the many buildings around me, their walls slightly darker due to the collection of water droplets. I gingerly held my arm out again, terrified that my theory would be proven right. I pressed my palm to the wall, or at least moved that way. My whole arm went through it. 

The whole world seemed to fade out around me, the sounds of raindrops hitting the objects around me getting quieter, almost to a whisper. My heart was pounding loudly in my eardrums and I felt my head spin. Sitting down on the cold ground, I held my head in my hands. Why was this happening to me? I couldn’t even remember where I was, so how was I supposed to make it stop? My breathing was coming quicker and quicker, in shallower gasps. Until something caught my eye. 

I don’t know where it came from because it wasn’t there when I was running around just minutes before. All the sounds and the panic ceased, all replaced by curiosity. I got to my feet and walked towards the scene. A tree was bent over in an unnatural shape, splintered and jagged. I walked around it, my hands finding a comfortable spot in the cotton of my pockets. Something had happened to this tree, some act of force occurred hat caused this amount of damage. I reached out a finger, just one finger, and ran my finger along the broken pieces. Wait. I touched the tree? 

I turned around and tried to put my hand on the bushes again, and no, my hand went through the leaves. What was so special about this decimated tree? As I stared at it, a buzzing went through my head. A buzzing so loud I was forced to double over to try and save myself from the agony. As I leaned over, squinting my eyes tightly shut, a loud crash echoed in my ears and all the noise stopped. I looked up carefully , half expecting evidence of a lightening bolt hitting an object. Nothing was different. Except…was that metal? 

A large clump of some element was now laying in front of the tree. I squatted down beside it, observing the striations and wires that ran through it. Beside it, shards of broken glass and what appeared to be bits of rubber lay scattered across the road. And, in the distant grass surrounding the tree, a black brick-shaped object. A closer observation led me to see that it was a phone. I picked it up, rolling the device in my palm. The screen was shattered, but several texts messages from someone remained instilled on the screen. 

Reading the name “Jess” on the screen sent something through me. A wave of chills that caused bile to shoot into the back of my throat, followed by an intense wave of nausea. In my ears a sharp screech and crash sent me doubled over again, and this time a cry escaped my lips. 

This time, when the sounds stopped, I looked up and saw a young man laying down in the road. He appeared to be sleeping. I looked him up and down, watching as a black bag began to encase him. A lightbulb clicked together in my head. I understood everything now. It all made sense. The rain began to pour harder around me. 

I remembered the buzzing phone, leaning over to get it from the ground, the pounding of rain on the glass. I remembered the sliding, the swerving, the screeching, and panic, and eventually the flash of lights and smell of burning rubber. 

I looked back to the young man laying on the ground, and noticed the bag zipping up around him, locking him into the darkness the bag induced. I understood it now. That man was dead, and if facts served me right, that man was me. 

Around me, rain poured, and I let my arms fall to my sides, watching as the rain continued to fall through me. Why do I always end up standing in this damn rain?