Heatwave Sunday

The air conditioner had given up sometime around three AM, wheezing to a pathetic halt with what sounded like a mechanical death rattle. Now, at eleven in the morning, their apartment felt like the inside of an oven set to slowly roast your inhabitants.

Maja was sprawled across the hardwood floor in just her underwear and Riley's favorite flannel shirt, the soft blue one that was practically threadbare and somehow still too much clothing for this weather. She'd unbuttoned it completely, using it more like a blanket that she could dramatically fling off herself every few minutes.

"I'm dying," she announced to the ceiling fan, which was spinning uselessly above them. "Actually dying. This is how I go. Death by heatwave in a shitty apartment with broken AC."

Riley sat cross-legged beside the dresser in nothing but boxer briefs and a sports bra, hair pulled up in the messiest bun possible. Even the small movements required for their weekly routine felt like running a marathon. The estrogen patch box sat open nearby, its packaging already slightly damp from the humidity.

"You're not dying," Riley said, though they were pretty sure they were melting into a puddle themselves.

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one who gets dramatically overheated every time the temperature goes above twenty-four degrees."

"It's thirty-seven degrees, Maja. Everyone is dramatically overheated."

Maja rolled onto her side, dark curls plastered to her forehead with sweat. "Are you really doing that right now? In this heat?"

Riley peeled the backing off the new patch, fingers slightly slippery. "It's not like I can skip a week because it's hot."

"But what if you, like, sweat it off?"

"That's not how it works."

"How do you know? Have you tested it? Very thoroughly?"

Riley snorted. "I'm not conducting scientific experiments with my hormone levels."

"Missed opportunity." Maja watched as Riley positioned the patch on their upper arm, one of the few spots that wasn't currently glistening with perspiration. "God, even watching you do that is making me hotter."

"Everything makes you hotter when it's this temperature."

"No, I mean—" Maja gestured vaguely. "The other kind of hot. You're very... competent. It's attractive."

"You think me putting on a medical patch is attractive?"

"I think you doing anything is attractive. It's a problem." Maja flopped onto her back again. "A very sweaty problem."

Riley smoothed down the patch and immediately felt the adhesive trying to fight against the moisture on their skin. This was going to be a fun week. They crawled over to where Maja was sprawled and collapsed beside her on the floor, which was somehow cooler than any other surface in the apartment.

"We should have gotten a place with central air," Maja mumbled.

"We couldn't afford a place with central air."

"We should have robbed a bank first, then gotten a place with central air."

"Good thinking. Very practical."

They lay there in sweaty silence, the only sounds being the pathetic whirring of the fan and someone's lawn mower outside, because apparently some people were masochistic enough to do yard work in this heat.

Maja suddenly sat up. "Ice bath."

"What?"

"Ice bath. We fill the bathtub with cold water and ice and just... exist in there until this heatwave ends."

Riley considered this. "Where are we going to get enough ice?"

"Corner store. We'll buy them out. It's an emergency."

"Maja, we can't afford to buy a store's worth of ice."

"Then we'll make it the old-fashioned way."

"With what? Our broken freezer that's currently doing its best impression of a slightly cool cabinet?"

Maja deflated. "Right. Forgot about that." She was quiet for a moment, then brightened again. "Public pool!"

"It's Sunday. The community center is closed."

"Fountain in the park?"

"That's gross. And probably illegal."

"Since when do you care about laws?"

"Since I don't want to get arrested while half-naked and covered in fountain algae."

Maja groaned and flopped back down. "We're going to die here. They'll find our heat-stroke bodies clutching each other on this stupid floor."

Riley rolled onto their side to face her. Maja's face was flushed pink, her hair a disaster, shirt sticking to her skin. She looked ridiculous and beautiful and completely miserable.

"You know," Riley said, "for someone who's supposedly dying, you still look pretty good."

Maja cracked one eye open. "Don't try to seduce me when I'm suffering."

"I'm not trying to seduce you. I'm just saying, even when you're complaining and sweaty and dramatic, you're still the prettiest person I've ever seen."

"That's literally seduction." But Maja was smiling now, that soft smile she got when she was trying not to look pleased.

"Maybe a little."

Maja shifted closer, despite the heat making every point of contact feel like touching a radiator. "You're pretty good-looking yourself. Even when you're all..." She gestured at Riley's general state of dishevelment.

"Gross and sweaty?"

"I was going to say 'glistening like a sexy athlete,' but sure."

Riley laughed. "You're delusional from heat stroke."

"Probably. But I stand by it." Maja's fingers found Riley's, linking them together even though both their palms were damp. "Hey, remember last summer when it got this hot and we spent the whole day in that terrible motel with the good air conditioning?"

"You mean when we pretended we were on vacation and ordered room service even though it was just pizza from down the street?"

"Best fake vacation ever." Maja's thumb traced over Riley's knuckles. "We should do that again. Find the cheapest place with working AC and just... hide there until this is over."

"Or," Riley said, "we could stick it out here. Together. Make it an adventure."

"A very sweaty, miserable adventure."

"The best kind."

Maja considered this. "Okay, but if we're staying, we need supplies. Ice cream. Those little handheld fans. Maybe one of those kiddie pools."

"For the balcony?"

"For the living room. I don't care anymore. Desperate times."

Riley grinned. "I love when you get all practical and solution-oriented."

"I'm not practical. I'm dying and my brain is making last-ditch survival plans."

"Very sexy survival plans."

"Stop calling me sexy when I look like I've been melted and reformed."

"Never."

Maja made a frustrated noise that turned into a laugh. "You're impossible. It's too hot to be charmed by you right now."

"Too hot to be charmed, but not too hot to hold hands?"

Maja looked down at their joined fingers, then back at Riley's face. "Never too hot for that."

---

An hour later, they'd dragged every fan they owned into the bedroom and created what Maja called "the world's most pathetic wind tunnel." Riley had managed to find a bag of frozen peas in the back of their freezer, which they were taking turns pressing against each other's necks and wrists.

"This is actually kind of nice," Maja said, the bag of peas draped across her forehead like a cold compress.

"The heatwave?"

"No, stupid. This. Being gross and sweaty together."

Riley thought about this. Maja was right, there was something oddly intimate about being uncomfortable together, about Maja seeing them like this and not caring, about both of them too miserable to maintain any pretense.

"Plus," Maja continued, "when the AC gets fixed, we're going to appreciate it so much more."

"When do you think that'll be?"

"Hopefully before we actually die of heatstroke." Maja rolled the frozen peas down to her chest and sighed in relief. "But if not... at least we'll go together."

"Very romantic."

"I'm a romantic person. Even when I'm slowly cooking."

Riley reached over and pushed Maja's sweat-damp curls back from her forehead. "Yeah, you are."

The sun was beating down outside their windows, the temperature showing no signs of dropping, and they were both miserable and sticky and probably going to be for the foreseeable future.

But Maja was right, there was something nice about it. About being too hot to care about anything except staying close to each other and finding small ways to help each other survive.

Even if survival currently meant sharing frozen vegetables and lying very still on the floor.

"Hey Riley?"

"Yeah?"

"Next apartment definitely needs central air."

"Definitely.”