I Sold My House

I look around the room at my family and my smile slowly fades at the expressions surrounding me. 

“You did what?” My sister says… Well whispers.

I clear my throat and clench my fists. I was sure that they would be proud. 

“I sold my house.” I say again. 

My mom shakes her head and looks up at the sky. I can see her lips moving fast as she prays in Spanish. I wish I could hear what she was saying. Probably something along the lines of “She’s an idiot, Lord forgive her.” 

“Why would you do that Mija?” 

I look over at my father and gave him a small smile. 

“It was time.” I say honestly. 

The living room that is currently holding eight people breaks into absolute chaos and I feel myself get a little dizzy. I slowly sit at the table and look at the food I have set up for everyone. I spent four hours and twenty-seven minutes making this meal. Four hours of my months left. I look at the paper I have sitting in front of me and feel my eyes water a little. Not for my sake, but for theirs. Perhaps it was unfair of me to keep this from them for so long, but here we are. 

I look over at my son and down at the papers again. This was the only decision I was unsure of. A child is a huge responsibility. But this is my child. My Angel. He would live comfortably, the years I spent toughing it out at the Pizza restaurant and then at the school made sure of that. Also his father made sure of that. I smile at the only bright side of the situation I'm in. Tony.

“Can everyone come sit and eat with me? I want to explain more.” I say softly. 

My body is tired. 

I watch as the table slowly fills up and I sigh as the bickering doesn’t stop. I try multiple times to interrupt, but I am talked over each time. I pick at my food that I spent so much time on knowing that it will be left untouched. An assortment of so many different options. Fish, chicken, chorizo, vegetables, tortillas. So much food that will be wasted. News like this doesn’t cause much of an appetite. I start fixing everyone's plate and ignore the headache and how dizzy I feel. I need a distraction.

I stare at my son and smile at his big brown eyes. The spitting

image of Tony, with my big smile. A beauty. How can I do this? 

I try to interrupt once more but everyone is still bickering about me selling my home. What use is the home? It will be empty. I wonder if they wanted me to save it for Angel, but he’s only two. He’ll have plenty of time to find his dream home. A home without me. 

I look at my mom and sigh. I just want to spit it out. 

Stop

Stop

Stop

Stop. 

“I have cancer.” 

No sound. No reply. 

“I have a tumor, inoperable, and cancerous in my brain. I will be dead in no less than a month. I want you all to stop fighting and

help me. This changes everything.”

No sound. No reply. 

“I have my will here. Mama, you and Papa are getting ten thousand. The rest will go to Angel. He will have access to a portion when he turns sixteen, the rest will be for college. He will have to get a job, so make him. The money I am giving you needs to be used to pay off the restaurant debt. I’ve seen the papers, use it for that and nothing else.”

I sigh and look at the faces of my family, all pale. All hopeless. 

“Maria, you will get my car. Do not wreck this one. I don’t have a backup to give you. It’s perfect for your children, take care of it. My life insurance policy will provide twenty-thousand. I want it split between Mauricio and Christian. Both of you, use it for your children.” 

I look over at my Angel once more. 

“Angel will need someone. Tony is gone and I will be soon. I don’t know who to give him to. I don’t know who I can trust to take care of him and give him the best future. He is my everything, and I don’t want to make the wrong choice. I need all of your help. Please.” I whisper. 

I feel tears prick my eyes and I get angry at myself. I swore I would be strong. 

“I will take him.” I look up at my cousin Heidi and think it over in my head. 

She takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes before speaking again,

“Isaac and I have been trying for a while now, the doctors don’t think it will happen. I will take care of him, love him, and raise him well. As will Isaac. I’ll surround him with family, and we will love him like you do.” She says softly. 

I nod my head and look at Angel, “Tell him that his mother went to Harvard, or Yale, or Duke. Make him smart. He has to be something. I am counting on all of you to make him something. Hell, make him the president.” I say. 

"This can't be right, the doctors, they must be able to do something?" My mother cries.

I listen to the sound of my family protesting the inevitable and say nothing. I exhausted every doctor begging them to fix it. I saw so many different people. Asked so many different questions.

"There is nothing to be done. Please, give me peace and love in my last moments." I whisper.

No sound. No reply.

I let the silence fill me with peace as I ignore my families soft cries and fast prayers. 

“I know this changes everything for everyone, but I am happy. I will be with Tony. I will be at peace.” I whisper.