I SAW WHAT I SAW

"Look in the mirror." It was my better half, the person I used to be, who made me look straight down the rabbit hole I fell, into a squalor of purgatory. 

I had been fighting with the gang since who knows how long. "Hear no evil; see no evil." This was their mantra and I was made to swear to it from the moment I unknowingly made a bad choice in walking on the opposite side of the tracks. I ended up in a huge mistake in life by going down the wrong neighborhood street. It led to an unavoidable meet up with Hazy Sleeze Job and his boys. I did not want to mess with them as me and my brother and sister were new to the town. It was a night from hell when that happened. Time was not on my side.

It was late one night. Supper was over and I was going on a last minute errand for my momma. Leaving the brownstone I stepped down the brick steps and headed to the corner store, except this corner was not the one I thought it was. I got mixed up with the night lights, the one way street signs and some of the buildings. Not where I wanted to be right about now cuz I was had. This was not the neighborhood my dadda said we'd be living. "Jamesly, my son, hear me out." He took me aside as he sensed the need for a pep talk. After the moving truck had left, we were all trying to adjust to our living space for the first time in a new house. "We're in the big town now. I know it is gonna take some time to get it all right with how you're feeling. Stay low." His finger pointed at me along with a certain 'Don't dare do it' look. He knew me like no one else, so I totally understood his direction to help me adjust my life in this new place. But I took the wrong way to find the corner store and literally got cornered. 

As I strode towards the waterfront in hopes that I'd find the right turn, I felt someone in the shadows near me. I subtly glanced over, then quickened my pace. The next thing I knew there were a few unknowns on either side and they cornered me against a picket fence near some back alley trash slum. The conversation started with one of them asking me with less than a kind manner, "Who you with? You being here ain't a coincidence." This smart ass was in charge given that his boys now surrounded me. "You in the wrong place." He said this with a hard shove to the chest and I could sense a bad ending as he then stepped into my face, grabbed my shoulder and placed a knife up to my face. I shouted telling them that there was a mistake and not the reason they found me here. I shook my head telling them I knew nobody or anyone but then push came to shove. Fists and body slamming had me sprawled on the ground struggling to get back up. A final kick to my gut and I yelled for them to stop this bullshit. Laughing, the head of the rat pack told me to, "Get up, boy. You ain't seen the best we got." I attempted to get up as he still belittled me over and over. "Don't even think about gettin' outta here." Finally standing, I faced them all, attempting to stop this charade, but they shoved me along to start walking and soon we were at the place. It was another back alley but this was somewhat different. Down and around a corner there was a warehouse door marked with a strange symbol; a circle with three eyes going across it. How to get out of this mess was not happening any time soon. I was nervous and scared shitless for the first time in a long time. Where would my family think I went since I should have been back long ago? No choice. I had to play the game. 

With heavy hands I was escorted through the door into an unbelievable space where art pieces hung like we were in a gallery. Paintings and sculptures filled the upper floor levels. I could sense these were either rip offs or stolen items. Why was I here? And soon enough the meeting came to order. The first decision came at me with purpose and no options. I was told under the rules of the neighborhood, that what I saw here stays here. "You are on our probation. Our rules are tight." Basically, the gang was giving me no choice but to be one with their Hazy Sleeze Job purpose. A new body to the area was what would take them to the next level but with a lingering attached threat. "You go south and we will find you and yours. No doubt." They made me swear to do whatever was needed or else my family would pay. They didn't say how but eyes would be everywhere. I was brought to the door, told to get out and go back to where they found me. "Wait for it." They made it clear a message would be the prompt to hustle back for a job where the EYES have it. 

Life turned upside down as I went back to the brownstone. Family life went downhill as I got more involved with this group of dealers where repurposing stolen art was their gain. I turned away from everyone even my dadda as he attempted to get into my head. Soon I was coming and going on my own. It turned ugly one day when my brother attempted to follow me down the street. I turned and yelled at him to go away. He said something which made me suddenly stop dead in my tracks. 

"I want to do what you do." I looked at him then walked back, grabbed his shirt and said, "You know nothing about anything. Hear me?" My brother only said, "I followed you a few times." He looked at my watch, bling and shoes. "How much money did them things cost?" It was a moment as if I was back living in another time. We were shooting hoops together in the park down the street from our house and he said, "I want to do what you do." I was a senior on the varsity basketball team looking for my qualifying entry into a college team. It was a pivotal point in time that was soon to happen until we moved out of the area and college fell off the chart. And now what? It hit me. Hard. I did not want my brother to be anything like me or go anywhere where I fell. Going down into this rabbit hole was my own choice. What do I do now? My family would be put on the list if I hesitated one moment. "Turn around and don't look back." I gave him the look and he understood, knowing this was the brother he could trust. I turned and walked away with heavy footsteps. Past a certain corner, I nodded to one of the guys, as we were due to meet up in a half hour for another take down. 

The more I walked, the more I felt a wash of enlightenment come over me. How to do this without a glitch? 'Stay low' I remember my dadda said. Low is where I went, right down to the bottom of the ladder. Under the stairs was a disguised door. Time to end the game and to bust loose from my time with Hazy Sleeze Job. We had the info and it was just a matter of who, when, where to take the package down. I used the eye scan at the door and walked in to a crew heavily on top of this take down soon to happen. It was a high five moment all around. Tactical teams were in place and the planned 30 minute countdown time was on. 

"I can't wait for all of us to be back where we left off." A big smile greeted me and grabbed me in for a bear hug. It was my dadda and chief CIA officer. "Your momma can't wait to have you blow out that candle. Well done!"