To the Lake

There was no way he was not going to make it to that lake. Today was his last chance to see it and her. The bus station was only a short walk from his hotel in Cusco. As he walked quickly towards the station he was thinking of all the things he could say to Astrid, the girl he met on the bus ride from Machu Picchu less than 24 hours ago. As he approached the station, his dreams dissipated quickly. There were not any buses or people waiting for them. As he walked closer he heard a woman yelling in Spanish. He didn’t have to speak Spanish to understand that there were no buses. His brain immediately went into overdrive to think of a quick solution. He remembered that he read on a forum that you can rent a taxi to the lake. He wondered if he had enough cash on him or if he should go to an ATM. He was about to walk when a red taxi stopped right in front of him. The driver was a young man who had a friendly smile. 

“Can you drive me to lago humanatay?” He made a driving-the-wheel gesture. The driver looked at him for a second and responded .. “Si señor pero … cuanto pagas?” Cuanto. . . Does that mean when? And what is pagas?! 

“He is asking you how much you are paying.” A woman’s voice from behind explained in perfect American English. He turned around and it was the same woman who was yelling a few minutes ago. 

“Oh, you are American. Thank God. I don’t know how much. Maybe 500 soles?” 

She took a step closer, talked to the taxi driver, and told him the cab driver agreed. Then she asked, “Would you be okay if I came along ?” 

“Yes, of course, I don’t mind at all. Your Spanish will help for sure.” 

Thirty seconds later, they were on a three hours road trip to Lake Humanatay. For the first twenty minutes, the young woman talked to the driver in Spanish. Ethan had headphones in his ears but was not listening to anything. He forgot to charge his AirPods, again. That is how he started talking to Astrid yesterday anyways so maybe the dead headphones were a good thing. They were talking about music for a while before Juan, the driver, asked her where was she from. To his surprise, she was also from Chicago. He took off his dead headphones and asked her:

• “Wait, did you say you are from Chicago?”
• “Were you eavesdropping?” 

He froze. He had no idea what to say.

• “ I . . . yeah. .well . . . no my. . uh. . headphones just died and I . . .uhm . . heard you say Chicago so I assumed that’s what you were saying, sorry.” 

She looked at him for a second then laughed. 

• “I was just messing with you. I am Luna.”
• “Oh shit, I didn’t even introduce myself. I am so sorry. It has been a crazy couple of days. But anyways, I am Ethan.” 
• “Nice to meet you, Ethan. You can stop apologizing though.”
• “Right..sor…” He stopped himself. “ So, why are you in Peru all alone?” 
• “I am not alone. I am with my boyfriend.” 
• “ Oh, okay . . .is he like here with us?” He said with a mischievous smile.

She started laughing. “No. He is not here. He was being stupid and he did not want to go to the lake so I just left him at the hotel.” 

• “Oh, I am sorry. Shit, I did it again.” 
• “You have nothing to apologize for. Why are you here alone?” 
• “ Well it is a long story really but I am trying to do things I want to do without worrying about all the ifs and the buts that stop us from doing things.” 
• “Interesting, I like that actually but what was her name?”
• “ Whose name?”
• “The girl who told you that. I am going to assume that she also broke up with you.”
• “Wow. . . you can tell all that?” 
• “No, but your face did.” 
• “My face? Never heard that before. But unfortunately, you are right but that was over a year ago.”
• “ So are you happier now?” 
• “ I am actually. I have done things I never let myself do before because I doubted myself or because I was worried or scared. Wait, why am I telling you all this?”   He stopped himself and tried to think of the answer. He just met this woman and was telling her all these private things that he never would have before. 
• “Because you wanted to I guess. You don’t have to if that makes you uncomfortable.” 
• “No, it is fine. I actually do not mind at all. I am just surprised at myself.”

This time she smiled. She looked at him and asked:

- “ Why are you surprised at yourself? Do you mean to tell me you normally don’t share your life story with complete strangers? ”

He smiled then countered:

• “ No, I don’t even tell people who are close to me anything, let alone complete strangers. Do you normally get into cars with guys you never met before?” 
• “ Ouch. Are you trying to deflect from answering the question?”
• “ Deflect? Me? No, never. I was trying to say I am normally private and reserved but it seems that changed on this trip.”
• “Is that so? How come?” 
• “ Well, yesterday I met this girl. . .” She interrupted by making a loud wooing sound and then laughed. He smiled back and continued:
• “As I was saying. I met this girl on the bus ride back from Machu Picchu. We got held up by construction and we started chatting. She is from Sweden and is traveling through South America for the summer. She is pretty cool and we sorta hit it off. She told me that she was going to the lake today and that I should come so that’s another reason for this trip.” 
• “That’s awesome. I am happy for you. So why are you alone and not with her?”
• “She is with a group of friends and I didn’t want to impose. Actually, no that is not true. They are cool and all but didn’t want to travel with the whole group.”
• “ I see. Did you get her number at least?”
• “ No, but she does not have a cellphone. She lost it while hiking in Ecuador. But, she told me what hotel she is staying at and even invited me over to spend the night and just go along with them.” 
• “Oh well, that’s promising. Why didn’t you?”
• “I don’t know. I thought it was too much too fast you know?”
• “I see. So you were not ready. It didn’t feel right to you maybe.”
• “Yes! Exactly.” 
• “I understand. Well, that’s nice I think. I mean it is also risky because you might have made her mad by turning her down.” 
• “ I don’t think so. I think she took it well and was very understanding. She is really pretty laid back and I liked that. But okay enough about me. Tell me about your boyfriend. How was he being stupid?” 

But before she began talking the taxi driver slowed down the car as he came to a stop at the road. It looked like another construction stop. Juan got out of the car and said something in Spanish which Ethan interpreted as “let me go check it out.” He walked to a woman with a construction helmet. Ethan watched as they talked for a couple of minutes and from the look on his face when he walked back it didn’t seem like he had good news. It wasn’t. The road was going to be closed for two hours, so they can either sit there or drive back to town. Ethan and Luna looked at each other and decided to head back to town. 

The “town” which was not too far was just a street with very few food options. It was basically either chicken or “cuy” which is guinea pig. After, walking around they settled for a place where they were served by a child who was not older than eleven years old. They had potatoes and a salad. Ethan could not help being very curious about this woman whom he can, now sitting across from her, see that she was gorgeous. 

- “Why so quiet?” She interrupted his thoughts. 

-“ Sorry, I was lost in my own mind. . . I am very curious as to how your boyfriend would just let you go on your own in a foreign country like that.” 

-“Let me go? I hear the phone in the back of the restaurant. It’s the middle ages calling. They want their sexist back.” 

-“No . . . come on you know what I mean." She chuckled.

-“I am just messing with you. I know what you mean. It’s complicated. We got into a stupid argument last night so he didn’t want to go to come. He wanted to check out things around the city of Cusco which is fine but that was not what I planned. This could have been avoided if he was involved in the planning and didn’t just leave everything for me to do. So, one thing led to another and here I am.” 

-“One thing led to another ?”

-“Yeah I said some things that were too aggressive I guess.” 

-“ You don’t have to tell me what you said and sorry if I am intruding.”

-“ You are apologizing again. You are fine. It actually feels good to talk about it and you are easy to talk to.” 

-“Well, in that case I have to say that I wouldn’t have left you on your own on a trip like that. Not just for safety issues but if we came here together then we stick together.” 

-“Yeah ? What else cowboy?” She smiled as she teased him again but to her surprise he went along with the joke as he took off his pretend cowboy hat and spoke to her in the worst southern accent: 

-“ It would be mighty kind of you mam to stop messing with this fine gentleman here.”

-“ Why is that?”

-“ Because I reckon you heard what happens to those who mess with the bull.”    They both erupted in laughter as they got up to return to the taxi. Thankfully, Juan was already in the driver seat. They quickly sat down and didn’t say much as Juan was talking on his cellphone. Ethan tried to look ahead as Juan drove but kept stealing glances sporadically. This time, it wasn’t only Ethan thinking of Luna.

-“Who is quiet now?” It was his turn to interrupt her thoughts.

-“So what’s the plan with your Swedish girl? She countered.

-“First of all she is not my girl. Why do you always turn everything around to be about me? Also, I don’t know. I will just see how things go.”

-“ I don’t turn everything around thank you very much and do you usually just go with the flow like that? You seem like the organized type.”

-“ See you just did it again. And I’m a type now? But you are correct yet again. I am the organized type.” He said almost embarrassingly. 

-“It’s alright, nothing to be ashamed of. I’m the same way. So, you must have some type of plan of action with this girl. The thing about riding in cars with strangers is that we don’t have to lie to each other.” She added a wink to her comment. 

-“I honestly am not lying. I really don’t have a plan. I just want to live in that moment and see where it goes. Do you have a plan of action with your boyfriend?” 

-“Oh I see what you did there. Flipping it around. Okay. . . Okay. . .well I don’t know is the easiest way to respond. On the one hand, he is a good guy. He is probably the best boyfriend I had so far. Sex is decent too. On the other hand, I don’t feel a spark with him. There are no fireworks, you know? He checks a lot of the boxes.”

“ Wow” Ethan was amazed. Not by how practical this relationship sounded but by her honesty with him. She truly told him how she actually felt about it. Luna was shocked that she said that out loud to this complete stranger that she knew almost nothing about. She hasn’t even told her best friend about how she felt. 

-“ What is the wow for? ” She asked 

-“ I am just surprised that you told me how you felt. It’s sort of refreshing. So, why are you with him?” Ethan wondered if that was too blunt.

-“ Did you just ask me that? Wow buddy, buy me dinner first.” Normally Ethan would have apologized but he was suddenly armed with a newfound confidence.

-“Well, I did pay for lunch.” And winked at her. 

-“Someone is getting confident. I like it. Well, fair question I guess after what I shared. I don’t know exactly. I have never really felt this instant connection with someone like we were made for each other by the universe. Those relationships were people think, feel, laugh at the same thing, You know where you don’t have to hide behind any mask or pretend you are someone else or you just accept things just to get by. All of that has always been a fairy tale to me. I have been on my own through one shitty relationship after the other so when he showed up in my life, I thought maybe this is it. Maybe this is what is is about. Maybe I need to compromise and settle because it will not get better than this and I should just be appreciative of what I have. Maybe this love that people talk about is what happens after all those compromises are made. “ After a long pause, Ethan finally speaks.

-“ I am not sure why but I get the feeling that you don’t fully believe that.” 

-“ You might be right. I don’t know.”

-“ Maybe you do but not ready to come to terms with it yet. Maybe you are scared to be alone. But trust me I am not judging, I have done a lot of stupid shit because I felt alone so I understand.”

-“ Interestingly, I believe you. I didn’t feel like you were judging me. It is a good feeling. I am liking your energy Ethan.” 

As he was about to tell her that he likes her, the taxi slowed down and Juan spoke. They arrived. Ethan felt a strange feeling of sadness engulf him. He didn’t want the trip to end. He felt like he could talk to her for hours. 

“ So we should be back here by six. He will wait in the car until we get back. I am not sure if you will find your friend or not but just in case I have enough m …”

“ Wow I am not letting you drive alone with a stranger for three hours at night. I will be here.”

Luna was joyous when she heard his response but she didn’t want him to regret not leaving with this girl he liked. 

“ Dude, you don’t have to worry about me. I will be fine. I don’t want you to waste another chance with this girl.” She was tearing up from the inside but of course he didn’t see it. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to go anywhere without her but instead he laughs and asks if she is just trying to get rid of him. But his mind wondered if maybe he misread the signs. Maybe she didn’t like him. Once doubt creeps in, pride kicks the door in so instead of telling her how he truly felt he says: 

“I think you are right. She is beautiful, smart and was way into me so why waste that chance?” 

“Exactly!” Pride won the battle.

As they started walking up the trail, they realized it was too quiet but none of the two knew how to break the ice. Finally, Luna found a good question. 

“ So why did you want to see this lake aside from seeing the girl ?”

He was about to answer when he realized something. Before he spoke, a group of hikers were coming down the trail. Ethan seeing the group stepped to the side to let them pass and crouched over to tie his shoes. Luna stopped along his side and watched as he kept fumbling the knots to tie the shoes correctly. She laughed at him and asked him if he was still learning how to tie his shoes. He didn’t respond as he got up again and turned around quickly to continue on the trail. She frowned and wondered if something was wrong. She then turned around to look at the group of hikers that passed them. She gasped then stopped. 

“ Ethan?”

He kept walked without looking back but she could tell that his body tensed up. 

“ Ethan, was that Astrid?”

He stopped. Again not turning around. 

“ Why Ethan? Why you didn’t talk to her ?”

He sighed heavily and turned around. 

“You asked me why the lake. I was about to tell you that it was something I would not have done before because of all the ifs and buts. Then I realized that I just stopped myself from telling you something because of all the ifs and buts. Then I saw them. Then it just all came to me. I know I just met you literally hours ago. I know you have a boyfriend. But I like you. It’s crazy I know. But what are the odds of us meeting like this ? So maybe it’s not so crazy. Maybe it’s meant to be. Maybe by doing something I was scared to do I met someone that I am supposed to be with. It’s a big leap I know but it’s the truth.” 

She looked at him without saying a word, smiled and came closer and hugged him. She then told him : “Let’s go see that lake.”

He didn’t move. He was about to say something when she said:

“ I like you stupid.” then she held his hand and motioned him to move. 

He smiled, held her hand tightly and they started walking.