Dick and Dora

Warning Sensitive information, sexual references, physical abuse, subtle question defaming racism

I would like to tell you an elementary reading book I and others learnt how to read, in grade one, Australian primary school, over 50 years ago.

Dick, the boy, and Dora, the girl, mostly ran, and Nick, their dog, mostly fetched their ball.

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See Dick run. See Dora run. See Dora throw the ball. See Nick run. See Nick fetch the ball.

I was four years old when I mouthed the letter sounds of those above sentences. My finger pressed heavily on the page. "I do not understand the words..." I thought. "...Perhaps I can ask the teacher, the pastor's wife, to explain this to me." Her thin stoney figure scared me. Her hair was pulled back, so her facial skin stetched her eyes far apart, like the aliens who visited me in my dreams. She smelt horrible - wore no make up. Her daughter once sat in front of me, i did not like her and was glad she went away as a result of HER behaviour. One day, a short time ago, her mother left the classroom, she would stripped off her school uniform and the older grade 7 boys yelled, whistled and heckled her ' "Take off her panties off." Yuk!

So Dick and Dora were words not naming nouns because i was afraid to ask that cruel woman. That pastor's wife who would not let me go to the toilet till recess. I would hold and hold till I was wiggling and trying not to think of a tap running. If I asked, I would be hit with the ruler! Corporeal punishment was real in my days! I did not know "discipline" was really a passive-aggressive adult behaviour, wanting power and energy from a small, small child. The striking pain would sink into my lower limbs, cuts, bleeding and swelling, and something about Jesus and God. When my parents were called to the office, they were terrified- cowering- ashame- they would be ostracised because of their demon child - me, who only wanted to pee! I loved them then, and with my adult comprehension, I love and forgive them now.

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Once upon Dick and Dora were happy in the grown up world. "Hi, I love you," Dick said to Dora. Ahh, we are the perfect couple... my friends are jealous of me," said Dora. Dick laughed. Dora laughed. I, the narrator, laughed! Yes, Dick and Dora were as happy as Barbie and Ken! So, We all laugh together. But then I realised that Barbie and Ken were copyrighted. They belonged to Hollywood, not to Australia, so I had to be careful of that! 

Our upside down country of Australia with its genetically disfigured animals, such as kangaroos, koalas, and platypuses, was good marketing and good money, but we needed to know our place. Ken and Barbie were plastic, toxic, white, and reinvented to create new social norms, so they sold.

Our toxic White Dick and toxic White Dora were old schools struggling to be noticed on the world stage, and poor Nick was the stereotype small middle-class dog of the sixties. So they grew up in us but were scrapped by the next generation.

Then, see Dora put on her heavy make-up in front of her seven angled mirror. See her look at her tight curved ass leotards sideways and be happy. See Dora throw the ball over the play field. See Nick run after the ball, whilst being videoed. See Dora post on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads. See, Nick gets 157 likes; see Dora. She thinks she is important.

See Dick's loss of weight after going to the gym. See Dick repress his emotions to gain power over Dora's intuition and nagging. See Dick pump up his muscles to find other women on app Binge Social. 

Oh dear, what a shock to my poor boxed in soul, scrambling to get out of the ridiculous religious structures called normal!

Dora says," Dick you love Barbie." See Dick puff up with grandeur, forgetting his bosses, overbearing nature to him anf dominate poor Dora. "Oh Dora, I love you, but America calls." Dora reeling in pain as her tears wash off and a false eyelash sticks to her face. See Dora slaps Dick's face yelling, "I love you, but I also love Ken, and America calls ME too, so we can stay in touch on the internet."

See Nick curl up in the corner, whimpering, "Will I go with my beloved Mum and Dad and suffer six months quarantine, or will I be a pound puppy?" See Dick and Dora's neighbourhood here the fights. "Poor Nick," they said.

The next day, see Nick play with his friends in the park. "What's going on?" said Peanut the Doberman. "I don't know where America is?" whispered Nick. Peanut looked around, seeing Dora pointing her phone camera at both of them. "Watch me," Peanut muttered as he walked in veiw of the phone and let out a big fart followed by crouching and wandering around with his hind legs partially bent to poo. " Oh yuk," said Dora, deleting her video. See Peanut's owner apologise and pull out of a plastic bag from her hip pouch and scoop up the poo. See Peanut's owner think, "Something stinks about Dora. "... pet telepathy.

Later, see Nick bump into a recently homed Gypsy. "Hello, Nick," purred Gypsy's new owner. Nick wagged his tail and dropped his ball, waiting for a pat. "Nick," said Gypsy, who was psychic, "What's wrong, you look sad?" Nick stopped wagging his tail and sunk to the ground, "Gypsy, my friend, They are separating. " See Gypsy bee line, bearing her teeth to poor Dora's camera and then sink her teeth into the leotards. See Dora screaming, "That bitch bit me". See, the owner pick up Gypsy and apologise whilst looking at Dora winding up her pants leg. "Dora, Im sorry, luckily, you have no wound- ah, your leotards are wrecked I'll pay for them, sorry." See Dora take details and threaten legal action. "GYPSY, what is wrong with you? You are seeing the psychologist as soon as I can get you in, sorry, Dora!" Gypsy pushed her head through her owner's armpit, yelping, "I'll miss you Nick! You were worth it when I am muzzled" woof growl woof

See Dora phone Dick without him answering. See Dora know her husband's Red Ferrari at the gym next to the park! "Dick must have just finished his workout," she thought, seeing Nick, her honey, with female bees swarming around him. See Nick run to Dick.

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So I decided to bring Dick, Dora, and Nick to my world now and ask why their story did not have a cat? I would have read better if there was a cat name Priscilla, or Mona, or Ishtar!