24 Hours

The sound of rain against the pavement increased as the sky sobbed. An odd scent of coffee permeated through the smell of the rain in the thick humid afternoon air. The dark gray sky darkened with time, white drops of hail dropping without a warning as they hit the buildings, cars, and umbrellas. And there laid Andrea. Her body motionless on the zebra crosswalk, soaked from the rain as she blinked to process what had just happened. Struggling to get up, she spotted an elderly couple from afar running to her aid and helping her to her feet. Andrea thanked them with a smile as she clumsily grabbed her open umbrella that was left on the floor. 

Ignoring her reddened cheeks, she looked down at her recently baked chicken bagel sprawled all over the street. The bread sogging as more and more droplets fell on top of it. The material of her white shirt started to become just barely see through from the rain alongside a big brown splotch from her coffee stuck to her stomach. Andrea sighed but kept her head held high as she continued walking towards her destination, ignoring the concerned stares from the drivers and pedestrians. 

Andrea entered a tall white building that seemed unaffected completely from the day's rain. Each step she took blared across the empty reception hall, leaving a trail of water behind her. With her hair still damp, Andrea quickly made sure the coffee stained blouse was hidden under her blazer before making her arrival known to the receptionist. 

                                                  #

“Thank you for being here Ms. Pérez,” the interviewer stated warmly. Andrea felt her world stop as the man paused to look at his computer screen. She knew exactly what was coming next. Nevertheless, he continued in a soft tone, “unfortunately this is not what we are looking for,” the interviewer apologized, his eyebrows upturned while looking at Andrea. 

Andrea fiddled with her blazer collar, pursing her lips as she blinked rapidly and swallowed whatever saliva her body had produced at that moment. After a deep inhale, she showed a grateful smile to the interviewer as she nodded quietly, standing up slowly trying to think of something, anything she could come up with to respond. 

“Thank you for the opportunity sir.” It was all she could come up with. A line she had said one too many times and yet, her voice was still shaky. She cleared her throat and shook hands with the interviewer as he led her towards the exit. 

With another deep sigh, Andrea felt her phone vibrate against her skirt pocket. Picking it up with nothing but frustration, the screen read the following email. 

Good morning Ms. Pérez,

Thank you for your interest in The University of Economy for the masters of Economics and Finance. Your hard work does not go unnoticed by our admissions team.  However, after careful consideration we regretfully inform you that you have not passed our criteria. 

We are sorry about this answer and hope to see your name for next year's admission tests. 

Sincerely, 

The University of Economy

Andrea groaned quietly after reading the email. Of course she hadn’t been accepted. What were the odds? It's not like she worked her entire academic life to do a masters in The University of Economy and follow her parents footsteps or anything. She walked out of the building defeated, her heels making a sloshy sound of water in her tights with each step she took back home. 

As she entered her apartment, Andrea headed straight towards her bed. Her comfortable freshly made bed that had never touched the outside world was now experiencing a mixture of pavement, rain, make-up along with dried up coffee and some bread crumbs. She checked her phone and ignored every notification of all the rejections she accumulated that day. She also just so happened to not see her parent’s incessant texts asking whether she got a job or at least managed to get into The University of Economy. Instead, her fingers naturally clicked on her favorite app. Scrolling down with a straight face and dead eyes, she looked at the posts of everything she had missed, occasionally chuckling quietly at random videos. 

And then she saw it. The post that finally caught her attention. It was a video of one of her classmates performing the violin at the “Classical Music showcase for young artists”, known as the most important event of the world in the classical music industry. The video showcased her fingers gracefully playing each chord, her body gently swaying to the rhythm as her face reflected nothing but joy, her eyes sparkling under the bright lights. 

Andrea's heart broke. Her dream had come true; it just hadn’t happened to her. The dream she had been ridiculed for and got told wasn’t worth it. The dream she had ignored and that made her choose economics as a degree for the “safer route.” The route that was supposed to guarantee her a job. Yet, as some cruel irony, she's gone over a year searching for a job and nearly became broke in the process. The route that was “so safe” that someone else got a job in her dream field while she was stuck searching for a way to build her already written future. 

A notification popped up in front of her screen, bringing her out of her trance before she had another existential crisis. Her rent was due and she hadn't paid it that month. And worst of all; she had no money to pay for it. Only three days left to find a new place. How was her family going to react to this? After all the work and effort they provided into securing her success and making sure she was going to end like them, here she was, barely scraping by. And it's not like she didn’t work, she worked constantly, pushing herself to every limit possible to the human species. What was the point of it all, because after all this work, she was still stuck in the same misery. What was the point, what was the reason for all of this? Is there something she was missing, was there some secret ingredient to happiness? Was there a secret ingredient to life?  

The life she could’ve had did nothing but haunt her that night. Reminding her that she could have risked it all and still succeed. And though success wasn’t guaranteed and she could’ve failed her family by following her dreams, at least she knew she’d be doing something she loved instead of staying stuck in the field of economy.  She had been nothing but a coward her entire life, letting everyone tell her what to do instead of choosing for herself. Always being polite and never expressing herself, working hard to get the best grades and doing nothing but studying all day. And she hated every second of it, but she had been too scared to do anything about it. Too scared to take a leap of faith and do something. 

That night the only question she could ask herself was: What was the secret ingredient to life? 

                                                          #

The next day Andrea woke up with a quickened heartbeat and sweaty palms, her adrenaline increasing with every second as she thought of what she had to do that day: admit to her family that she had failed everyone, including herself. 

She had been given this year as an opportunity to find a job and get into The University of Economy for her masters while being financially supported. And yet, here she was, still no job or a chance at getting another degree. And compared to her parents who had entered for their masters a year after graduating, she was nowhere near their success. She had no one. No friends, no job, no university, no hobbies, and now, no money. 

And the question she had asked to herself the other night had reappeared in her brain as she looked around her room. The secret ingredient to life… was there even an answer to this? 

“If I were to answer this question,” Andrea whispered, frowning deeply in concentration, “I would… I would say that… that-” she paused. 

There really wasn’t an answer to this, was there? Because Andrea could not think of one. She couldn’t think of why all the pain and suffering she went through even had a purpose in her life. The only thing it had taught her had been how to feel nothing but regret and shame. 

She thought back to a possible answer, her brain working ten times harder as she tried to come up with a satisfying solution. Was the missing ingredient happiness? Did she have to go through all that just to be grateful for feeling joy? There was no way all of… this was made just to feel happy. All this pain, all the work, the hard work, the humiliation, and regret. All of this, was to be happy? 

Andrea shook her head in frustration as she rubbed her eyes, her mascara from yesterday spreading on her eye bags. She hesitated a second as she realized that all of her belongings were to be packed in a matter of days. But hey, at least she had some time to move out instead of getting kicked out immediately without previous notice.  

And with perfect timing her phone rang loudly across the room. It was her father. 

“Good morning, how are you?” he asked with enthusiasm. 

“I’m great.” Andrea lied with a smile, ignoring the nausea that started flowering. 

“Yeah? I’m glad. Have you gotten a job yet?” he immediately asked. Of course he did. 

Andrea felt bile rise up her throat. She swallowed the bitter taste as she took a deep breath. There was no way her father wouldn’t know she had just lied, and now, he was going to get the confirmation. With a deep breath, she muted her phone’s microphone as she emptied her stomach on the trash can beside her bed. She coughed as she struggled for air and frowned deeply as the smell hit her nose, picking up the phone with a sigh as she unmuted herself.

“I haven't gotten a job yet.” she admitted with shame

There was a small pause, “and have you heard from the university yet?”

“Yes…” Andrea started, wincing quietly as she said: “I didn't get accepted.”

The silence was deafening, and without warning, Andrea quickly spoke up.

“I also got a notification that I haven't paid rent on time so I'm going to get kicked out. I was wondering if I could travel to where you and mom are staying so I could stay for some time until I figure things out?” she rambled said as her heartbeat raced against her chest. 

And as she expected, there was another pause.

“I will talk with your mother.” Andrea's father said this quietly, hanging up before Andrea got the chance to reply. 

Andrea blinked quickly at this, her mouth slightly open as she stared at her phone screen numbly. What was the secret ingredient to life again? That's right, she didn't know. That day all Andrea could think about was an answer to the question she had asked last night. Even as she packed and exhausted herself from too much thinking, she kept trying to find an answer, only ending frustrated with each result. And now with all of her packed belongings, Andrea could only sit and think.

Her stomach rumbled loudly across her empty room, reminding her that she hadn't eaten anything but a yogurt since that morning. Then again, that was the last proper “meal” she had remaining in her fridge. And who would've had the time to buy more groceries? So, she went to a convenience store and bought a cheap meal to satisfy her temporary hunger. 

The meal was decent. Some rice with chicken and vegetables submerged in a warm soup that transported her back to her childhood’s obsession with this particular dish. The music from the store created even more nostalgia and happiness as it reminded Andrea of her weird boy band phase when she was in middle school. Reminded of her previous passion when it came to this boy band, Andrea could just sit and be flooded with memories from when she was truly happy. And with each satisfying bite, Andrea could feel her worries disappear slowly while her focus was on how surprised she felt that she remembered every word from the song. A small smile began to grow as she sat alone in the store and just lived. 

She left the store, humming the tune while walking slowly as her skin absorbed sun rays. The park in front of the store had been calling her name as she carefully searched for an empty bench right beneath a tree. The wind blew a warm breeze over her body as the sun hit her face perfectly, encapsulating her with a warm presence. The sound of cars driving past the park were quiet enough to ignore, getting drowned out by the sound of laughter, birds singing, and even music. Then, everything just stopped. Andrea’s entire world went still, though, instead of being still from fear, it was still from peace. She focused on the warmth and stillness of the moment, memorizing every detail her human eyes were capable of capturing. Everything looked like a painting, as if it were all crafted carefully for a greater purpose. A grateful smile lit up Andrea’s face, her entire being thriving with a feeling of peace she hadn’t felt in years. This was it, this was the secret ingredient to life.