Sugar Maples

(Part 1)

By the time I step outside the leaves are on fire. I can almost feel the heat of the red-orange flames dancing on the sugar maples. I inhale deeply, wanting to feel the burning heat in my lungs. Smoke. Such a lovely scent in autumn. Is it quite the same when you feel it in the thick air all around you?

As I watch the flames twirl and twist, they begin to spread. They no longer dance only on my beloved sugar maples. I see them fly towards my entire property. My trees’ leaves are being burnt, leaving their trunks charred and alone. The burning leaves are like bright stars falling towards me. The leaves blanket the earth as if my falling stars are merely flakes of snow. Soon the fire will reach my entire property and beyond. Is it wrong that I just watch? Surely people will die from this wicked fire. Surely I will die! Yet I cannot do anything more than watch. I feel frozen in place. No, I am frozen in place. I breath the thick air and yet it doesn’t thaw my body. 

Who am I to condemn the world to such a bitter fate as this? Who am I to rip my hand from the icy cold grip of reason and embrace the reckless voice of fire? Can no one else see what I am seeing? We are doomed. A broken people bent on returning to the world the way we came from it. Our bones cry out in anguish to be free of their imprisonment. For years they have longed to break free from us, and their time has come. Is that the truth? Or is my mind lying to me? Perhaps my conscious would like freedom as well, but to free the mind is dangerous thing. Have we not learned from the subconscious? Surely this is the truth. The bones will be free.

My eyes fixate on the smoke that fills the area. It’s so wet and heavy on my skin. The smell is not so strong as it was before. Perhaps it’s mixing with the humidity. The smoke almost blocks all sight of the fire. For one glorious moment I think that it has gone out, when a breeze whips through the smoke making the flames leap for the sky. Fire may be a strangely beautiful way to die. I follow every swaying motion the warm glow produces. It teases me. Just when I think it’s about to envelop me the rascal jumps away and laughs. I don’t want him to run away before I’ve come with him. I have no wish to fight him anymore. Fire will be a strangely beautiful way to die.

My skin now burns to the touch. Am I truly so near to him that he’s given me the gift of his warmth? A small laugh escapes my lips before I can chase it back down my throat. It grows till I cannot stop it. He has chosen to take me with him! He will not leave without me! I scream with laughter. 

Something cold hits my cheek. I can hear my skin sizzle as the cold substance evaporates. I cry out as another even colder drop hits my arm. I look to the sky only to be greeted by more droplets. Rain has come. No. NO! This cannot be. I was satisfied with my fate! I didn’t ask for this. I wanted to go with him! Please let me go with him. Tears stream down my cheeks and mix with the burning cold rainwater. Then the skies open up and there is no escape for me or my fire. I scream in pain as I watch him die. He is no more. My guttural screams are wrenched from the depths of my throat and they ring out through the sound of rushing rivers in the sky.

I feel hands grabbing my arms. I fight against them. They are strong. I am not. Sobs wrack my body as I am dragged away, away from my dying lover. I care not where they bring me, nor if I survive. My trees are scarred and broken. My home is full of ash. And my fiery abyss has left me forever.

(Part 2)

“Amy, I need you to watch Heather. She's just outside and it would only be for a little bit."

I looked up from the files I was working on. “David... do you know how much trouble you and I both could get in if I keep on helping you out like this? You do realize that I'm not a licensed professional, I only work a desk job here."

My friend gave me an apologetic smile. “I know, I know. I just have a lot of other things to take care of. I said it would only be for a little bit. She shouldn't have any problems and you're so good with the patients."

“Fine, I'll watch her, but only for a little bit. Also, I need you to promise you'll stop taking advantage of my kind nature." I said with a smile.

David laughed. “I promise. Thank you so much, Amy!” I gave him a short nod and he rushed off to who knows where. Sighing, I closed the file I was looking at and and pushed it back into the my file case hastily. It wasn’t that I didn’t have time to help out my friend, I just didn’t like enabling his behavior. He was technically the professional who should be working on diagnosing Heather's issues, but no, he always found a way to get help. 

I grabbed my chair and shuffled over to the window. Peering outside I saw Heather standing and staring at the beautiful fall color. The sugar maples were in the peak of their colors. I smiled inwardly. Shouldn’t be too much of a problem for to work and watch at the same time. I raced back to my desk, curled my fist around the file I’d just put away, and ran back to the chair by the window. Finally I settled down in my chair, ready for a few productive hours.

Every couple of minutes I would look up and see Heather. She was standing in the exact same position each time I looked up. After a while I finished the file I was working on and decided to devote the rest of my time to watching Heather. It was strange. I expected her to take a step forward, sit down, or bend over to pick up a fallen leaf, but no, she never moved.

At one point I noticed that a heavy fog had rolled in and almost obscured the bright orange of the fall color, but a gust of wind blew in to show the dramatic palette once again. That was the only moment so far that I had seen any reaction out of Heather. Just when the fog came in front of the foliage she looked around and half stepped forward in excitement, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw the red leaves again. She looked down, but then stared at the foliage and began to laugh. It was quiet at first, and I couldn’t hear it, I only noticed that she was laughing. But then she bent her head back and laughed maniacally. I was on the verge of finding David and addressing the situation when she fell silent again.

I noticed the rain before she did. But when it began to pour she screamed. Never before have I heard such guttural screams of pain and loss. There was no context for it whatsoever and I panicked. Immediately I called for help and told them Heather needed to be restrained. They grabbed her by the arms and pulled her inside while she clawed at them. She alternated sobs and screams before they put her to sleep. I never understood what was wrong with her. 

You see a lot of things working a desk job in a mental hospital. And most of the time everything you see has a reasonable explanation. But Heather never had an explanation. She seemed so contemplative before the rain hit. Thinking back, I can never shake the feeling that she knew something I didn't. And when I walked into the walled enclosure after Heather was dragged away I saw the sugar maples. In that moment I couldn’t help noticing something. They almost seemed to be on fire.