Better Late Than Never

"We have plenty of time. I'm just hoping it's enough for us to arrive," brother Levi said earlier while we're crossing the road. He's driving too fast as if someone was chasing us. But the truth is, we are the ones chasing our grandfather's remaining hours. No matter how difficult it is, we need to be resilient for him.

My brother was focused on driving. I know I can't talk to him this time, so I just looked out the window. There I saw how peaceful the night was on the road, how stars are twinkling, and how the moon is glowing from afar. I bring my tiny hands outside, trying to feel how cold the breeze is.

"Grandpa loves to watch heavenly bodies every night," I whispered, sighed deeply after a tear drop. "Why does he had to leave us, Levi? He told me before that when the time comes, he'll have his rest forever. But why forever?" I looked at him, begging for an answer 'cause at my young age, I don't understand why life ends. Why my grandpa needs to rest in peace forever? Is he tired of us? 

"Our grandpa has reached his living life, Beli," he answered.

"That's why he's going to die? He's gonna leave us?"

"No, he won't leave us. Grandpa will be there above and will guide us. He will look after us. He will be our angel, Beli," he uttered. But I still don't get it. "For now, just look at the stars. You're sharing the same sky and I know he's doing the same," he said while smiling.

That smile from him suddenly erased the hopelessness inside me. It makes me expect that I will still be able to reach my grandpa, waiting us in his hospital bed, quenching our tiredness through his lovely smile.

"I'm sure, all of you will miss him. But I don't wanna miss him. I will not let myself sink in the thought that he'll be gone. That is life and God knows what's better for us," Levi again.

I looked at him. "Because he never will. We're just saying we miss someone because of their absence, Levi, but grandpa's memories will always be in our hearts." I don't know why I got those words but I know it is true and I believe in it.

Levi just sighed deeply, focusing again on the road. I looked outside and we're now crossing the bridge when suddenly, heavy raindrops splash on my hand. The wind blows my hair and the cold breeze makes me shiver. I immediately closed the window. 

"It seems like the weather knows what we feels right now. It sympathized us," Levi said.

I was yawning and just trying to talk to Levi so that I wouldn't be swallowed up by drowsiness. But also probably because of how heavy the rain was outside and it was already late, I didn't even realize I was asleep.

I am currently travelling in a very beautiful dream. There I wandered my eyes and made sure that this dream was venued at my grandfather's house. And I was not mistaken because I saw the image of him sitting in the opposite chair. The two of us are enjoying our tea while looking at the beautiful atmosphere.

Grandpa didn't seem to be in pain there. I could see how lovely his smile was at me. It was as if as he stared at me, his memories came back from the time I was born until now that I'm facing him. Even I was staring at him. Still nothing has changed in his appearance. There are still traces of his good manhood. I can already see some marks of old age in his face but that doesn't cover his natural handsome look. Being a kind grandfather screams at his stance. That's my grandpa. My dearest one.

I just shuddered to stare at him as he poured another tea into his cup. Then there I remembered the sadness I felt when I was still awake. "That would probably be your last cup of tea, grandpa," I said.

"Really? I think it's not," he replied smiling.

"But, there's no tea in heaven. You can only sip that here."

He laughed as if I'm joking. "I can demand if I want, Beli. I'm sure they'll give me."

He sipped his cup again and looked around. He was also whistling as if calling for the wind. Only then he look at me and smiled again.

"What does it feel knowing this will be your last day with me, grandpa?" I really can't stop myself asking.

He sighed deeply. "I can say that I'm indeed the saddest person on earth, Beli. Knowing that we will be apart keeps tearing up my heart. I don't wanna lose you, but what can I do? That is God's will."

"I love you, grandpa. I will miss you so much," I replied tearful. I could no longer resist it so I hugged him. Tightly tight hug.

He pet my back and spoke. "I'll always look upon the stars so that you can see me from afar. I love you, too and I will miss you, until we meet again. Take a rest now. Guide us from above, little angel."

I left hugging him and stared at him in astonishment. Suddenly, his eyes dimmed. His beautiful smile faded and was replaced by sadness. I also couldn't understand the quick shedding of his tears.

He's the one to say goodbye, isn't he?

I didn't get a chance to ask that question when I suddenly heard a loud blast! I knew that was no longer part of my dream. I was about to open my eyes but I don't understand why I can't. It was as if someone was pulling me to stay in a deep sleep. I can't feel nor hear anything. Am I in a nightmare?

I could do nothing but wait a few more minutes. I'm sure Levi will wake me up if I've been asleep for a long time or we've arrived at the hospital where grandpa is. And that is exactly what happened. Gradually, I woke up when I felt someone is lifting me. But to my great surprise, I found myself lying on a stretcher carried by the nurses! And what's more surprising, I was bathed my own blood!

I rolled my eyes and it was only then I noticed how many people were there surrounding the accident. I saw the front of our car had been flattened and had obviously been hit by a big truck that had not yet been removed in front of it. I quickly looked for Levi and was moved to tears when I saw he was also lying on a stretcher and seemed to be unrecognizable as his face seemed to be broken! He is also bathed in his own blood.

"I would have woken you up earlier because you were crying while asleep so I didn't notice that truck." I looked behind me when I heard someone speak. It's Levi.

Is this what grandpa is trying to say?

"I-Is it just our soul?" I cried after.

He looked down sadly. "Grandpa wants to see us for the last time, but it seems like we were never going to make it."