Iron Doors

Growing up with Riley was a blessing or at least that’s what I used to think, that girl could make a trip to the dentist office fun. I met Riley in my kindergarten class back when we were just five years old. We started to become close when our moms met at our classroom Halloween party. Our moms becoming friends resulted in a lot of play dates, by the time we were in elementary school we started having sleepovers almost every weekend. When seventh grade came around we started to slowly make friends with the wrong group of people, we didn’t know this at the time all we knew is that we were having fun being dumb kids. Walking around until midnight, hanging out with people twice our age around the neighborhood outside the local 7/11. Doing everything opposite of what our parents would say to do. 

  Freshman year we started to smoke the funny stuff and a lot of it. We would show up to school stoned, we’d make plans to meet up with our friends after school to smoke everyday, then go home after to smoke more. Sophomore year was the year things started to get worse, we started to attend house parties, sleeping over random houses and drinking in the woods until three in the morning. Overtime we started to meet people who had vehicles to drive us around which just meant more trouble to come, this gave us access to get to parties in dangerous neighborhoods. Eventually we started going to the wrong parties, it was beginning to be more than alcohol and smoking. 

  The summer of senior year Riley started to make a turn for the worst. I still went to parties but not as frequently, I started to only attend the ones with people I knew and felt comfortable going to. Riley on the other hand took school being over as an opportunity to have more time to party. She had her own car that she had bought with the money she had saved from working at the local ice cream shop. The second she could get her license she didn’t hesistate to go out and get it. Riley knew that if she had her own car she could go to any party, she could get her drug and alcohol fix at any time without depending on anyone. She started to take any pill, smoke, snort, and or inject anything she could get her hands on. 

  I had to let go of my friendship with Riley, it was time to move forward with my life. Being around that lifestyle wasn’t going to help me any with my future. Months after I stopped hanging around her I decided to text her to check in on how she was doing. 

“Hey Riley, it’s Leah. How’ve you been?” 

Riley: “Great, I just met this guy. He plays guitar in a rock band. How cool is that?”

Leah: “Yeah, that all sounds great”.

Riley: “Yeah and I am going to be in the band! As the lead singer!” 

Leah: “Oh wow, congrats. I never knew you wanted to be in a band..”

Riley: “Me neither, but I think it's my calling. We are going to be the next Paramore. He says that if we sell our souls we could be bigger than them. This is it, I am going to be famous”.

Leah: “Sell your souls?! WHAT?!” 

Riley: “Uh yeah. Do you even know how many celebs sell their soul for fame and fortune? It's not a big deal. What else am I going to do? Work at the local grocery store? I knew you wouldn’t be supportive”. 

  At that point I set my phone down on my kitchen counter. I just stood there in shock, what does she mean by “selling their souls”? It was such a cryptic thought, it sent chills down my spine. Whatever she was about to get into was bad I thought to myself. Who was this guy? What was with the so-called process of “selling souls” that she was about to take part in? How many drugs is she on? I wanted to know more but the other part of me wanted to hear nothing more about the situation. There was no stopping her, she was too far gone. If she wanted to run away with some strange man she had just met, she would. No one would tell her what to do. 

  Riley has always been very insecure with herself. In eighth grade she started to make herself throw up after she ate anything, after she lost twenty pounds she would wear outfits that would leave nothing to the imagination just to claim attention from boys. As time went on she just got thinner and thinner. She would send inappropriate pictures to boys from school, eventually this started to turn into men on the internet in exchange for money. When Riley first started getting into pills she decided to post videos of herself dancing online with just enough clothes on so that the video wouldn’t be deleted but still could make the viewer excited enough to watch it, she would monetize the videos as well as ask viewers to send her tips. 

  One year had gone by since I had last spoken to Riley. Honestly, I haven’t thought much about her these days. I had moved on, I was engaged to be married and I had a good job working at the bank. I was growing in my life and I had no plans to look back on the past. As I was sitting on my recliner watching The Office reruns in my apartment I had the sudden urge to go on to YouTube to watch a tutorial on how to make banana bread.

   I click on the app on my phone and I am brought to the homepage with suggested top videos. The very first video was a music video the title read “Awake in The Dark - By Iron Doors” the video had over two million views in one day. The girl in the thumbnail looked awfully familiar, in fact she looked a lot like Riley, it couldn’t be though. Could it?! I squint my eyes bringing my phone closer to my eyes trying to figure out if it’s actually her before clicking on the video. The thumbnail doesn’t have a clear photo for me to tell so I end up forcing myself to click on the video. The song was alright but the more I watched the more I was creeped out. The visuals were dark and red, there was mention of the devil about fifteen times, and most of the video took place in a single room with white walls. Still unsure if it’s for certain the girl I grew up with, I scroll through the comments, there were several comments referring to the girl in the video, Riley Davis. Although I knew Riley’s last name was actually Davidson I knew this was not a coincidence, this was my old best friend. 

  I couldn’t believe this, I was so shocked to learn that she had been well known for months now. She was a real rockstar. I needed more information on this band, so I looked up “Iron Doors” through a simple google search on my phone. They seemed to be very big into darkness, death, and not playing by the rules. Riley had dyed her hair blue that ended at her hips, they were most likely hair extensions, there was no way it could have grown that fast in a year, she no longer had her natural dark brown hair that she always kept shoulder length with her side swiped bangs. As I was digging for more information on the internet I came across an interview with Riley. The interviewer was Matt Jones, he was a well known podcaster. The interview had close to a million views. 

Matt: “So your band Iron Doors performs a lot of dark and twisted music? Where does the inspiration come from when you go to write these songs?”

Riley: “Mainly personal experience, I live with a lot of demons and I have had to go through a lot of battles with myself.”

Matt: “You mention meeting the devil many times in your music, would you say this is figuratively or would you say you have met the devil?”

Riley: “People are going to judge me on this one but I am going to be truthful. Yes, I have come in contact with the devil. I remember the night like it was yesterday out in that field in the middle of the night. No, there was no guy there with red horns and a pitch fork but you knew he was there and now I am here. To be honest, he lives within me everyday and my days may be numbered because of it." 

  Listening to those words come out of her mouth made my body stiff, the anxiety was taking over. I was scared. Scared that it is possible that this could all be true. Scared that Riley was gone, that her soul had left her body. What did she mean by "her days were numbered"? Did she have to make an exchange? How is this all possible? The Riley I knew wasn't that girl. 

 Another year had passed, at this point Iron Doors was a household name. I was used to the idea of my childhood friend now being a famous stranger, someone I used to know. They were on the radio, on the cover of magazines, and all over social media. There were many incidents over the last six months of the band having trouble with the law and they were recently charged with drug charges, Riley was included. 

  It was a Sunday in October, the same day I had found out my fiance and I were going to be parents for the first time. Not only did it turn out to be one of the best days ever, it was also one of the worst. My fiance, Jason and I were on the way to my parents house to share the good news. We had the radio on blast in the truck, happy as can be. Suddenly when the song stopped the DJ on the radio station announced that the Iron Doors had a tragic loss in the band. It was reported Riley Davis, birth name Riley Rose Davidson had passed away this morning around eight this morning from a suspected drug overdose at age 27. That was it, she was really gone and was now a part of the 27 club. Tears filled my eyes but I did not cry a river. It wasn't that I hadn't been sad over her passing but inside I knew she had been gone for a while.

I remember thinking back on that interview where she shared that her days were numbered. Was this the devil inside of her or was it the drugs? Were her demons inside the reason for her downfall? I will never know the truth and or the inside of Riley's mind but I had hoped that a part of the soul she used to be was sent to me.