Two Little Words

The story has slight nudity and mention of drowning. If this triggers you, my story may not be for you.

He couldn't say the words. Sure, he loved her, but he couldn't, wouldn't say it. She cared for him and felt she could live the rest of her days with him. They had met in 2005, so now, two years later, Tamra wondered why Todd never said, "I love you" back to her.

1995

RaeLynn sat in the passenger seat, and Todd sped around the curves of the country gravel road. The convertible's roof was down, her ponytail blew back in the wind, and the dust made her spit.

"Todd, let's go to the lake."

Home for the summer from college, they were enjoying a Monday off of work. He cranked the wheel hard and drove onto a road that jutted at a right angle to the one he left. Rae saw the Mustang's speedometer climb to eighty miles per hour, but she wasn't worried. Corn fields were high on each side of the road, their tassels gently fluttering in the breeze. The sky was brilliant blue, music blared from the radio and her pink toes rested on the dashboard, sandals kicked to the back seat. Suddenly, Rae careened upward, and if the car top had been up, she would have hit her head. Todd had roared over the hump wooden creek crossing without slowing down. Once again, he cranked the wheel, spinning the tires, and slid into the dirt parking area adjacent to the lake. No one was there except him, his girl, and his hopped-up baby blue Ford Mustang.

"Sweet! We've got it all to ourselves." Todd grinned while climbing into the back seat and pulling RaeLynn with him. She couldn't stop giggling, but he shut her up fast, grabbing her cheeks with a thumb and index finger and slamming his lips onto hers. His other hand grabbed her hair and yanked the tie from it. He smoothed it back behind her ears as he continued to French kiss her. She was his champagne, all bubbly and effervescent with a cherry on top. To RaeLynn, Todd was like a digestive aperitif, calming, a syrupy Galliano with a twist of lime. They perfectly complimented each other, and were the famous Quad-cities couple, together since eighth grade.

A fabulous baker, Rae specialized in banana cream pie, and people offered to pay her for it. Todd experimented with rich and gooey chocolate bonbons. They planned to open a shop after college with joint business and marketing degrees. Rae had even sketched a wedding cake like a banana cream pie topped by his bonbons.

A horn startled both of them as Jeff pulled up. "Whatcha two doing, Todd?" Jeff had his clown grin on, eyeing Rae's bare breast that Todd had released from her bra. Jeff was ogling her but she wasn't at all embarrassed. RaeLynn appreciated the attention and knew her perky boobs were a well-known and famously admired feature.

She squirmed to the side so her other breast would pop out, then lifted them up in her palms.

"Rae, what are you doing?"

"Jeff is staring, so I'm giving him a full look!" All three laughed, but RaeLynn had to take it a step further. She got out of the car, topless now, and leaned into Jeff's window, pushing his face into her cleavage until Todd roughly pulled her away.

"Get in the car, Rae!" She gave him the finger but went back to his car, pouting. Rae stared at the guys as they had a private conversation, and soon, Jeff left.

"Let's skinny dip, Todd."

"It's kind of cold to swim; we probably shouldn't get in."

RaeLynn jumped out, pulling her bottoms off, and ran to the lake. She turned around, backing in, her eyes on Todd. At each step, she squealed, the water hitting her higher and higher. Todd waited until he saw her breasts floating upward in the water and then walked to the edge.

"Come on in, Baby, it feels good." He shook his head no, refusing to give in.

"I love you, Rae, but not today."

She swam out to the makeshift raft kids had built and anchored fifty yards offshore years earlier. Todd sat in the grass watching. Rae had always been a strong swimmer, and he loved watching her arms cut through the water with her legs barely kicking.

Something was wrong. She had slowed, and her head bobbed up and down as she trod water. "RaeLynn!" he shouted. Her head disappeared. He waited, counting aloud. At the count of fifteen, he partially stripped and ran into the water, swimming as fast and hard as possible. She was ten feet off the raft when she went under. He dove, but the water was too dark. Todd tried again and again, even diving under the raft. She was gone. He climbed onto the raft to rest a minute but realized it was useless. They were there alone with no rescue near, and he had to get into town for help.

**

Fourteen months later, Todd was the best man at Jeff's wedding to Lisa. Sixteen months after the wedding, he agreed to be Willy's godfather. Because she felt the loneliness and despair seeping out of him, Lisa included Todd in all their family gatherings. Willy adored his "uncle," Todd. Occasionally, Todd made tiny bonbons and chocolate-covered jellies for Willy and his parents.

When Todd met Tamra and seemed to be lowering the walls that encased his feelings, Lisa was overjoyed for him. She wanted such a great friend and godfather to enjoy his own family.

"He's just afraid to get hurt again. Don't let it get to you." Lisa was advising a teary-eyed Tamra, who had confided that Todd was moody and never shared his feelings or reciprocated the normal I love you. "You need to work this out because having a long-term relationship won't work if he won't communicate and you are sad most of the time."

"I'm happy most of the time, not sad. It does hurt my feelings that he never says he loves me."

"Did you ask him about it?"

"I tried, but he shut me down quickly. That was the end of it. He turned from chuckling Todd to sullen scary Todd. I was afraid to say anything else."

**

"Todd, do you love Tamra?" Lisa intervened against her better judgment. "She loves you, but you have to open up, Dude." He nodded vigorously. "Tell her! Is it Rae? Or something else?"

"It's the disappearance of Rae. No closure with no body. They never found her. How can that be?"

"Todd, we have talked about this over and over. The police and rescue people—everyone has explained the depth of the lake and frigid water." He turned away and looked out the window, so Lisa let him be.

**

"Tam, I'm sorry I clammed up the other day."

"It's difficult to have a relationship with someone who goes from cheery to dark in an instant. I am not going to be able to continue with you if your moods swing like this. We have to be able to talk about everything. I know your girlfriend drowned; she was a strong swimmer, and you tried to save her. I know all of it. AND it was years ago and you are here with me, now."

He took her hands. "Yes, you are right. I want us to be happy. Rae would want us to be happy."

"Todd, that is the most insightful comment you have made – that Rae would want that for us. So my question for you is, do you love me?"

Lisa held his hands tightly in hers, carefully watching his face. A sob burst forth when a smile brightened his eyes and his dimples creased.

"I do."