It was almost impossible to make out the lone figure, shuffling slowly across the expanse of sand, far below. Only his movement gave him away. Wrapped in pale shreds of clothing, caked in tan grit and burnt red by the oppressive sun, he was all but a part of the desert already. Anubis, crouched in the shade of a rocky outcrop, panted his jackal tongue in an effort to cool himself. The heat of the clear day was extreme, the weight of its pressure, unrelenting. He pressed as much of his bare skin against the rocks as possible, his fingers spread wide against the sand-smoothed surface, all in an attempt to absorb their stored shade. Unlike his prey, he had come prepared, and lapped greedily at the water from one of the many skins hung from his belt. It was not a day he would have chosen to enter the shifting sands. He sighed and shook his head. The man’s persistent stumbling had taken him out of view over the next rise. Reluctantly, Anubis stood. He took up his long, curved spear, and set out into the sun to continue the pursuit. His endless trailing of the single soul was growing tiresome. As soon as he left the shelter of the rocks and felt the sting of the suns rays upon his bare skin yet again, he made a snap decision. It was time to speed things up.
Anubis strode on long legs across the dunes, consuming the distance between him and his prey quickly. The god towered over any human, and found his height most useful. Looking down on the creatures from on high made it far easier to convince them of his power, and that they should accompany him. It was the hardest part, making them see it was time. He wore a linen kilt, sandals and was bare chested but for an ornate collar. It was deep enough to cover well below his shoulders, and rattled with jewelled decorations that hung from its intricate embroidery. A hood covered the back of his neck, hanging like a weight from his pointed ears. The short fur of his head chafed against both. It was far from comfortable, but he was on official business, and needed to look the part. So he walked on, enduring both his clothing and the assault of the sun, confident that the ordeal would soon be over.
By noon, Anubis had caught up to the man. The weakling had fallen again. He approached in a way that cast his shadow long over the back of the poor soul, who trembled there on his hands and knees. As intended, his target looked up to see the canine features of his dark outline against the sand. The sight of which forced his shoulders to sag in defeat. Dramatics were key.
“But I’m not done yet…” He whispered.
“I would not be here, if that were true,” Anubis said, extending an open hand.
To his dismay, the dying man turned and swatted his long, clawed fingers away and pushed himself to his feet.
“No.” He croaked, and began walking again in earnest. Swaying much less than before.
Anubis held still for a moment. His nose twitching, his lip curling in outrage. He could understand the reluctance of some humans - the young, the unexpectedly injured or the rapidly sick. But this? It was clear cut. Why fight it?
“Look around!” He snarled, “What chance do you have?”
“A better one than if I go with you!” The man said, not wasting the energy to turn his head.
Anubis stalked forward on long, fast strides, kicking up hot sand and sliding into the man's path. His teeth were bared as he barked,
“Give it up, human! You time is done. Come with me to Osiris, be weighed and end this misery!”
“I told you.” The fool coughed over split and scabbed lips, “I’m not done yet.”
He ducked past the jackal-headed God, and kept walking into the endless dunes. He held his head high, somehow stronger for his defiance. Anubis remained, still staring into the empty space, and clamping his hands tightly around his spear. He twisted his grip back and forth, digging his claws into the wooden handle and scoring the ornate markings. Canine curses to Amun-Ra rumbled in his throat. Why did his task always have to be filled with such difficulty. Why rule that the humans needed to give permission to have their souls ferried from the mortal realm. It was ludicrous.
Swallowing the temptation to spin and launch his spear into the neck of the wasted man, ending the farce once and for all, Anubis instead, forced himself to take another approach. He fell into an easy step alongside the human.
“There is nothing but open desert and barren mountains for a thousand river-measures.” He said, as if offering friendly advice, “You can’t go back, they’ll kill you for what you did. Yet, there is also nothing ahead. Where is it you think you can go, except with me?”
“I don’t know yet. All I know is that you lie. You all lie!”
“Come now. I understand that you are upset. But you are a prince. The Gods are a part of you. How else can a pharaoh rise, but with our blessing? You are dying, it is true. Yet that was not our doing, but your own. We had high hopes for you. Alas, what's done is done and we do not hold blame.” Anubis explained, his voice full of false sorrow, “Why extend your suffering? Come with me. Weigh your heart. It could mean peace.” He suggested, his tone intentionally shifting to one that was silken, and comforting.
“No. For I do hold blame, demon!” The man said, and kept walking, increasing his pace.
“SO BE IT!” Anubis barked, “I shall remain here in this cursed place and when you inevitably fall, you will be mine regardless! Know only that other souls dwindle whilst you delay me!”
He sensed a pause in the ragged man. A slight hitch in his step. One that he covered quickly, but it was undeniably there. So, he cared for the well being of others. Perhaps Anubis could use that to end this charade. A cruel smile crept into his lips, which quickly fell into a scowl when the man spoke again.
“No soul needs your guidance, dog. Your reign is coming to an end. I intend to see it done.”
The satisfying crunch of the sand around Anubis’s spear head was the only entertainment left to him. He had been walking in silence alongside the stubborn human, stabbing the ground, counting the flies and leaping from rock to rock, for days. The most fun to be had, short lived as it was, was allowing the water from his skins to pour down his chin while the drank in full view of the husk that was once a man. He enjoyed bearing witness to the lust in his eyes and the pain in his throat. Never did it break him though, he just looked away and continued his torturous trek.
“You’re family is lost to you now,” Anubis reminded him one night, while they both shivered around a meagre fire, built of spindly shrubs and roots, “You are completely alone in the world. Even if you survive this journey to nowhere, what point is there in living the rest of your life solitary, and with nothing?”
The human continued staring into the weak flames, refusing to answer. His body was wasting away. Perhaps he had lost the ability to speak. All the better.
“Your brother would likely prefer that you died. He can rise to pharaoh freely now. It would be easier for him, I would imagine. Less painful than living with the shame of having a traitor for kin.” He continued.
“My brother, is a kinder man that your imagination credits.” The wastrel whispered through chattering teeth.
When the sun rose the following day, it bathed the sands in a blistering light. Anubis watched the advance of the glittering horizon with dread. It sped over the dunes toward them, as the fiery orb pulled higher into the sky. He was already trailing his target, who had begun his days walk in the cooler darkness. He gladly watched the peasant flinch in pain, when the cascading wall of sunshine fell over them, and the sand under foot immediately began to bake.
“By nightfall you will reach the border. If you pass into Midian, I cannot guarantee your passage to the underworld. You may be lost to those of us that reside here.” Anubis lied.
“That, would be a mercy”. He muttered.
Anubis gritted his sharp teeth. He had endured this test of his commitment long enough. Already he would need to spend an age making up for the wealth of souls he had allowed to go unescorted, while he accompanied a deluded fool in his forsaken march across the wastes. He was officially done. His patience, spent.
“You think yourself above the Gods!?” He snarled, “You think you can turn your back on Egypt and not pay the price!? You doom only yourself! And for what? You do not even know! This act of defiance is a childish tantrum because you find out your life isn’t perfect? Well, poor pampered prince! You are a fool and your suffering is for nought! You will die and your soul will be lost forever. Simply give up. Let this be over. Give us both our freedom and just DIE!”
“You do not understand.” He croaked, “I do not think you are capable of it. This is not about my life. My suffering feels insurmountable, it does, but it pales compared to that of so many others. I realise that now. This journey, it has helped me understand why I did what I did. I know, it was truly the right thing to do…despite the consequences. I do not know why I was so blind to it before.”
“I do not care about your reasons,” Anubis growled, impatient now that the man had found his voice, “only that you complete this suicide mission. If you have found your solace, then let me take your soul back to Osiris. Let us both move on.”
“I do not belong to Osiris, nor Amun-Ra. I will not be coming with you.”
“You will.” Anubis hissed, “It is only a matter of time.”
“I do not think so. I think my fate lies elsewhere.” He said. Still walking. Maddeningly stepping forward, over and over again in an endless march.
The day drew late and Anubis wished, yet again, to swing his blade and end their mutual suffering. The consequences of such an action were not worth contemplating though. Amun-Ra was quite clear on the rules. He began to fear failure. Should the man survive, the only repercussions would be lost time. Nothing more would come of it, sometimes humans defied their own bodies. His pride was what was at stake. He had bet on a result, committed to it at the expense of all else. To lose now, would be unthinkable. To let a human assume he had bested a God? Pathetic.
“How is it you are still moving?” Anubis asked, “Your feet bleed. Your skin burns. Your throat screams for moisture. Those muscles cramp in desperate hope of release. Your body fails you.” He said, hoping to highlight the pain evident behind the man's eyes.
“I do not owe you an explanation.” He said, “If you haven’t realised yet, you are no longer welcome here.”
“Yet I remain,” Anubis growled, “and you will be mine, when your suffering is complete.”
Silence reigned again. Hours passed and the sun tracked across the cloudless sky. Anubis suffered. Boredom scraped at his mind, causing a pain equal to that which assaulted his skin. The sand stung. The sun burned. His fur matted with sweat. So it took him by surprise, when the man spoke to him voluntarily.
“Do you realise that you are a slave?”
“What!?” Anubis demanded.
“You collect souls,” The human sneered, “I have been watching you. You do not seem to enjoy it. You remind me of the slaves I once looked past. Less really, just a dog playing fetch for his masters. Stuck in an endless task. Does it make it harder? To believe you are immortal and the cycle will never end?”
Anubis stopped, curling his toes into the sand and scratching at his spear handle with his claws. His lip rose and his teeth bared.
“I am a God.” He growled.
“You are a monster,” The man rebuked, “and the sun is almost set on your day in the light, dog.”
Enough. It was enough. Anubis raised his spear. The blade glinted under the harsh sun. It was time to end the ridiculous stale mate. Consequences be damned, it would be better than enduring another minute with the insufferable, stubborn, self-righteous-. A laugh on the wind swivelled one of his ears. Humans. The man heard it too, his eyes widening and breath hitching. Anubis followed his gaze. Women. And a well in the earth. His arms dropped, his spear falling limp. He had failed.
Anubis scanned the scene whilst the broken man shuffled as quickly as he could toward the water. What were the chances? How could this have come to pass? It had been a sure thing! His eyes roved, searching for a way that he could still triumph. Anubis stopped, suddenly pulling his jackal lips wide into a smile. His height allowed him to see what the others could not. More men approaching. Men with cruel souls. Content that all was not lost after all, he waited and called out to his most challenging capture to date.
“Well, it seems as though you have bested me, Moses. You will live a little longer.” He laughed, “Know that you will travel with me eventually, and I will relish your company when the time arrives.”
The ruined man paused a moment, and without looking back said,
“Your power over me is already lost, demon. You just do not know it.”
“Let us see what comes to pass, human! I would not bet against me yet!” Anubis said, trying his best not to display his glee.
Moses stumbled on, and Anubis sat down, cross-legged in the hot sand. He could wait a few a more minutes. It would be worth it, to see what came next for the fallen prince.
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
Congratulations on the win! It is well deserved :-)
Reply
Thanks Sandrine!
Reply
It’s a very well written story, James, bravo. Your bio says you’re completing your debut novel, what is it about?
Reply
Thanks B - It’s an epic fantasy, multi character viewpoint, 3rd person past tense. I hesitate to share too many details on plot, mostly because in terms of world building and concept I’ve never seen anything else quite like it. So I’m holding my cards close to my chest until is closer to being finished - which could be a long time, I’m almost at the end of a first revision, but it feels a long way left to go!
Reply
Great things take time, I suppose. Best of luck, always. I realize this isn’t the best platform to ask this question, but have you any tips on writing? Perhaps some that better helped your process/skills?
Reply
Check out Brandon Sandersons lecture series on YouTube. It’s sci-fi fantasy specific, but valuable for all genres. There’s a full 10 lecture course that’s completely free and it’s brilliant. Other than that, just write, so much gets figured out along the way. My best tip, don’t over explain, let the reader figure as much out for themselves as possible. It makes them feel part of it and so interesting all the different perspectives people come up with.
Reply
Thank you for the advice. I will be sure to check him out. What are your thoughts on sentence structure? Do you attribute that to experience and practice, or is it something you’ve learned? I ask because you have very good flow and prose.
Reply
Good story. I really liked how you highlighted the weakness of the 'god' Anubis. I would love to see how you would portray the rest of the Moses story; it's been one of my favorites since I was little. Also, I just have to ask -- have you ever seen the movie 'The Prince of Egypt'? It's a good one, and your story definitely reminded me of it.
Reply
Thanks Olive! I did see the movie recently actually and it probably had a lot of influence here!
Reply
Wow, that's a vivid story! I wonder what drew you to frame Moses’s defiance and destiny through a direct confrontation with Anubis?:)
Reply
Thanks for reading Beta, it actually was never supposed to be Moses, it was originally all about Anubis and a stubborn soul. But it fit o perfectly I had to make it him.
Reply
I enjoyed this story very much. I found it immersive from the start and I walked along with both God and human till the end. By the way, I wanted to keep reading!
Reply
Thanks Dianne, I’m glad it transported you there 😁
Reply
I was about a quarter way through the story when I knew that it was about Moses. The subtle references, the god of the Egyptians - yep! Amazing job on the speculation of what might have happened when Moses fled Egypt! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Reply
Thanks Polly, I’m glad you spotted it early! Appreciate the read and comment 😁
Reply
Congrats on the win, this was great!👌
Reply
Thankyou, I appreciate it 😁
Reply
np man
Reply
The description of Anubis' head gear screamed Egyptian(I'm not familiar with Egyptian mythology, didn't know who the god was, but suspected), the setting of the desert, calling him 'Prince', him calling back 'demon' and the destination of Midian, all spoke to me of the Exodus origin, written between the pages of Hebrew history, yet a page we never read of. A story that may of actually happened, who can refute it?! Surely, the demons of Egypt were desperate not to lose their Prince to the One True God. If there were apocrypha to supplement the Jewish cannon, we might just read of Moses denying the dog-god! Quietly, as I read on, I thought, ingenious! Congratulations, James, very well done!
Reply
Thanks Phi, I’m glad all those little hints built up and made sense by the end!
Reply
Took me til halfway through to see Moses as the suffering desert-crosser. Wonders why it was categorized as Christian. Great use of tactile imagery!
Reply
Thanks Linda! I’m glad it made sense for you before the end!
Reply
This is crazy good! You definitely deserved this win!!! I really enjoyed this.
Reply
Thanks Daisy, I’m pleased you liked it 😁
Reply
I love the Bible. I love Moses. I loved this story. As a believer, this story reminded me that we can always conquer our demons with the help of THE GOD. Truly a chill-invoking story.
Reply
Thankyou Landon, I glad this stayed true and reinforced the original lessons taught by Moses’ life
Reply
A beautiful story, James! Congratulations!
Reply
Thankyou Christina!
Reply
I really like these kinds of stories where something lurks beneath the surface, which is then revealed, almost in passing. The name Anubis was new to me, but still it was possible to understand what was going on. Always something new to learn... 😊
Nice.
Congratulations.
Reply
Thanks Totte, I’m glad the reveal and the secret identity of the man pulled you through the story!
I always knew Anubis but learned that the Egyptians gave him a jackal head, due to the local wildlife that would scavenge around the dead in that country. He held a few different jobs through the ages too!
Reply
Excellent work. The transition from the haughty air of Anubis and his eventual decision to kill Moses out of frustration lands perfectly. Anubis' frustration reads very well.
Reply
Thanks Zack, great that the evolution of his mood was clear!
Reply
Huge congratulations to you, James. This is a truly remarkable story: well-paced and with such beautiful prose. Just wonderful, and thought-provoking.
Reply
Thanks Rebecca! I appreciate all the support from someone as talented as yourself 😁
Reply
Oooh, you big smoothie 🤣 Honestly, though - it's so bloody hard to win this competition, and you really do deserve this wonderful feeling today.
Reply
Congratulations, my friend; you are an excellent writer who deserves recognition!
Reply
Thanks Keba, massively appreciate your unwavering support! You’ve been doing very well on here recently too!
Reply
Know I read this but don't see a comment from me, which is unusual. Must have been interrupted. Winner worthy. Congrats.🥳🥳
Reply
Thankyou Mary! Really appreciate your weekly support 😁
Reply
Congratulations, James! Well deserved.
Reply
Thankyou Trudy! Appreciate it!
Reply
Wonderful descriptions that put me in the desert with them. Interesting subtext in the passing of a god. Nice work.
Reply
Thanks John! Appreciate the read and the kind comments!
Reply
~~~ I shared as much as possible with Others! I loved the caked in details to elevate the conflict but felt it was over drawn in procession to the "action" of the story. As a Being of this Root of mythos I find myself aware and able to paint the vivid picture but since I read fiction very little my mind was not prepared like Anne Rice's level of description to access the road before the character. I think you are a degree below her and suggest a review of Anna Rice's flow state that allows the action to grasp the psyche inside of her several page long descriptions. I can say this is worth the winner of the contest. Top notch skill here and viable long term seller of books degree of function. Thank you for helping me ReEnter the Otherside! - Nephythus #54
Reply
Thankyou for reading and your comments Viktoria, I had to look up Anne Rice, but understand now. I loved interview with a vampire but never knew she went on to write Christian fiction. To even be compared to someone so successful is a compliment!
Reply