the ramblings of a person at night

26/07/2015

This is my anything and everything book. I’ll write about whatever I think of - whether it’s opinions, likes, dislikes, people- whenever I want to write it. The date is the only date I will have in this book.

How do people have confidence? Don’t they feel judged by everyone? Do they think others are watching them? If so how do they not want to curl up into a ball? Or hide away in shame? Hopefully I can find out

Courage is a word that describes someone who is facing their fears. Could it be trying something new? How would I tell people I’m trying it? will they judge me? Well might as well think positively. They will let me be and if I struggle to do something I am able to ask for help. Will I sound stupid if I ask for help? Will I be able to do something if it comes to it? Like journalling. This is my first time doing it and I have no idea weather or not I’m doing it right. Is there a right way to do it? but seeing I cant call some seeing it’s 11.30 at night so I can’t exactly ask anyone.

Back again with the journalling. I will admit that I struggle with thing that seems to come easy to others. Like being able to say things to others that they seem to pick up on. Body language and tone of voice. I cannot come to think why things a the way that there are. Why am I not able to pick them up? anyway being able to write about anything under the stars seems pretty reasonable to me. Was talking to my mum talking about why im so tired and I told her that I do my best work at night. Seeing I’m living on my own I can turn on lights and move stuff at night without bothering anyone. Anyway she told me to go to bed earlier but here I am journalling at 1 am in the morning and should be going to bed soon so good night and good morning.

The connection between the mind and body is important. If neither of them are tired the later you will stay up. like tonight for example my mind is not tired so I up at 12 am, my mum thinks I should go to bed earlier but if I do I will just stay awake till like twelve am. Or I’m tossing and turning all night. So might as well do something in the meantime so im not wasting the time. Like I’ve deep cleaned my living room. How often do people do that. I got all my books out of the bookcases, the book cases out of the room with the coaches and the small tables and all the storage. And I deep clean the carpet. There was so much dust and stuff that came out of it. put the storage back and cleaned them out sorted through all the stuff in there and at least 3/4s of it is going out the door. Put the book cases back and cleaned them. And I sorted through all my books. And 1/4 of them are again going out the door because either I don’t like them or they are copies. I will not be doing this if I had enough time throughout the day

People are weird man. Like how am I supposed to know when someone is meaning something different to what they say. I have told them that I’m autistic and don’t pick up on that sort of thing. Especially if I cannot confirm it’s something different. Why do they get offended if I ask? I usually ask quietly so others don’t know. And get mad that I have no clue if they were doing it. my friend Anna Thompson and I got in a fight today about it. she knows that I’m autistic and knows that if she doesn’t tell me straight on what we are talking about and then uses other phrases then it would’ve been fine. But no she didn’t. it’s the one accommodation I ask to keep doing. And if she wants me to do things I’m uncomfortable as well. She probably knows that Imma write about her just to complain. I know she does it. anyway she likes a man and told me and that is what she was talking about today but we were in public since we were working and so that was why other phrases so people don’t listen in and gossip. Like who brings up the fact they like someone as “I have a passion” like I was supposed to know what she meant. I’m impressed that she had the confidence to do it.

Streangth is funny to me

I absolutely love the Lord of the Ring. The world of Tolkien is vast and deeply thought out. Though I will say that with fans commenting on it I wouldn’t be surprised that what they’re saying could be true. Who knows. Kinda like in the hobbit films instead of being jealous of Kili, Legolas is scared that Kili will take his only friend Tauriel away. It’s a shame that we don’t see the fashion of the elves very often they world have some very pretty dresses and the music. Classical mixed with some fantasy sounds, the harp will be a key part of it I think. Then the dwarves as well their clothing and music. My question is what will studios do if they had the rights of the Silmarillion and other adjoining stories? Because I don’t think they have. And how well will they adapt the story? Will they stay faithful? Because with rings of power it’s not the best but the actors did an amazing job of acting it.

In other means I deep cleaned my kitchen/dining room. I’m impressed of how much grease and food and dust was in between my stove and the wall. As well as how much dust is collected in my cupboards and pantry and how much stuff u actually don’t use,