Chapter one
When the building came into view, it looked like a children's drawing. round windows that weren't lined up, brick walls and foundation that were painted yellow; a roof that had red tiles on them and what looked to be a chimney that was slightly curved to the left. All this was contrasted by the entrance that had a glass automatic door with metal framing around it; making the building look like it was screaming in pain. As Bob walked in the entrance, he couldn't help but compare it to going under a guillotine. He stepped into the lobby and the first thing he noticed was the receptionist, she had three eyes and a triangle mouth that extended from where her nose would have been: all the way to her cheeks. Inside her mouth were sharp jagged teeth, her skin looked like it was stretched all the way around her body, he assumed it was a “her” because of the peplum dress she was wearing, but he could be wrong, not all aliens really have a gender. He steeled himself, walked up to the desk and said, “I have an appointment for 8:30”. The receptionist looked at him then said in a slightly gurgled voice “name” Bob gulped and said, “my name is Bob Fisher; I know I'm a bit late but I'm here now” the receptionist just looked at her computer; typed a few things and then said in that same voice “ahh yes Mr. Fisher, your tardiness is no problem at all; in fact it happens all the time.” The receptionist told him to wait in one of the chairs, however as soon as he sat down, he immediately started fidgeting. To take his mind off the interview he looked around the room. The inside looked like a sterile hospital, but the distinct smell of Iodoform was replaced with nothing more than an air freshener that smelled like Rhododendron. There was a picture of a cat hanging from a branch; the cat's eyes were way too big and underneath the cat it read “dangle from branch”. The potted plants look like they were made of paper. Even the chairs looked like something you would find in a baseball stadium rather than a waiting room. After 30 minutes his name was called by a man with the same features as the receptionist. “Mr. Fisher” the man said. Again, the only reason that he assumed it was a man is because he was wearing tennis shoes, a T-shirt that said “go Meats” with a picture of a steak wearing a baseball cap, a plaid jacket, and blue jeans. Bob started to fidget again. The alien spoke in the same voice as the receptionist “don't worry Mr. Fisher I promise I'll make this as painless as possible.”
Chapter Two
Bob was led into a room that looked like it was a cross between an office and an examination room. The room had a gray carpet, with a desk on one end and an examination table on the other with enough room to maneuver comfortably between them. Behind the desk was a bookshelf that contained various books about human anatomy. On the side of the room opposite the desk were shelves that contained various medical instruments that seemed to be organized by function. The man motion for Bob to sit down in the chair in front of the desk. The man then proceeded to sit down behind the desk then grabbed a binder out of one of the drawers. The man then looks at Bob and said, “are you ready for the evaluation” Bob didn't say anything, he just nodded his head. Then the man said, “excellent, let us begin then” the man opened the binder looked at its contents and asked, “question one, what is your blood type?” Bob wiped the sweat off his brow then said, “AB negative” the man wrote something down in the binder, he said “question two, “do you currently have or have ever had any STDs of any kind? Note, we will be testing for any STD's and your honesty in this regard will reflect in your evaluation.” Bob crossed his arms, then said, “as far as I know, i don't have any STDs, however I've never actually been tested for any STDs, so I don't know what the results of the test will be.” The man merely started writing something down in the binder again then said, “your honesty is appreciated.” The man then asked, “question three” Bob spent the next hour answering various questions. At some point in the interview another one of the aliens came in to take his blood. “Final question, where would you like your payment sent?” Bob answered while maintaining eye contact and wiping the sweat off his brow, “I want the money to go towards paying for my sisters medical bills and treatments.” The alien just stared at him and then said, “very good then, we only have one more formality to get out of the way.” He then took a piece of paper from the binder and slid it towards bob from across the desk. The piece of paper had a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo in it, but basically it was a nondisclosure agreement and contract stating that he willingly forfeited both his life and body in exchange for them taking care of the people that he wanted them to take care of. If he was reading it correctly it would do more than pay the medical bills and treatments. they would give anyone he listed $10,000 a month for the rest of their lives and anything that he specifically said that they needed. If he signed this contract, his sister and mom would never have to worry about anything ever again. The Alien offered Bob a pen and said, “would you like to borrow my pen?” Bob's mouth felt like a desert; he reached for the pen with shaking hands. He went to grab the pen but dropped it because of his sweaty hands. He quickly grabbed it and said, “sorry.” The alien didn't say anything. He put the tip of the pen down where he was supposed to sign his name but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to sign it. He tried, but he couldn't get his hand to move. He crinkled his nose and then started hitting himself. He said, “come on” His hand moved a little “come on” He started writing the 1st letter of his first name “come on” he was done with his first name and moved on to the 1st letter of his last name. He then shouted, “COME ON!!!” He finished signing the contract. After the contract was signed, the alien then said, “very good Mr. Fisher, allow me to escort you back to the waiting room; we need to make certain preparations before we can continue.”
Chapter Three
Bob sat in the waiting room, feeling like he had just went a couple of rounds with a heavyweight boxer, he looked at his watch “30 minutes left.” he said. He took this time to scroll through his smartphone. He decided to go through his pictures, the first one was of both him and Macy. Mom was the one holding the camera, and Macy had cake all over her face. Bob smiled; he thought mom would be angry with him, but she just gave him the “really” look. Maya was laughing hysterically saying things like “look look I'm cake now.” Of course he brought out a second cake. What kind of monster would he be if he ruined one cake and didn’t have another? He scrolled to another photo and snorted. His mom was holding the camera again. They were at some kind of water park; the water park had a water slide that went into the pool that was safe for kids. It was a small thing compared to the one for adults. his sister was going down this water slide all day. Meanwhile, he was just on a floaty relaxing. In fact, he was relaxing so much that he didn't notice that he had floated in front of the water slide. By the time he realized this, his sister's knees were already impacting his chest. The photo in question is a photo of his sister frozen in midair, right before the impact. he started scrolling through the phone again, however, he stopped at a certain picture and frowned, it was a picture of him and Macy after Macy's first round of chemo, she was doing a strong man pose, he had two fingers behind her head. She looked so frail, like the wind could blow her away. “they're ready to receive you” the receptionist voice might as well have been the voice of the grim Reaper himself. She pointed at the door he was supposed to go through, and he shuddered, however he looked at the picture of his sister again and steeled himself. He calmly walked towards the door and opened it. there were no windows and there is only one entrance and exit; the walls ceilings and tiles on the floor were all different shades of brown and the only furnishing in the room was a metal table that was bolted to the floor that looked like it had straps for your head, feet, hands, and midsection. The table also looked like it could invert and, there was a drain under it. There was a tiny metal setup table with only two objects on it. one of them was a scalpel and the other one was what looked like a captive bolt pistol. He couldn't help but notice that there was only a forehead cushion where your head was supposed to go. There were three aliens in this room, the same one who did the interview and two more that looked like they belonged in wrestling. He figured those were insurances to make sure that he didn't try to change his mind to the last second. The alien from the interview motioned for him to lay down on the table; He laid down on his stomach, his forehead resting on the cushion. They made sure the straps were nice and tight and then inverted him to where his legs were up in the air and his head was facing the floor. He closed his eyes, took a deep shuddering breath, and waited for the inevitable. All he heard was a click before everything went black.
The interviewer cleaned the blood off the scalpel, he looked at the corpse whose name was formerly known as Bob Fisher. He looked at the blood still draining from his neck and the hole in his head, and he licked his lips and started to drool and said, “this meat will probably go to some rich family.”
The interview gave an exasperated sigh which given his triangle mouth sounded like boiling water. Then he said, “ohh well, it's time for me to get to work on Mr. Fisher's contract.”
Chapter Four
labin-nac was the host of this year's gathering, there were eight aliens with stretched skin and triangle mouths all sitting at a large dining table. He stood up from his chair and said, “everyone, we celebrate another year of prosperity.” labin-nac raised his glass and said, “here's to another year.” Everyone at the table lifted their glasses and in their gurgled speech said “cheers”. After the toast, labin-nac said “it is time for the traditional feast.” Then motioned to a server to go get the food. The aliens started drooling despite their formal attire including labin-nac. A server and a cook came out with a restaurant trolley; on top of it, was a giant serving platter with a lid. The cook bowed to the guests and with a lot of dramatic flair said “It is my honor to serve you this evening; Now, may I present to you” he lifted the lid. “Roasted Bob”.
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2 comments
Hi N,A,F.! I'm in your critique circle this week. Interesting story, but the lack of paragraphs makes it a tough read. You really gotta break those out. And mix up the way you continue the action. There are too many "then this happened, then that happened, then..." Just say what happens. Just describe. It feels like you're trying to hold the reader's hand and it's holding back the story. There's some good meat here, but it needs to be heated with a bit more care. And proofed before it's taken out of the oven. There are a lot of typos and mis...
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Writers note: I'm not sure if Agape really fits as the title, however here's my reasoning. “Agape is a Greek word for love, selflessness, sacrifice, and unconditional care for others”. and is frequently thought to be the highest form of love.
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