One Lone Rocking Chair

Upon the front porch of our present residence, there sits a lone rocking chair. This rocking chair, I purchased some years ago. When I was not rocking my rand Daughter to sleep in it, my husband would sit in it with her and sing her back to sleep. The song he most often sang to her was "What A Wonderful World", by Louie Armstrong. They were so precious to watch, together in that rocker – Granpa and granddaughter. It was only a very short time we were able to spend together then, as my husband became less able to even speak any longer – let alone to sing, due to Parkinson's Disease. And our granddaughter was taken away! 

It was a cold day in January of 2011, when they took our granddaughter to a warmer place. We had run out of heat and that was no good for our little one. The people who took her said that I had a full plate - taking care of my husband was a difficult thing, as he suffered with Parkinson's Disease. I so wanted everything to stay as it used to be, but it was just not to be! Shortly after the black car in which our granddaughter was driven away by, disappeared from our view, many tears were shed. We would later be able to visit her at times here and there. Meanwhile as my husband's illness sadly progressed, he was also taken to a special place, where he would be safer in professional care.

If I could have all of those days back again, I would change it all , by keeping my husband at home with me. I was not able though, of course, to change his destiny! It was a very short one and a half years later when I would lose him then to the heavenly realms, but not for good!

    One day in the early morning hour of a brand new day and some nine years later that is – I decided to sit upon that old rocking chair once again. Why had I not sat there for all those nine years? Because it was such a sad thing to do without my husband there with me too! On this one particular, beautiful, Sunday morning, I had decided to rock again.  

    As I walked out onto the porch, I saw that a quiet, soft, southern breeze allowed the rocker to rock on its own in a most gentle sway. "Hmmm", I wondered to myself as I set my mug of coffee down upon a table nearby. Somehow deep within, I knew of spiritual things, but had not allowed them up until then to truly sink in. I had seen angels and many other amazing things throughout my life, but on this particular day I would sense something like I had never before. Before that is, I had ever known the longest, hardest, and most difficult journey, through widowhood that could even exist. Reality can be extremely harsh at times like this!

    As I sipped my coffee, in no time at all, my grandson came toddling out onto the porch to sit with me. It was about 8:30 am., and I enjoyed his company! He hopped up onto my lap and said, " Good Morning Grandma, It's going to be a good day!" Shortly after, he hopped back down and ran off inside the house again to play. 

    I remained seated until my coffee mug went empty. I went into the house to pour a second mug and back out to rock for a bit more. It was then when I realized, there may be just this one rocking chair, but someone other than just my grandson and I had been sitting there. As I began to seat myself again, I happened to see, out of the corner of my right eye – Angel Wings – a silhouette of them that is, as they faded slowly from my view. It was at that very moment that I knew!  Robert had been sitting there with us too. I knew that it was possible, for I believe in Angels – Oh yes, for sure - I do! 

 So, the very next day I went out seeking another old rocking chair to place beside the one I already owned for all the years! For you see, I really did used to have two. Nine years before this, as I have said – I gave the other one away one day – for after my husband passed away, I had no more use of it! I, not thinking in my grief back then, that someday I would be able to have his spirit present along side of me again. 

Trying hard over these years, in the absence of my love, my husband, and my best friend - You might say that I have had much grief and difficulty filling an empty space. When I realized he was always there with me, and in his spirit form that is, my heart was warmed by the final perception of his presence, after all that time!

Grief, they say is the price of love! Sometimes during our deepest grief, is when we may be unable to feel, sense, or perceive that our loved ones are truly there with us and in our hearts to stay - yet only in a different form. This is possible for each one of us, if we just believe!

For you see, my husband knew me so very well, and I with him the same - and now with him being where he is and me here with him surrounding me with his presence - I rest much better nights than before. Since I have added the second rocking chair again, I no longer feel a need to fill an empty and lonely space. It was already filled post my realization of such amazing things!

     From now then and ever on, I will keep within my possession, the other Old Rocking Chair! Just the evening before my purchasing of that second rocker, I felt my husband's loving arms and his beautiful angel wings tenderly engulfing me!