The Red Eye Nightclub

“Did you know that I wanted to be a Broadway star?”

“Admirable Pursuit” a gritty and deep voice replies. Leila Jones turns to the owner of the voice and gives him a polite smile as she continues to monologue to the mysterious stranger.

“I have been a great performer since childhood. From faking sick days to always managing to have a lead role in every single one of my school plays” she talks more excitedly now “singing was second nature to me too! My mother was practically a siren that passed on her gifts to me, and I soared.” Leila turns fully to the man before her, and the first thing she notices is his impeccable suit, something her husband has never owned a day in his life. The club lights were dim, but that didn’t mean she couldn't make out the fine tailoring of his suit or the sparkling gold rings that decorated his deep brown slender hands. Those same hands were delicately gripping the giant jewel of the tip of his cane. Her eyes wander up his tall and lanky frame and she notices his well-kept beard and slicked down gray hair. Despite his grave voice, he had gentle features, a round face with a wide nose and full lips, at least that is what she could make out from the parts of his face that weren’t hidden in the shadows.

With a flick of a switch, Leila’s smile turns to a frown and the excitement from her voice is gone when she tells the man “When I got to college, I was in the top performance arts program in the country and with just my luck I managed to meet my now husband.” Leila sighs and looks down at the empty lower level of the night. She’s not sure how he managed to clear everyone out, but she can’t be bothered enough to ask because she’s distracted by her thoughts.

“We continued to date after college, and it wasn’t until after I announced that I was being considered for the lead role of Pursuing Whimsy, that I got pregnant” she says joylessly, “He guilt tripped me into marriage because no good ‘boyfriend” would put with how busy I was rehearsing and practicing like he would.” She feels the anger boiling in her chest as she thinks of all the times her husband has chipped away at her joy. He has never put a hand on her, but what he has done was make sure she knew to be grateful for the life he has given her. He drilled into her head that being a performer was not workable because her looks, according to him, were average at best and no one would hire or want, except for him, her once she had their first baby.

I gave that man three kids, she thinks to herself, I settled for the white picket fence and the annoying ass HOA when I could have gotten more, or better.

Leila loved her children. She loved it when they used to perform their original Mother’s Day songs for her as she ate burnt toast and crunchy eggs. She loved it when Amina was a baby, she was the first person she smiled at and when Daniel was three, he would kiss the corners of her eyes when he caught her crying in her bedroom closet. She adored the cooing noises Iris made whenever she slept, but she was truly overwhelmed. For every sweet gesture from her kids came the hundreds of fights, swearing and never-ending messes. Things she had to deal with alone for years and now that they are 15, 10, and 7, they’ve gotten worse.

Tears form in her eyes as she looks at the mysterious man again.

“My greatest performance yet is being a mother and yet no one ever seems to remember my birthday or Mother’s Day or the person who found their lucky sweater they desperately needed for their first day of school” Leila precedes weakly, “They finally didn’t need me for once and I found enough time to audition for a role in a local play. Today they told me I was told old for the part, and I can’t help but feel a hole in my chest at the time I lost being a great wife and mother to people who COULDN’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME.”

Leila looks away from the man because his kind eyes make her feel guilty for what she’s about to say next.

“I hate my husband, but what truly bothers me is that I cannot stand my children”. She puts each hand on her elbows as if to comfort herself.

“He gets all their love for doing nothing, while they hate me for raising them by myself.” She walks to the railing and sighs. “I ran away here with whatever friends I managed to keep through the years and just wished my life was different.”

“As much as I appreciate your honesty storytelling, I will need an answer” the man says plainly.

“Wait! Can I ask one more question?” she asks in desperation. He grunts in annoyance, but then slowly nods his head in approval.

“Before I decide what would they become if I stay and will I remember them?”

“Yes, you can keep your memories”, he pauses for a moment debating on answering my second question before simply saying, “Your son could find the cure for cancer.”

Leila rolls her eyes, and he gives her a sharp glare before moving along, “Your youngest daughter will follow in your footsteps and your oldest will be great at something.”

She opens her mouth to inquire further, but he stops her quickly with a question.

“Do you wish your husband did not exist; thus, your children will never be born?” His heavy footsteps walk towards me, “You will have the greatest life of your dreams, and become the star you have always desired to be.”

Before Leila can give him an answer her phone dings with a text message from her husband. The man smiles knowingly. She digs out her phone from her purse and unlocks it. She’s consumed by rage as the text reads out: Baby, how many times do I have to ask you to fix the button on my shirt, I needed it for an important meeting tonight and now I’ll have to wear that boring fit you brought me for Father’s Day.

Before Leila can even reply, his phone sends three attachments of selfies of a woman with him in his Father’s Day suit on in the background. She’s seething and when she looks up, Leila notices the man is much closer to her face reading her texts.

Without any second thoughts Leila blurts out “Do it” and before she knows it, she’s at my college graduation. She turns to her left and notices her best friend Monica that her husband had driven away a long time ago. When it’s time to receive her diploma, Leila notices that he isn’t waiting for her at the end of the stage with an engagement ring. As she returns to my seat, she asks Monica what happened to Johnathan Jones, and she watches as her friend's face contorts into confusion.

“Who?”

“Nobody” Leila smiles brightly as she realizes that the man was telling the truth. She can begin her life again and become the successful Broadway actress she so badly desired to be. This time it was going to be different; she wasn’t going to let a man berate her and making her feel less than. Leila was going to pursue her dreams, and nothing was going to stand in her way.

Leila returns to her dressing room, and she’s at once greeted by the cast and crew of Whimsy. The director congratulates her on her final performance of the show and hands her a bouquet of roses. Her Best friend and co-lead, Monica, asks her what she plans to do next, and she simply tells her she plans to rest. Leila and Monica go back to their shared apartment and after Leila takes off her the remaining make up, she plops down on her bed for some much-needed rest.

It has been five years now and Leila has done multiple successful tours, interviews and will even star in her first film role starting today. As she’s on her way to the movie lot she gets stopped by a young fan. The little girl had big bright brown eyes and beautiful brown skin. Her hair was parted into four pigtails that reminded her of how she styled her own daughters' hair. The little girl reaches out her tiny hand to give Leila a photo of a recent photoshoot with the magazine Playwright. As she signs enthusiastically, the little girl says to her “Please don’t forget to add my name!”

“Sure thing” Leila responds with a kind smile, “Who does this picture belong to?”

The girls smile widely with her front teeth missing and without missing a beat “My name's Iris.”

Leila grips her marker tighter and for a second, a lump forms in her throat. Without missing a beat, she signs the autograph quickly, gives the girl a tight hug goodbye, and rushes off into the direction of her trailer. The door closes with a slam and tears fall from her eyes. She grips the chair in front of her and looks in the mirror.

“You made the right choice, you made the right choice, you made the right choice” she repeats repeatedly until the beating of her heart slows and the tightness in her chest begins to dissipate. Clearing her children from her mind, dries her eyes as she gets ready to go on set.

“Showtime!” she exclaims as she prepares for a new chapter in her career.

Beep Beep Beep!

Leila drowsily turns off the alarm on her phone. Even though it's dangerous, she closes her eyes one more time and takes in the silence. No more rushing to prepare breakfast or starting her day mediating arguments over who snored the loudest last night. When she’s ready to greet the world again, Leila opens her eyes and checks the date on her phone. A pang of sadness washes over as she realizes it’s Mother’s Day. She gently tosses her phone to the side of her bed and heads over to the bathroom to get ready. She enjoyed the silence and her ability to go wherever she wanted without having to worry about who was going to be watching her children. Leila loved having time to hang out with her friends and not having to clean up a big mess every other day. She could eat whatever she wanted without having to worry about what to feed four other people, but she also missed them deeply. She missed it when they laughed at her cheesy jokes, she missed it when they made her songs and plays. She missed it when they would cuddle with her in bed when their father was out of town and she missed the terrible drawings they made in art class. Amina was going to start driving next year, Daniel got into an advanced since class and Iris was going to perform in her first-grade talent show. She truly missed her children and the years she has spent with them.

Leila splashes her face in the mirror trying to depuff her eyes.

“If I had known what I know now, I would've just wished for a better husband or worse, for him to be dead” she jokes. She walks back into her grand room, grabs her phone, and reads a text from her boyfriend, Nolan, that he is on his way to pick her up for their third anniversary trip. He’s an upgrade from Johnathan. He supports her confidence instead of taking away from it, he listens and takes her feelings into consideration. Nolan allows her to be her own person and not just his significant other, but is she truly ready to take their relationship to the next level? Her first and only marriage was traumatizing, and she does not know if she’s ready to ever have children again. Deep down she knows if she does, they would not be the same as three she desperately missed. Even though she enjoyed the silence she didn’t have for 15 years, the silence, at times, got too loud.

A couple of years goes by, and Leila is still stuck between happiness and dread. On one hand she is happily married to Nolan and Monica is going to be the godmother to their new baby. On the other hand, Leila is still grieving the children she knew. Taking herself out of her depressing thoughts, she walks into the hottest nightclub in town, Red Eye, she tries her best to maneuver through the swaying crowd and towards the VIP section for Monica’s bachelorette party.

Leila sits down and surveys the crowd. When her eyes look up to the second level of the club, she notices a familiar figure talking to distraught woman. The mysterious man holds her gaze and smiles, showing his pearly white teeth. When Leila asks the other guests at the party if they see what she sees, they look to her as if she had ten heads and turn back to their respective conversations. Since they don’t believe her, it's up to Leila to stop history from repeating itself. She moves as fast as her legs can carry her pregnant body. She’s determined to make sure that this woman does not make the same rash decision she did all those years ago.