To Yearn for Something that is Never Spoken

The time was upon us. We were never sure when and where it had started and surely had no idea when and where it would end.

We were lost. We felt we had outlived our usefulness, then the reality set in, and it became more apparent, we would never be allowed to speak of or know of it ever again.

We arrived in a transporter, along with others, who were sentenced to the same painful existence, yet this was not the end, which would happen later.

It was a moment in which we were looking at and like a mirrored reflection, we were only seeing the truth, for this was not a mirage, but a real reflection on what we knew.

We had fought it, had made plans to change it, had even schemed to overthrow it. We cried, we tried, we even laughed until we cried. It was upon us and before the moment had fully made itself aware to us, we felt nothing, for emotions of any kind were removed and discouraged.

We were only numbers now and only a shell of our former selves. This "new" phase of our existence was deafening, it was less of a human presence. We would see and hear yet never understand. We would touch and feel yet never wanting to go beyond this.

We had started to die, lingering midway to our final demise. We never heard words proceed from our lips, nor sounds from our throats, nor thinking thoughts, nor realizing we were no longer in control of ourselves. In that moment, we had become more robotic, more puppet like, instead of freely moving, learning, and living.

We had allowed this to happen, we had made the choices to give others full power, which led to our free fall from where we were to where we were presently.

No desire to be, no passion to be, no way of ever returning to us as we had been. We moved in unison, moved forward, and the walk grew heavier. "How could this be?" "How does one volunteering offer up that freedom, which one takes for granted?" "How does one not know before it becomes this?"

We stopped caring, stopped wanting to be free and have the freedom to be free. We never ever saw this as a danger. The signs were there, the red flags were blowing in the wind, as clear as day the people spoke, and it was ignored.

The ones who knew denied it, the ones that didn't know remained unwilling to know, and the ones who could change it, refused because they were not sure how to change it nor were willing to take that risk.

Life had become so daily basic, had become less than what most saw to find ways to keep it as it had been, yet never wanting to sound the alarm of the possible dangers associated with this.

We are in a line heading like sheep to the slaughter, we move aimlessly, we never want to rock the boat or topple to tower, for fear of bringing attention to our finding out the truth.

No matter how hard the truth is to swallow. No matter how hard it is to believe and understand the truth in a world filled with fakes or ones that lie, we must decide freely to stand up fight and defend what we want to keep, before others are using us for who knows what.

The choices are easy. The decisions are many and the answers are real and available. We resolve to be complacent; we resolve to be satisfied in all that we know even if that is not the truth.

We fear others. We fear ourselves. We fear once we learn more that we may hunger to find out the why behind the truth. We settle for the same things that never were part of the truth. We became not only our own worst enemy, but our own frenemy.

We lacked courage; we lacked willpower. We lacked desire, we lacked passion, we lacked the will to no longer be victims, lacked the will to fight for what we believe in and what we stand for.

We handed it over to those who were not for us and would never stand up for us with us. We let the blind to lead the blind, up to the cliff, right to the edge of the cliff, only to be led over the cliff falling to our deaths and those who moved out of the way laughed.

We were the ones to blame. We were the ones who made the mess and were told that we needed to leave the mess, for all to see. We were less willing to go against them and just allow them to use us and dispose of us.

We fell. We became ill. We lost our will to live longer than we had before. We then died inside, leading to our last moment, the moment the life was drained from us. We became the shell of humanity that was to be our final moment. We lost hope.

We then moved forward to a furnace, walking together, heading to the center core of heat. We lost our balance. We stumbled and screamed, falling on no one hearing. We stopped abruptly, started up suddenly and then stopped again.

No one showed anything, everything had long since been removed.

We fell and no one made us stand up again. Then the darkness set in and grew. We tried to feel our way and were not sure what to do.

Then the moment was short. We began falling, free falling, like forever. We were floating. We never knew after the free fall, the life, or the existence of life drained from us as we were motionless.

In the distance, we were just a spot in space. We had become particles in the universe. The very things that had been all but a part of who we were no longer mattered. We had become nothing.

We had removed all emotions and all feelings. All thoughts, all that had once been a part of humanity's existence. We died many times before and now we died eternally.