A Love to Last

 “There’s this guy.” He sighed as he leaned further into the couch. The doctor wrote notes and something in the way she tapped her nails caused memories to arise. He hadn’t considered him in a long time. “I haven’t seen him in years. Haven’t given him much thought honestly. I always lose a piece of me when I think of him.”

“Now, why is that?”

“Well, probably because he brought out this feral side of me. I let loose a savage side when I was around him. He never judged me. It was acceptance of who I am.”

“But we’ve talked about this, Kain. That isn’t who you are. It’s what he made of you. You’re your own person. Maybe whomever you’re speaking of saw that too.” Kain looked up and met her gaze. She had a look of pity on her face, but today she was questioning. He had finally found a topic that his doctor was curious about.

Their talks always led back to The Light, and the activities they had forced him into. The court had ordered him to seek therapy to avoid going to prison. He had done horrible things, and he knew it. He regretted doing them all, and that was what caused the judge to give him this sentence instead.

“That’s just it. Jaxon was his brother. His twin. They shared everything but me.” Kain shook his head and sat up straight on the couch. “Jaxon wouldn’t share. He kept me to himself. Everything we did was just us. Even the things that went against him. He said nothing. It’s why I had to do what I did.”

“That’s understandable, Kain. You loved him very much to make such a sacrifice. Your freedom for the rest of your life, to never see him again. Are you okay with that?” The woman rested her chin against her hand as she watched him. Kain shifting on the couch under her gaze. He hadn’t thought of Jaxon during this whole mess. For nearly two years now, he had been free of those thoughts. His only thoughts had been helping to bring down Zephyr Angel and the cult of The Light.

“I thought I was. But maybe… I don’t know.” He stood up to pace around the room. It was something he had done the first few times they had spoken, but he had stopped doing it when he had gotten comfortable with her. Now he was back to pacing. His thoughts running in circles. Jaxon, Zephyr, The Light, his sentence. Was it the right thing to do? To sacrifice the love, he had to make sure they put a madman behind bars? Was giving up on a life he so desperately wanted the best choice? Did Jaxon forget about him when he betrayed them all, even knowing Kain’s plan was to target his brother?

“You need to look within yourself and question why you’re deciding you are. These choices, Kain, you can’t take them back. If this Jaxon means this much to you, seek him out. Tell him how you feel before you lose the chance.” The therapist’s clock chimed, and she sighed, as if she was upset that the time was over. Kain hated it timed them. Sometime he wished they could talk for hours, and other times he wanted out of there before they even began. Today, he wanted to stay and talk for hours more. To let her help, him through all this madness.

He grabbed his jacket and left the room with a quiet goodbye. Paying no mind to the other patients that were waiting for their turn with the doctor, he headed for the elevator. Waiting for it to empty, he entered and hit the button for the garage. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

“Why… why did she have to make me think of him?” Silence met his question for a moment before a buzzing echoed through the elevator. He dropped his hands in a panic and looked at the buttons on the panel to see they were all flashing. An error.

“Oh, you stupid piece of trash…” Kain punched the panel, before pulling back and dropping to the ground at the back of the elevator, his heart pounding in his chest. His breathing came in quick gasps, his hands moving into his hair and pulling.

“Are you panicking on me, puppy?” The voice was soothing to his ears, and his breath sputtered in his throat as he blinked open his eyes. When had he closed them? He couldn’t remember, but he also didn’t see anyone in the elevator with him. So where did the voice come from?

“Jaxon?” His voice was shaky as he tried to get back to his feet. Nothing answered him as he looked around, using the wall for support. “It’s in my head… Of course.” He hadn’t heard voices since he was a kid. His mother saying that a horse had kicked him and that after that, he swore he heard things. “Of all the voices to hear, why does it have to be him? Is this hell?”

“Hell? Oh puppy, not even close.” A second later, the top panel of the elevator came loose and crashed down onto the floor by Kain’s feet. He looked up to see a smirking face and messy, dark hair. “Now, are you going to just sit there and pretend you aren’t super happy to see me, or are you going to jump up here and run away with me?”

Kain really didn’t need to be asked twice, as he moved without thinking. Jumping up and catching the outstretched hand that was offered to him. Pulling himself up with Jaxon’s help, and the two tumbled out onto the top of the elevator. Jaxon had a door already propped open.

“You… how did you even find me?”

“Oh puppy, I told you. I’ll always find you.” Without another word, Kain reached out with a hand and grabbed Jaxon’s shirt, and pulled him close for a kiss. Pushing all of his need, desire, and love into it. He had missed this man more than he would ever have thought possible. Sure, he had things that still needed to be worked out, but that could come later. For now, he had his Jaxon back.

And he was never letting him go again.