In Exchange

Phenex lounges on his throne of skulls, basking in the heat of the fiery lake nearby, when he hears the unmistakable shrieking whine of his fax machine.

“What in the nine hells?” he mutters. “Who faxes anymore? It’s 2023. Surely the humans have thought of more sophisticated ways to ask to make a deal…”

But no, it seems as he examines the fax machine’s output: Some mortal named Zorander Stone has buried a box at a crossroads in an attempt to summon a demon. And the call has come to Phenex, to answer or not as he sees fit.

Phenex examines the fax machine output more closely. It appears to be a standard demon summoning kit: grave dirt, bones, a photograph of Zorander Stone. No clues as to his motive or what kind of deal he might aim to strike. But searching the sulfuric ethers emanating from the lake, Phenex quickly learns all he needs to know about Zorander, and curiosity gets the better of him. Yes, he will go to the surface to make a deal with this mortal. All signs point to this soul being a prize worth taking.

Phenex snaps his claws, and in an instant he’s in the mortal realm, disguised as a human biker with a leather jacket and bootcut jeans. Moonlight and the flickering lights of a nearby diner illuminate the intersection between two gravel roads. In the middle of the intersection stands Zorander Stone. He looks perfectly ordinary from the back: Caucasian male, five foot eight inches tall, short hair, unremarkable clothes.

“Good evening,” Phenex greets the mortal as he steps out of the shadows of a yew grove near the crossroads.

Zorander turns towards Phenex, appearing completely unsurprised. His icy blue eyes are flat, emotionless, calculating. Despite his otherwise normal appearance, he reminds Phenex of a shark, and of his friends back in the nine hells.

“What do you want?” Zorander demands, looking Phenex over with disdainful impatience. “I’m waiting for someone.”

“Someone important. Because you want to make a deal,” Phenex replies, calm and suave. Ill-mannered humans don’t phase him anymore - haven’t for centuries.

Zorander’s eyes widen, and his impatience melts into a crafty smirk. “You don’t look the way I thought you would.”

Phenex smiles in return, and he allows his eyes to flash red, revealing his true nature to the human. “We prefer to keep things…clandestine.”

“Not my style.”

“Oh?”

“Kidnapping Cerberus and riding him into Hades like Hercules was my first plan, but I can’t afford the plane ticket to Greece to access that entrance. So I decided the old crossroads summoning trick would have to do. I hope you’re powerful enough to give me what I need.”

Phenex arches an eyebrow, studying the human before him. This one is arrogant, more than most he’s encountered. 

“What is it that you seek, Zorander Stone?”

The mortal chuckles and he runs a hand through his hair, staring into the demon’s eyes. “The same things you do, I think.”

“Specificity is your friend.”

Zorander steps closer to Phenex, close enough that the demon can smell booze and onion on his breath. “Death and destruction and misery for all mankind. Can you help me with that?” His eye contact is intense, unnerving even for Phenex, who has argued with Lucifer himself on more than one occasion.

“What are you offering in exchange?”

“In exchange?” Zorander laughs and steps back. “I want the same things you do and you still expect me to pay a price?”

“That is the nature of these deals. We have a timeline for the destruction and misery of all mankind. Adjustments to the timeline don’t come for free. So, mortal, I ask again: What are you offering me in exchange?”

“I don’t think you understand. After all the hell I’ve been through in this godforsaken world, the universe owes me retribution. Against Every. Single. Person. who has Ever done me wrong. Not a single living soul I’ve encountered deserves to be spared.”

Phenex chuckles. “You think this place is God-forsaken?” He plucks a yarrow blossom from beside the road. “You have…such vibrance and variety all around you. So many different options at your fingertips.”

“Not when you’ve got no money and your family’s just average. My parents, my teachers, my employers - no one has seen what I have to offer, the greatness in me. No one! And girls? Don’t even get me started on girls. I’m not some muscular Chad douchebag, so they don’t spare me so much as a second glance. Every door I’ve ever tried to open has been slammed in my face. So if they want to make my existence hell, I figure, why not bring hell to them? You can’t slam a door in my face. There are rules for demons, right? I brought you here, so now you have to make a deal with me.”

“More than happy to oblige, once you tell me what you’re offering.” Phenex is starting to wonder if Lucifer is playing a prank on him. This Zorander has a more diabolic disposition than some of the demons he’s worked with in the past.

“I’ve got nothing, you understand? Just this need to watch the world burn, to make everyone who ever hurt me suffer. You are a demon, right? This should be something you’d want to do for fun.”

“As you said, there are rules. And I’ll gladly do what you’re asking…both for fun…and your soul.”

A crafty gleam comes into Zorander’s eyes. “My soul? You think I have a soul?” He starts laughing maniacally, but his laughter cuts out and his eyes go wide as Phenex reaches out and touches his chest, then pulls his hand away, drawing a violently thrashing bruise-colored cloud along with it for a few seconds before releasing it. Zorander coughs and stumbles back, clutching his chest, as the cloud sinks back into him.

“What the hell was that?” he sputters, fear showing for the first time in his icy blue eyes.

“Your soul. Dark and twisted and violent, but very, very present.”

“Right.” Zorander pulls himself together, drawing himself to his full height as though he means to intimidate Phenex.

The demon laughs in reply. “You would summon a demon but don’t believe in souls?”

“Didn’t. I guess I stand corrected,” Zorander mutters. “We making a deal or not?”

“To be sure we’re clear on the terms. I bring a violent, torturous death to everyone who has ever wronged you in any way. By your own definition, of course. And in return…I get your soul. For all eternity.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’ll work.”

Phenex bites back a devilish grin. There’s enough dark power in the soul of Zorander Stone to put him on a level with Beelzebub himself, by his estimation. And he’ll get to try out the new torture techniques he’s been practicing on some innocent mortals. What could be more delicious?

“So…. We have a deal?” Zorander asks, as if he thinks this idea is too good to be true.

Phenex extends a hand towards Zorander again. “Once you shake on it.”

Zorander takes Phenex’s hand and shakes it, firm and eager, his eyes alight with the anticipation of vengeance. Dark energy crackles around their joined hands. Demon and mortal share a sickening smile.

“Let’s get to work.”