Goodbyes

The back window of the SUV had water streaming down obscuring Ella’s final view of her twin sister. Her face held far more streams of tears than the window had of water streams. Her soul was being violently snatched apart and half of her heart would always remain with her sister. Up until this forced separation, they had shared every moment of life together, including their time in the womb.

Though not truly old enough to understand divorce, Ella and Emmie both understood their family was irrevocably changed. No longer would the girls share a room or even live in the same house. Each parent took only one of them, never to see their sibling again. The girls would not reunite with one another. The girls wonder why this was their reality. It was a goodbye neither were prepared for this morning.

Ella was to be with her mother and she found comfort in knowing she would be well cared for with loving and supportive parent. She worried for Emmie, who was stubborn and extremely headstrong. Their father was hardly ever around and when he was it usually meant reprimands and yelling would soon follow. Ella knew how stubborn her twin could be and she feared for her sister’s safety. Daddy sometimes would hit them or their mother in frustration.

Miles away from where she left her sister, Ella could find no reprieve from the sobs racking her chest. She had never had to face the world alone. She was wholly unprepared to be away from Emmie. Emmie was the strong one even though Ella was older. What she wouldn’t give to share her sister’s strength right now. Ella could only imagine Emmie was silently brooding in the backseat of their father’s vehicle.

Ella could not make sense of what her mother was saying in her very calm and soothing voice. She tried to slow her breathing to match the cadence of her mother’s voice. Despite her belief she would never stop crying, she drew in a deep and ragged breath as her mother handed her tissues for her nose. “There’s my brave little girl,” her mother cooed.

Several minutes passed as she settled enough in order to speak. Ella had no idea what came next or where they were going. No explanations were given at the separation, just the one last time to hug her sister. Ella was still struggling with that notion that this was a permanent separation.

“Mommy, where are we going? Will I ever see Emmie again?” she finally asks. Her mother gives a vague non answer and turns up the radio playing classical music. She knows if she speaks again her mother would only increase the volume, drowning out the sound of her requests. Her mother obviously was not ready to discuss anything, the present or future plans.

The soul crushing separation was still heavy on Ella’s mind. She focused with everything she had in sending up a prayer, hope, and love to her Emmie. Ella could swear she felt a warming within her and a faint whisper of ‘I love you too sis.’ People had asked if she and her sister could feel one another’s pain or speak telepathically. Was this what that was? Could it really be Emmie?

Ella trains her vision to the varying landscapes swooshing by her window. She kept trying to reach Emmie again the same way she had before, but she felt drained. They passed open fields and thick forests and before she knew it, Ella had been lulled to sleep by the sway of the vehicle and noise from the car. It was a deep sleep brought on by the anguish she felt at the loss of her sister and perhaps her attempts to reach Emmie.

A loud horn startles her awake. Ella sat up confused. She saw the busy port and could almost taste the salt of the sea. Where they going on a boat? Ella started to ask, but quickly realized her mother was outside of the car talking to a man with a captain’s hat on. They spoke for a few moments before her mother turned to walk back towards the car.

“Come on Ella. It’s time to go.”

Ella moved as quickly as her short little legs would carry her. Although she was frightened, she tightly held her mother’s hand as they both made their way up the gangway. Her mother seemed a bit frazzled and Ella knew now was the time to ask again about their destination. She had never been on a boat this large before. Ella tried to focus on the novelty of the experience rather than her growing fear of the future.

Again, Ella intensely focused on sending her sister a message. “We’re going on a boat. I’m not sure where we are going.” Within seconds that warmth spread across her and she heard Emmie’s voice loud and clear, as if she were sitting beside her. “We are going on a plane. Not sure either on where we are headed.”

Her mother finally slowed to a causal walk as they turned a corner inside one of the boat’s interior corridors. Just a few steps later, her mother whipped out a room key that looked a lot like a credit card. Ella is ushered in with little preamble.

The open door revealed the smallest room Ella had ever seen. Although apprehensive on where they were going, she was no longing frozen with fear. She could still talk with Emmie through her mind.

This was not the last goodbye, just as it was not permanent. Ella took all the comfort from those to facts as the boat headed off into the ocean at sunset. She was curious if she'd be able to communicate with Emmie out at see and as the distance between the girls grew.

Ella made a vow that she would see her sister again. She would do anything in her power to reunite with Emmie. Ella wasn't sure how or when but they would be together again one day. Her parents could not keep them apart forever.