The Shadow Realm

The sun was so bright it looked white. George squinted up at the large, streamlined train and fished in his bag for sunglasses before pulling up his digital ticket. The inspector gave a perfunctory glance when George stepped on. 

George settled into the luxury seating and sighed. Moments later, an older woman ambled up and settled next to him. 

“Bright day,” she said. 

“Yes, quite,” he replied with a smile. 

“Every day seems to be a little brighter than the one before it,” noted the woman as she absently pushed her big bag under the seat. The light caught the gaudy babbles on the purse and flashed vibrant rainbows of color.

“Now that you mention it,” George began, “that seems true.” He leaned forward to look out the window into the brightly lit streets. “How long do you think this has been going on?”

“Every day, young man. I’ve been paying attention. Every day is a little brighter - without fail.”

George nodded. “Brighter, but oddly not hotter.”

“Nothing noticeable when you’re talking heat,” the woman agreed. “Hi, I’m Grechen,” she said. 

“George,” he said and gave her hand a firm but gentle shake. 

“It is a beautiful place to live,” Gretchen said. “I really hate to leave it.”

“It is aesthetically pleasing,” George agreed, “but what really stands out are the people. I’ve never met a kinder, more caring community.”

Gretchen was nodding. “So, why are you leaving?”

George thought for a minute before answering. “I guess I need a little adventure. Life is so good here. It’s almost too good - like,” he searched for the word, “there’s no drama. I’m itching to dig in and get back into what’s interesting.”

“Drama tends to bring strife, and that’s the greatest destroyer of peace,” Gretchen said. “You sure you’re ready for that?”

“I’m sure. I love this place - but it’s really too boring to want to live here indefinitely - for me, anyway. Visiting, though? Yes.” He nodded as if to affirm his declaration.

George glanced over at her and noticed Gretchen studying him. Her dark and graying strands were pulled back from her face in a relaxed bun, and her eyes were a warm brown that crinkled with a sort of ancient knowledge. He shifted uncomfortably.

“So, um, why are you leaving?” he asked.

“As much as I love it here, it’s also time for me to move on. I have some things I need to accomplish, and I’ve postponed it as long as I could.”

The train let out a noise to indicate it was taking off. It was such a new train, one could hardly tell it was moving.

George nodded. When she didn’t explain further, he looked out the window to admire the rich flowers and multiple shades of greens painting a masterpiece. He watched the diminishing town fade into the distance with a sigh. Part of him regretted leaving. It truly was the most beautiful and calming place he’d ever been. 

Gretchen pulled out a journal and began to write. George leaned his head back and relaxed to the sound of her scratching on the paper. It wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep.

It felt like hours later when George awakened. The train was empty, sitting at a station with its doors open. He assumed it was dusk as only shades of gray light filtered into the car.  

How odd, he thought to himself. You’d think someone would have let me know it was time to get off.  

George stood and stretched. He looked around and saw that the train was truly abandoned. His brows went up when he noted that not one person remained. There was no attendant and not even a conductor. The train was parked and the door was open as if beckoning him to exit. 

George shrugged and stepped off. Briefly, he thought of Gretchen and wondered if this was where she ended up as well. 

The city he stepped into was very busy. Tall buildings crowded the streets, and hordes of people teamed everywhere. 

George didn’t pay them much attention at first because he was intrigued with the lighting difference between the two locations. This place was vastly different from the town he’d come from: it was equally as dark as the other had been bright. 

The sun hung lower in the sky as if it were late afternoon. With effort, it pushed down a smokey and dingy light. George watched as the weak haze seemed to snake along his skin before dissipating in a dramatic, sizzling show.

The trees appeared to be in shadow and were varying shades of dark gray to black. As George glanced around, he suddenly noted the absence of color; everything was muted grays and blacks. 

Where the heck am I? he wondered. 

He turned his attention to the people. They also seemed to be muted shades of gray. Most walked quickly, as if on a mission, with their heads down. Many were staring at technology: phones, watches, and other gadgets. They appeared totally oblivious to anything going on around them.

George stepped into the swarm. 

“Um, excuse me,” George said to a man directly to his left. The man never looked up from his phone and charged by. 

A woman brushed past him, and he felt her close proximity. She appeared to look directly at him but never said a word as she pushed onwards. 

This town is full of rude people, George thought. Everyone is so into themselves, they aren’t even aware that there is more to life than their phones or self-interest.

“Alright, Gretchen,” he said aloud. “I’m rethinking my decision to leave the City of Light.”

Not one person looked at him although he spoke out loud. 

It’s like they don’t even know I’m here, George thought. 

A bench of medium gray captured his attention. A woman was sitting on it, lost in her thoughts. He felt oddly drawn to her, so he approached.

“May I join you?” he asked. 

Her eyes were glazed over, as if deeply immersed in another world. George shrugged internally and sat beside her. He noticed a very subtle glow radiating from her stomach. 

When he looked around, he didn’t notice this on any other person in the near vicinity. 

A bit of time passed before the woman stood and walked toward an apartment complex. George followed. She didn’t appear to notice or care, and he couldn’t explain the magnetism she was generating. It interested him more than a little. 

When she unlocked her door and entered the domain, George found himself inside the room as well although he didn’t quite remember walking through the portal. 

She went to the refrigerator and pulled out the makings for a salad, grilled cheese, and soup. 

Soon the doorknob jingled and a man of medium height and build came in. He sat a case of beer on the counter and removed one before placing the rest in the fridge. Then he sat at the table and watched the woman’s food preparation. Neither person seemed aware of George’s presence.

“Soup and grilled cheese again?” he asked.

“That’s all we can afford,” she replied, glancing at the bottle in his hand. 

Immediately, the man’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared.

“Are you making a dig at me again, woman? Just because I’m between jobs doesn’t mean I ain’t looking.”

“No, of course not. It might be helpful though if you could refrain from buying so much beer. That money could go to buying groceries instead.”

He stood up suddenly and took a few giant strides until he was looming over her. His fists were balled, and his breath hissed between his teeth.

“Look, Ricky. I’m not trying to start anything,” she said, holding her hands up in surrender.

“Then shut your damn mouth, Jenn!”

He slammed the beer down on the counter very close to her, and she jumped. Then he snatched it up again, drained it, and threw the empty container dramatically in the trash before getting another. He sat sulkily at the table and glared at her as she milled around the kitchen. 

George stood back silently and watched the goings on. Somehow he felt he’d been injected into a black and white television show and subconsciously, he knew there was nothing he could do but observe. 

Later that night, the couple settled in the living room. Ricky was on one side of the couch while Jenn was on the other. He turned on the television.

Jenn stood and said, “Ricky, I’m really tired. I’m going to bed.”

“Not until all the dishes are dried and put up,” he said without looking at her. 

“Look. I’m too tired, Ricky,” she paused, then her shoulders dropped. “I’m pregnant.”

The man’s eyes widened, and then he broke into a grin. He put down the beer he’d been nursing and drew her into his arms. He swung her around and then kissed her. 

“Now that’s the best news I’ve heard in some time, Jenn. Wow! I’m going to be a daddy! To celebrate, I won’t make you do the dishes tonight, but tomorrow, I think you should get in the habit of putting up the dishes before you relax.”

She nodded and went into the bedroom. She shut the door quietly behind her and turned a lamp on low.

George automatically followed her. He watched as she curled into the fetal position on the edge of the bed and cried herself to sleep. Her hands were nestled on her lower abdomen, and she whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

A swirling vortex of light began to pulse above her hands. As George watched, it grew and spun faster, increasing in light until it was the brightest thing in the room. Then it began to stretch towards him. George could not escape. The light engulfed and electrified him. When George looked down, he saw a thin, silvery strand attached to him and was connected to Jenn’s vortex of light. He reached to touch it, but his hand seemed to pass through it.

Suddenly, Gretchen was there. He straightened then smiled in relief. 

“Gretchen,” he said breathlessly, "Thank God. Can you tell me what’s going on?” 

“Come with me,” was all she said. 

Gretchen took his hand. A white mist filled the room and the next thing he knew, George was sitting at a table in the woods with the elder.

He looked around in wonder. Wide-eyed, he turned back to Gretchen. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but speech would not come.

“I know you’re confused,” Gretchen began. “I’m here to help. I have been assigned to you, so I will help you as much as you want.” She paused to let him absorb. “Do you remember that huge game you were a part of back in the City of Light?”

George finally found his voice, “Um, y - yes. I don’t remember the name of it, but it was a fun game where we got to make our own pretend lives, and we each played a role.”

“Yes. Each of you had a set of skills, strengths, and weaknesses.”

“It was so fun. We got to pick whether we were the hero or the villain. It was neat pretending we were someone entirely different from who we essentially are.”

“Right.”

They didn’t speak for a while. Finally, George said, “But what does all that have to do with this?” he gestured to the table and the woods.

Gretchen smiled gently. “Nothing. I brought you here because it’s soothing.”

George merely stared at her.

Gretchen began, “That game? It’s your life plan. Those friends you played with? They’re part of your soul family - those who you’ve made a pact with. You were all mapping out what characters you want to experience.”

“You’re not making any sense.” George leaned back in his chair.

“Remember when you said that you were bored? You needed drama in your life?”

“Of course.”

“You said The City of Light was so beautiful and peaceful - everyone was so calm and caring - but it was a bit too mundane for your taste.”

“Yes, I want more excitement, but I don’t want to watch a woman being abused for entertainment. I mean, what is that place? It’s so ugly. All grays and blacks. No one seems to care about anybody but themselves.”

“George, if you haven’t figured it out yet, you're from a different reality - one of higher vibration or light. Our dimension is where only peace and love exists, and everyone cohabitates. We’ve overcome all negativity and fear. Sometimes, we forget what it's like to live with.”

“Don’t we want to forget that?” George asked. 

“Not when you wish for drama,” Gretchen reminded gently.

“Why is it so drab here?” George asked. “I mean, not here in this forest, but in that place where Ricky and Jenn are?”

“That is the Realm of Fear and Trauma. That’s the dimension we choose to go into if we want to experience what we are not.”

“Why would anyone want to do that?” asked George.

“George, you might ask yourself that question. Think about it a bit.”

George folded his hands together and placed them on the back of his head. He looked up as he contemplated. 

“I’m going to guess that the real experience is more… educational than viewing it,” George said. 

Gretchen was smiling. “Yes. We understand on a deeper level if we live it rather than if we merely observe.”

“Whoa. Wait a second,” George said. “Are you saying, I’m going to be a boxer?”

She nodded. “That’s the role you assigned yourself.”

“What does Ricky and Jenn have to do with this?”

“They’re going to be your parents.”

“But why? Ricky is an abusive alcoholic.”

“He’s going to teach you pain tolerance and the anger you’ll need to be a winning fighter.”

“But what you’re describing is hell.”

Gretchen laughed. “You’re right. The funny thing is that Earthlings think hell is a place to go after their life. They don’t realize they're actually in hell, now. They think that they’re truly alive during their stay on Earth - and they are - but they don’t realize that the physical form they inhabit is not who they truly are.”

“So, I’m not going to remember who I really am, am I?” George asked. “I mean when I assume a physical body.”

“Nope. The door will be open to this dimension in your early years - until everyone tells you you’re seeing make-believe friends. Your door in particular will close sooner than many.”

“But how will I remember what I chose to be? Like what if I want to be an artist?”

“You’ll have natural skills and interests in the areas you chose over here, but of course, you won’t remember. There is a chance you’ll choose an entirely different path.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing bad. It just means you’ll be spending more time completing your goals than others. Doors on an alternate path won't open as easily, and you may get to ‘start over’ more than your friends. Think of it as once you get all the points, you complete the game.”

“Wow. Interesting. So I’m currently a ghost, and that gray world is where people are ‘alive’?”

“In their definition of the word, yes.”

“Will everything be so gray when I begin?” George asked. 

“You won’t remember the brilliance of this realm,” Gretchen said. “Everything will appear to have color once the veil is in place.”

“Veil?”

“Yes. The Veil of Forgetfulness. Life on Earth is not a game. It’s very real, but the character you’ll become is not the true essence of who you really are. You will think it is, though. Anytime you need help, all you have to do is ask, and one of your assigned helpers will drop clues for you.”

“What if I don’t ask? I mean, how will I know to - if I can’t remember?”

“Unfortunately, the rules are that I cannot help unless you ask for it, but there will be reminders to help you realize that those who ask for help will be given it.”

George nodded distractedly. “So I’ve chosen to be an angry boxer born to a passive mother and a drunk abusive father?”

“And you’ll probably choose to drink as well,” Gretchen said. “It seems easy to change your life path over here, but it’s much different when you actually experience it and don’t remember this side. It’ll be a lot to overcome before you once again value serenity.”

“What if I’m alone? That character I designed was fun as a game, but as a person - maybe I’ll never find love or happiness. That life seems so," he searched for a word, "lonely.” 

“People will come and go as you work out your connections, but you’ll never be alone. You can feel me and other helpers in your heart if you can open it. And those feelings you’ll have are part of what you wanted to experience. We don’t have feelings of lack over here. You’ll need to experience lack to value Truth once again - and not be bored.”

George nodded again in understanding.

“Good luck. It’s time to return, now.”

“Wait,” George pleaded.

The hospital room was very bright when Jenn pushed her child into the world. The baby screeched in terror when he realized where he was. If one listened closely, it almost sounded as if the baby was wailing, “Gretchen!”

“He’s beautiful,” Jenn cooed. “What a handsome baby boy.”

“He is a looker,” Ricky agreed, leaning over to peer more closely at the baby. 

“Welcome to the world,” Jenn said, placing a kiss on the infant’s forehead. She looked up at Rickey. “Can you believe it? We gave him life.”

“We did good, babe. What do you think about the name… George?”

“It’s absolutely perfect,” she agreed.