The last request...

AUTHOR'S NOTE - TRIGGER WARNING - Please be advised that the following piece of fiction contains references of violence towards child/young person(s) as well as references to mental illness.

Sender: Mr S. Marchison (Death Row Inmate No. 995684)

Florida State Prison

Raiford, Florida.

Recipient: Mr R. Marchison

Cedar Oaks Drive,

Jacksonville, Florida.

Date: 22^nd September 2024

Dearest Robert,

You would have received the official notice from FSP regarding my ‘D’ Day being the 24^th, which is this coming Tuesday. It has been a very long 17 years, and I am relieved that the day has finally arrived. I only wish that it could have come sooner, but, as they say, ‘these things take time’.

I do not know if you have read my earlier cards and notes. Perhaps not, but, in the vain hope that you will extend a little pity on me and decide to read what you know will be my final words to you, I want to tell you... I have missed you... so very much… and I love you deeply. 

I only have the image of you as an 8-year-old boy, but I try to imagine the evolution into your 25-year-old self. Perhaps you look a little like me? If so, I pray that you retain more hair than I did, and that your ears look more like your mother’s than mine!

My final thoughts will be of you and your own family, who, though I will never meet, I pray will bring you the greatest joy and peace. I was delighted to hear about the birth of your baby girl this summer, a lovely little sister for Bobby. I do hope Bobby is getting through the ‘terrible twos’, ok? I imagine that he looks like you at the same age, you were such a beautiful little boy.

Your mum would be so very proud and happy for you. She always wanted to be a mother and then later a grandmother. She doted on you... do you remember? I am so sorry that she is unable to share in your life... I am so sorry for taking her away from you.

Your little sister would have been almost 19 now. You may have wondered over the years whether or not she suffered that night. I want to assure you that she did not suffer at all. She was fast asleep in her crib at the time, and it was over in an instant, I should know, being there. She never made a sound, just slipped straight into permanent sleep. I wonder if my new granddaughter looks anything like her?

I cannot begin to explain what occurred that night and as such, I shall not try, but please understand that severe, mental health issues can arise suddenly, at any age, and can be a terrible, terrible curse on one’s soul. Please remain ever mindful and vigilant of your own wellbeing and seek help at any sign of distress. Your aunt Tess will always be there for you.

Lastly, I ask for your forgiveness. Please forgive me, if not for me, then for your own sake. Please do not carry hatred in your heart. Forgive me, then forget about me, that is best. But, please remember your mum, as the beautiful, warm, kind-hearted woman who adored you.

Please know that both your mum and I loved you more than life itself. 

Love

Dad

Sender: Mr S. Marchison (Death Row Inmate No. 995684)

Florida State Prison

Raiford, Florida.

Recipient: Hospital Administrator – Bill Paxley

Florida State Hospital for the Insane,

Chattahoochee, Florida.

Date: 22^nd September 2024

Dear Bill,

You would have received the official notice from FSP regarding my Execution Date being the 24^th of this month, this coming Tuesday.

Firstly, I wanted to thank you and your staff for the excellent care that my beloved wife, Rose, has received at your facility these past 17 years, since the ‘episode’. The monthly updates from you have kept me going whilst in here.

I pray for a continued life of serenity for her and that she never regains sufficient capacity to recall that night or remember the devastating action she took.

I will always remember Rose as the fresh faced, funny and sweet 15-year-old, that I met in English class and fell in love with. Our life until that night, had been practically perfect. Mental illness forced my angel into a situation that she should never have been in.   Having her ‘sectioned’, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, besides burying my little girl. 

Again, thank you Bill for your help and support in arranging matters at that time.

Secondly, Bill, I know that you have never agreed with how I decided to handle things. You must understand that I believe that I did the best thing possible for both my darling Rose, and my son. I couldn’t bear for her to be vilified due to a terrible disease that was eating at the core of our family, nor could I allow her to lose the love of her son. That would have devastated me. 

And for me? I couldn’t have looked at my boy every day and know that I didn’t do enough to save his sister, that I didn’t react fast enough when Rose picked up that hammer…. I could have stopped it Bill. I could have stopped it all... I have never been able to forgive myself.

Robert’s understanding of the events of that night remain unchanged and as far as he is aware, the culprit will no longer exist after Tuesday. This is for the best. I will go to my final rest in peace, knowing that Robert has created a life of his dreams, and that my wife will continue to be well cared for.

Finally, I have made financial provision for Rose’s continued care. My lawyer, Mr. A Brookfield from ‘Halls, Brookfield & Brown’, will be in contact with you late next week, to discuss the applicable details of the provision from my estate. 

Well, I guess that’s it. Thanks again Bill for everything! You have been the most genuine friend a guy could’ve wish for. Your regular visits and updates have made life in here worth enduring, and I will also take that last walk on Tuesday, knowing that you never did beat my single season touchdown PR at UNF!

Warmest Regards

Steve

Sender: Mr S. Marchison (Death Row Inmate No. 995684)

Florida State Prison

Raiford, Florida.

Recipient: Ms T Marchison

Cedar Oaks Drive,

Jacksonville, Florida.

Date: 22^nd September 2024

My Dearest Sister,

As you will be aware, the day has finally arrived. In 48hrs, this nightmare will finally be at an end for me. I know that’s selfish, and I know that ultimately, I am the lucky one.

Words cannot express the immense gratitude and love I feel for you dearest Tess, for taking in my boy. 

To watch a child physically grow into a man, but remain looking at the world through the eyes of a child… I simply cannot fathom. 

I have been reflecting on your concerns regarding his newer delusions of being a father. I agree that he needs to urgently have his medications re-assessed. I am concerned, they are fragments of his memories returning, which he can’t quite piece together correctly. 

In case these develop further, I have included a letter from me to him, which I leave in your care. Should the time ever arise, where his memories/delusions are causing him to start questioning his early years, please give him my letter, or read it to him, as needed. I hope that I have said enough within it, to provide a degree of closure for him. I know that I can trust you to stand by my words.

We can never comprehend what caused him to take to his sister that night with a knife, but I cannot believe, for one moment, that as an 8-year-old, he had any true understanding of what he was doing. 

Bill has suggested that it may have been an early emergence of a personality disorder, but that it would now be impossible to properly diagnose, with the extent of his brain injury.

Rose’s care will continue to be covered from my estate. I pray she never recovers enough to remember what she saw that night or the action she was forced to take to try to stop Robert.

Please rest easy knowing that both you and Robert will continue to be looked after financially. My lawyer, Mr. A Brookfield from ‘Halls, Brookfield & Brown’, will be in contact with you, late next week.

I thought I was being a Hero Tess... now, as I look at myself, I see only a coward. I took the option that allowed me to withdraw from the situation… a situation that I just couldn’t even begin to face. I beg your forgiveness, Tess. In trying to protect my son and my wife, I placed a burden on you that was not yours to carry and for that, I, again, humbly beg your forgiveness.

Forever, your loving brother

Stephen