At the intersection, I could go right and head home — but turning left would take me...

At the intersection, I could go right and head home - but turning left would take me to a place of no return. The tickets for the plane were in my right back pant pocket, my passport was in my handbag.

It would take one second to make a different decision. Once second to choose going home over leaving a country, a continent, a so-called home.

I think: "Whatever, goodbye to all the people who are not helping. I love this land, and I love the culture but the hate of my family has taken its toll on me."

“Boarding starts in 5 minutes.” The voice over the speaker sounded muffled. I am aggravated because I am still tired, well, I am hung over from the night prior. It is only six a clock in the morning. I am still in Austria, and I am waiting to board a plane to Los Angles. My friends are sitting right across from me. We made the decision to run away from home. Our Parents did not know that we planned on never coming back.

The constant arguments with my abusive mother amongst other family and social factors have finally taken its toll. I am done. Finished. I am out. Goodbye to all the abuse and neglect from my family, parents, grandparents and half siblings. There was nothing I had to say and do. There was nothing left to overcome or pardon. We had nothing to talk about.

My mother is not taking responsibility for her abusive behavior. She always makes everything about herself.

I'm waiting for the boarding announcement. With the passage of time, my irritation has increased. I walk over to a couple and ask if they would give me a sip of their vodka. The guy reaches into his canvas bag and pulls out a bottle of grey goose. He then reaches down to pull out the cups. “You look stressed,” he says and smiles. “Are you going on vacation to LA? You better cheer up.” All the while he is pouring vodka into the cup. “Want some chaser?” he asks. I look at him and without a smile say: “No. Straight will do. I am not going on vacation. I am leaving and I am not coming back.”

The guy gasps. He glances at his girlfriend, then at me. “What? You are leaving Austria? That’s crazy and you will regret it.” I take a look at him and turn around. I then glance back and state: "No, I will not. It may be challenging, but I shall not regret it." If I stay here, I may regret it. I turn and walk away.

I look over my shoulder. He shakes his head opens his eyes and mumbles: “Just be a lil’ nice, dude. What is eating you right now. Need a bump or what?” I stare at the guys and say in a low voice: “Shhhhhh what the fuck are you talking so loud for? Want to be arrested before take-off. Just shut up, get up and let’s board. I want to get out of here and I want to do it now!”

He completely ignores me and shouts at the girl next to him on the seat: “Get up, get up, wake up wohoooooo,” looks back at me and keeps going: “Chicky wants to board the plane now and she is on my last nerve telling me what to do. If she keeps going like that Imma stay her, we stay here.”

The girl who is sleeping wakes up, shakes her head and looks up at him: “Idiot, shut up want to get us arrested,” she snarls at him. Stands up and takes my hand and walks with me to gate one. The guy is following us now, quietly, and seems confused. He looks like a deer in headlights.

We are boarding the plane without further incident and take our seats. I order Vodka for myself and the others when the stewardess comes around. Then another glass then another glass and thrift off to sleep.

“Hey, who have we here?” the voice behind me is shouting. The club is dark, and the music is loud, Way too loud. I am walking toward a door, exiting through it to the stairwell. I am walking down a spiral staircase. It’s dark and I have to feel my way downstairs. I see an exit sign in red letters right in front of me. I open the door, push it so hard that it flies open hitting the wall, and feel the cold air on my face.

It is snowing outside. I go and sit down on the sidewalk, ignoring that my pants get wet and dirty. The guy is right behind me. He walks up alongside where I took a seat and says:” Get up its cold and you are getting soaked. You will catch an awful cold.”

I look up at the guy and see his face. It’s the face of my dead grandfather. I feel confused and begin crying. The guy pulls me up and when I turn around, he is gone.

“Please fasten your seatbelts ladies and gentlemen we are landing in shortly.”

Tears stream down my cheeks as the voice confuses me. I am thinking: “I hear its cold, and I could get sick and then fasten your seatbelt.” I open my eyes and still confused ask: “Where am I. I am so confused.”

The stewardess walks up to my seat and answers: “We are landing in Los Angeles shortly. You are on your way to Hollywood. Visiting your friends from Austria who live there. Oh, and your friend Amanda. I think you had a little too much to drink. Here is a cup of coffee.”

I fasten my seatbelt and sip the coffee. The stewardess smiles at me and says: “It's all good you will be fine.”

I look out the plane window and see the ocean and some lights in the distance. “We are approaching land,” I think to myself. My friend and his girl look back from the seat in front of me. He is speaking, but I am unable to comprehend his message clearly. I only here: “wha wha wha.” I turn my head back to the window again and think about the dream. It is obvious to me that my grandfather had a message for me.

Now I am realizing that I am far, far, away from home. Far away from Austria on another continent. I put the cup down in the holder. It’s empty. Then I lean back in my seat. Here I see my grandfather again. This time I speak: “Opa, I miss you and I suffered so much. I had to leave. Granny will be soon with you and I was not able to help her. She never listens. I told her not to let my dad, and his wife move to the house. They are both bad people.”

I see my grandfather’s face and hear him say, “It’s ok, just take care of yourself. Remember that one more time is not a good thing. Do not repeat anything one more time.”

I feel a thumb. The plane just landed in Los Angeles. I hear people laugh and clap their hands.”

I look out the plane window and see the people and buildings. Deep inside myself I feel anxious. It took a second to realize that I was utterly and completely lost.

Of course, I would never admit that. So, I say: “Oh well, what the hell, I am going to do this. It’s ugly here, but it’s better to be in an ugly place, than around ugly people. This was the way out.

My friends and now get up from our seats and in line to get off the plane. I know that this is a chance, my only chance of a peaceful life. I also know that my dream was a message. I am moving forward. I walk a few steps and suddenly it feels like I am back in my dream. I turn around, look back at my seat and say: “That’s it, it's an ugly place but I can do it. Bye now, Bye to you all and up to a new and true adventure.”

I think: "I might be completely lost. But isn't the gift of desperation what gets us to move forward in life and take the risks we usually would not take?"