Below the Surface

“Why are you doing this? Who even are you?!” She sputtered as she flung her arms forward, just barely stopping him from reaching her; her legs chaotically kicking out beneath her, unsuccessfully keeping her afloat.

“I’m who you trust here, Callie.”

“Look, Gavin -” Her head bobbed dangerously close to the surface and her eyes bulged.

“Stop squirming or you’ll drown us both.” He kicked himself immediately when her eyes widened again. It was fear. But why, or what, was she so afraid of?

Their eyes locked and in an instant, he knew something had happened to her. Probably in the water. Probably bad. And she’d never told him. Why would she? It’s not like they were friends really, or dating for that matter. Not that he wanted to date her. He wouldn’t not want to date her, but that would be weird. Wouldn’t it?

“Put your feet down.”

In her panic, she hadn’t realized he had carefully gripped her forearms and had inched closer to her.

“What?” The word came out breathless as her focus began to drift for a different reason altogether.

“Stretch out your legs, Cal. Touch the bottom.”

She obeyed and a slow realization donned on her – he had casually moved them towards the shallow end of the pool. He still held onto her, now pressing his palms to her shoulders as she stood and regained her balance and her composure.

His hands slid down her arms and he squeezed gently, desperately wanting to make her laugh, see her smile, anything but the pained expression that was now etched in his mind when she thought she was going under. He’d never let that happen – why did she think he would?

“Do we need start from the beginning? Maybe, go back to holding –”

“I know how to hold my breath underwater, jackass,” she snapped. It earned him a scowl and he smirked in return.

“Wipe that look off your face,” she waved her hand in front of him and rolled her eyes. Rather than the smile that almost cracked, Callie glanced down and looked through the water between them. She could look at anything but his face right now. She knew he wasn’t going to like what she said next.

Still staring down, she forced out the question, “Can – can we just be done? Can we get out now?”

It took a moment for him to process before he responded, “What kind of teacher would I be if I let us end like that on day one?” Her gaze flicked back up to him and she parted her lips about to protest – he was sure of it. “You were treading water in the deep end and you were doing well, until – until you weren’t. I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you, but I should have showed you this first,” he reassured her.

“Come here,” he beckoned to her.

“Gavin, I –”

“Just come here, please. Please.” It was almost like he was pleading with her and maybe it took her by surprise how seriously he was taking this, but she stepped toward him. She knew him. She knew he had her. But she couldn’t help the memories flashing in her mind.

Her fists clenched in response and she tensed, just a little. Enough for him to notice. He brushed it off, but he couldn’t deny the curiosity in him wondering again.

“Callie,” he positioned himself perpendicular to her and pressed his arm into her back. “Do you feel my arm?” She nodded. “Lean back into it.”

As he slowly lowered his arm, bringing her closer to the surface, he watched her face for any sign of discomfort. “Lift your legs.”

She whipped her head towards him with her brows furrowed, but he caught the confusion in stride. “Can I touch your legs?” She nodded again, the faintest shadow of colour rising up her neck.

“Float,” his voice rasped, instantly he cleared his throat to erase the moment. “We’re going to get you to float. Not only is it relaxing, but it’s also an incredible tactic if you’re too tired to swim. You just flip onto your back and breathe until you’re ready to try again.”

They drifted in slow circles while he instructed her on the proper techniques – how to hold her body, how to breathe, how to settle and trust not just him, but herself too.

“You can let go now,” she whispered, her eyes closed, lulled into almost a sense of peace by his words and the movements.

He replied with a simple “okay.” He wasn’t about to tell her that he’d let go long before then. “I’m right here if you need me.”

The smile he had been waiting for, longing for, flitted across her lips – finally. He had no idea how much time had passed before she relaxed her body and moved to stand up again. He was mesmerized by her.

“Are you okay?” He kept his distance but asked to make sure she felt safe.

She nodded. Her lips parted as if she was going to say more. He waited.

“Yes. I – I’ve,” she exhaled. “I really liked that. I’ve never felt like that in the water before. Thank you, Gavin,” she looked up at him. “Thank you.” This time, though, her eyes watered and he was in front of her in a flash, but still he was quiet.

She searched his face for any sort of cockiness or dishonesty but found none. In that moment, he wasn’t just her brother’s best friend, he was her friend too. She wouldn’t tell him everything, but she could start.

“A long time ago,” her words finally forming. “A long time ago, someone I loved, someone I trusted, really tried to hurt me in the water,” her voice tapered off. “It was different than now, obviously, and I thought I had it under control. I didn’t expect my memories to try to take me out like that.” There was no stopping the words now. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, Gavin. I’m sorry I panicked and,” she sniffled, “I’m really happy you’re the one teaching me how to swim.”

“Hey – hey, look at me.” One hand reached for her chin, tilting it upward, the other grasped her hand, intertwining their fingers. “I figured something had happened, but didn’t want to pry. You can tell me whatever you want to tell me, whenever you feel ready. And I really don’t want you apologizing for something you can’t control.”

She hesitated for a split second before nodding in agreement. The tears that were threatening to spill retreated and, without thinking, she leaned into him and let herself breathe.

They unraveled from one another and he held her shoulders, separating them only a little. “We will do this at your pace. And I should’ve been more aware. I am glad it isn’t me you have a problem with, but I should’ve asked –”

“I wouldn’t have told you. But, after that,” she motioned to the deep end, “and after this,” she motioned between them, “we will talk about it. I felt like I was flying, like I was free, and I want to feel that again. This is my new thing and I was silly to think it would be easy, but I’m trying.”

He nodded like he understood. “Not silly, just hopeful.”

Her stomach grumbled, interrupting the moment and quashing whatever he might’ve been about to say.

Gavin chuckled while Callie clutched her stomach, her lips pursed. “How about we dry off and go get some food, Cal?” He moved to the edge of the pool and lifted himself up. “You’re not the only one who’s hungry, you’re just the only one who felt the need to announce it,” he scoffed.

She rolled her eyes at his back, watching the water droplets roll down his athletic frame. The ease with which he hauled himself out of the pool made her mouth water with a different type of hunger.

Gavin cleared his throat, tumbling her out of her thoughts, obviously catching her staring.

“Yeah – yeah, whatever,” she exclaimed and made her way to the stairs. She was all over the place right now, she thought. She needed food, her therapist, maybe a nap, and she’d be back to normal – right? Right. Or at least that’s what she convinced herself.