I Am a 60-Year Old Ballet Doctor

I Am a 60-Year Old Ballerina Doctor

March 03, 2016, was that fateful day when I started taking classical ballet lessons. I was a 51 year old medical doctor, specializing in Internal Medicine, in active, full time clinic and hospital practice and yet, driving home from work that day, I happened to glance and see the sign for Acts Manila Ballet School, took a photo of it, and called the number. To my surprise, the director herself, Teacher Chelo Gemina, answered. That first conversation was pivotal as it set in motion my journey into ballet. Little did I know what awesome things were in store for me. The school director invited me to free trial classes the very next day. Saturday morning classes are usually at 9-10 a.m.: Primary Level, for 5 to 7 year olds and 10-11 a.m.: Preparatory Level, for 6-10 year olds. She advised me not to be, I do not remember what word she used, awkward, uncomfortable or in my Generation X( born 1965!) jargon ‘OP’ or out of place. Perhaps I was so giddy with excitement, I immediately took what she offered just so I could already start class.

On the eve of the start of my new life, I rummaged through my cabinet and found pink ballet flats, sometimes called ballet slippers, and tights and a black generic long-sleeved leotard, bought some time ago just because, well, one never knows when you might need a tiara or a feather boa or even ballet attire. I have to confess, I buy clothes, shoes, costumes, accessories, just in case any of my daughters, (tongue in cheek) might need them. We all wear the same size 6 shoes, enjoy the same cute girly stuff and all love playing dress up so I never feel guilty about buying for myself.

I woke up the next day like a kid going to Saturday morning play school, with joy in my heart. Oh, to wake up each morning like this, I wish everyone could experience such a beautiful feeling and start each day with “joie de vivre”. Wearing sneakers and a long dress as cover up for my pink tights and black leotards underneath and carrying my ballet flats in a Hello Kitty pouch and matching water jug, I drove to my first ballet class.

I actually felt the spring in my step markedly diminish the moment I entered the big studio. I was literally, “the elephant in the room”. The studio had 8-10 little girls running around in red sleeveless leotards. I introduced myself to Teacher Johanna who was, understandably, confused at first to be talking to a 51 year old doctor who was going to be her student, and not a ballet mom. But, she was very accommodating and I felt a trifle bit out of place than when I first walked in. Two hours of class went by quickly even though I was, and may I say this as the understatement of the year, so utterly mega major to the max confused! My feet and my brain were so uncoordinated, like they were separate entities moving on their own. I once saw on National Geographic Channel, newborn calves learning to walk and their legs were flailing all over the place. And though the calves were so adorable in all their awkward clumsiness, , I did not feel, and am so definitely sure, I did not look cute at all.But, surprisingly, amidst the bewilderment, I must have experienced a “glimmer”, which psychologist Deb Dana, in her 2018 book, “The Polyvagal Theory” describes as a moment of connection and joy. Joyce Marter, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor or LCPC stated “a glimmer symbolizes small moments of joy that can bring light to even the darkest days. Oh, but please do not get me wrong, My first day in ballet class was not one of my darkest days and believe me, I have had my share of those but then again, that is another story to tell. It is just that I was so dumbfounded and flabbergasted, and yet, I was rewarded with a glimmer which is said to have a significant impact on one’s mental and emotional well-being. If something gives you glimmers, a small but profound spark, then it is definitely worth pursuing.

Was ballet a childhood dream? Surprisingly, no. My sisters and I had taken ballet as children, I must have been 7 years old back then, would that have been Preparatory Level 1, under the tutelage of the late Mrs. Grace Bangaoet in her dance studio at a local college campus. Back in the day, it was customary for parents to enroll their children in extracurricular activities, hence all 4 of us siblings took piano, guitar and dance lessons. We did one recital, dancing in pink, yellow and blue tutus to Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker Ballet by Pyotr Ilych Tchaikovsky and that was it, we all stopped taking classes. Ballet did not become a passion because it was not the right time.

Years later, I would experience ballet again through my daughters’ classes. Niña and Liya took classical ballet and jazz lessons from Teacher Venus and I loved being a dance mom! Back then, moms were allowed to watch classes to the point, pun not intended, that we actually learned the steps and combinations. I would practice my daughters at home and ably, or so, I hope, give them the steps and corrections I would hear from their teachers. Of course, practicing my daughters would entail me to do the steps properly. It was recital season when they started and I found the circus-themed practices,costume fittings and pictorials- with Niña, as a juggler and Liya, a clown- so hectic yet exciting. We would come home happy but oh so tired and sleepy yet I loved every moment of it! There was even a fleeting thought that maybe I could teach ballet, but I brushed it off, thinking it was an impossible dream? I imagined myself as a ballet teacher but never a ballet student? How can I teach if I was never a student? Was I given a glimpse into my future or was I just waiting for the “right time”? “When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen”. Isaiah 60:22

From 1994-2015, I was a full time mom, driver, personal assistant and part-time doctor. My husband provided for us financially, while I nurtured our family. As my children grew and left for university, I faced an unfamiliar emptiness, realizing my days as a “school bus mom “ were over. Truth be told, I felt sad that my children no longer needed me and I had so much time. With newfound free time, I resumed my medical practice and eventually landed a job as a company physician. And, it was that day on my way home from work that I pointed my foot into ballet. Initially, I managed to balance my ballet classes and clinic hours. But as my love for ballet blossomed, I found myself adjusting my schedule around class times. It is not easy because I am a “no work, no pay” doctor and Manila’s notorious traffic is an additional challenge. Most days, I would grab a quick, more often than not, unhealthy lunch, drink my Okinawa milk tea, power nap, all done in my car, before ballet. Social invitations, Rotary Club meetings,friends meet ups or medical product presentations during dinner, began to take a back seat to my ballet schedule, with MWF classes at 5:30-7 p.m. becoming my non-negotiable priority. Some friends, colleagues, even relatives, could not understand, but I absolutely did!

Time management has been my saving grace, allowing me to fulfill my roles as a doctor and a ballet dancer. Missing even one class means going back to step one. But when I am consistent, ballet rewards me with progress and I can execute the steps with more ease. Muscle memory is the secret and one can only do this by, as Teacher Chelo told me on my very first day, “Just be faithful, Doctora.” Those words became my guiding principle. Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step,” while Mother Teresa advised, “Do small things with great love.” For me, ballet embodies both teachings. The flexibility of my medical career has been an immense blessing and the harmony I have found between ballet and medicine feels nothing short of a gift. Since starting ballet at 51, I have advanced to pointe shoes at 53. I never imagined I could dance en pointe and was both elated and terrified. I often rush to class from the clinic, doing little to no warm-up, which draws gentle reprimands from my teachers. Yet, no words can capture how fulfilling it is to be a doctor and a ballet dancer. Ballet and medicine are both strict and precise disciplines, demanding dedication like jealous lovers. But as the French say, “there is no true love without jealousy.

In June 2019, I fractured the metatarsal bone on my left foot while on pointe shoes. The injury did not just break my foot, it broke my heart. I feared I would never dance again and my orthopedic surgeon shared this concern, warning me of the risks, especially given my age and weight. I spent eight months in an AirCast boot, enduring words of caution from well-meaning people who believed my 57-year-old body could not handle the demands of ballet. Ballet, after fter all, is an art with little room for error, being very technical and unyielding. When the boot finally came off, I was discouraged to hear I could not yet return to ballet. I waited, taking my doctor’s advice seriously. If I were to dance again, I wanted to minimize the risk of reinjury, knowing recovery could be even more difficult the second time.I embraced healthy habits- monitoring my weight, eating well, hydrating, prioritizing sleep and living a balanced lifestyle. Just as I was beginning to reintroduce ballet back into my life, COVID hit and the world shut down on March 13, 2020. I took ballet classes online intermittently and in February 2022, my teacher Jan, asked if I wanted to compete in an online ballet competition- a chance, even in my wildest dreams, I never thought was possible.

Even during the COVID-19 pandemic, when everything seemed uncertain, I was reminded of my blessings. Not only was my family safe, but I unexpectedly earned a bronze medal and five awards in a modern ballet competition in 2022. Among them was the Grit Award, honoring my perseverance through the difficulties of online classes and connectivity challenges. Very ably coached by Teacher Blanche, I competed the same modern ballet piece, “You Make me Feel so Young”,in the Youth Performing Arts Championship or YPAC in Malaysia when I was 57 years old, garnering a Bronze trophy. I never dreamed of competing because there are very few contests that allow my age group so I am very grateful to Teacher Jan for believing in me. My second modern ballet piece was “Speak Softly Love”, the love theme from “The Godfather”. I was very hesitant, unsure if I could convey the song’s deep emotions. You Make Me Feel So Young was light and happy, a stark contrast, but my coach, Teacher Blanche, believed I can. We have to step out of our comfort zone so we can flourish and honor God's gift to me. Quoting Hans Urs Von Balthazar's: What you are is God’s gift to you and what you become is your gift to God.To God be the Glory! I hope HE is pleased with me, I won Gold Trophy and a recognition award for inspiring the youth last June 2024 at the Youth Educational Friendship Festival or YEFF in Da Nang, Vietnam.

Last March 26, 2025, I turned 60 years old and I celebrated my Diamond Jubilee with me dancing “Speak Softly Love” as my opening number and closing with “You Make me feel so Young to end the wonderful dinner party. As of this writing, I am currently in training to compete in May 3 and 4, 2025 in YPAC, this time in my country, Manila, Philippines. My modern ballet piece is “Ain't no Mountain high Enough” and I hope I will be able to convey my message through dance that just like the season, Spring, it is never too late to start something new. I started ballet when I was 51 years old and now, I am a 60 year old ballet doctor.