Burden of the Council

“So, would the Rosegrands like to make their opening statement?”

“Yes, your majesty. We of the Rosegrand Party believe war to be a non-issue. We mustn’t engage in needless situations.”

“Bullshit! They have their soldiers in our colonies, it is all our right!”

“Sir Harver, the Rosegrands are speaking. Your party will be allowed their time when they finish. Please do not interrupt.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Continue on, Deres.”

“Thank you, your majesty. The point being, this ‘aggression’ by Telitir is nothing more than a misunderstanding and overreaction. They’ve been peaceful for twenty years, I’m sure their lust for war has long passed.”

“But they have soldiers in our colonies.”

“I understand your majesty, but they were trying to find the bandits that raided one of their towns. I think it is fair to assume their scouting unit was caught up in the moment and accidentally walked into our territory.”

“Perhaps so, but I can’t find reasoning for them staying on our land. If it was truly the situation you say it was, wouldn’t they have contacted us by now?”

“We haven’t properly formed our colony borders, not to mention our architecture is incredibly similar. It would be hard for them to realize they encroached upon our land.”

“I suppose you speak the truth. Perhaps diplomatic negotiations can resolve this issue. But what about you, House Sworlock? I understand you have a different opinion you wish to communicate?”

“Yes, my king. We believe the situation to be an act of aggression and a threat of invasion. Diplomacy is gone in their eyes, so we must respond with a swift attack on their southern border, effective immediately.”

“And what provokes this belief within your party?”

“The Tellitins have been our rivals for centuries. It is in their blood to attack us because they are jealous by nature and barbaric in resolution. They know nothing but war, for they are blinded by the false vision that they are to own the entire continent. It is in their culture to attack and conquer, so we must take affirmative action on this matter.

“So you believe this ‘bandit hunt’ of theirs is the beginning of their invasion of us?”

“Precisely, your majesty, which is why we must mobilize the army and attack as quickly as possible. The quicker we threaten their cities, the quicker we end this conflict and keep our glorious Heplana free from Tellitin wrath.”

“Well, I must say, both arguments are fair, but we must make a decision by the end of today on this dilemma. I now open the floor to both houses to discuss their issues with each other’s plan. At 6:00PM, we hold the final vote, or whenever you all feel an agreement can be made, and whichever decision wins will be what we go forward with.”

“We understand your majesty, but what if no decision is made by then?”

“The senate has been created so that every decision can be voted upon; never has there been a tie. But, if by some miracle a tie does happen here, I shall decide what to do, and I lean towards diplomacy and peace. Now, if that is all, you have three hours until lunch.”

“Well, I for one believe House Rosegrand to be a bunch of cowards.”

“Oh, put a sock in it, Harver! We’re supposed to just engage in war every time a foreign misunderstanding happens?”

“My dear Deres, I respect your calmness and charisma, but you are quite a fool in the political realm. There is no misunderstanding here; these people are the bane of the world, the devil of humanity. This is a clear plan by them to invade and break us, enslave our men and domesticate our women, and brainwash our children into believing their sinful culture. I do not believe the lord makes mistakes, but I do feel he has a sense of regret for creating the Tellitins.”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH”

“Ah, Lady Aphene, I had almost forgotten you were in attendance. I’m actually shocked you made it here, considering the allegations and whatnot. I’m sure you never meant any harm, but I know it must be difficult to be crucified in the media for your little affair.”

“Respectfully, Harver, I’d ask you to refrain from those topics. All I want is to serve my country by doing what’s right for the people.”

“And were you thinking these exact thoughts when you slept with that Tellitin merchant for months? Now that I think about it, it makes sense why you’d react that way to my comments. I’d be hurt too if my man’s culture was being demonized and belittled.”

“Oh, how sometimes I wish your mother had left you in that lake to drown.”

“Ok, ok, let’s not get too aggressive now. We still have to debate each other and make a decision. I mean, this could affect the future generations, so it’s best we stay calm about things.”

“Forgive my dear, I just can’t let this imitation of a man criticize an innocent culture.”

“It’s ok, Aphene, let’s just try to be civil and calm about everything. We’re all Heplins after all, we are family no matter what.”

“If I may, I’d like to speak on the matter.”

“Yes, Solih, what’s your take?”

“I think we should just hold an emergency meeting with the Tellitins. After all, we failed to properly identify our colonies, which were right on their border. Some of the blame falls on us. However, I do believe we should mobilize some of our troops, just on the off chance.”

“And how many do you think we mobilize?”

“Perhaps 20-30K.”

“Damnit, little guy, I almost liked you for a second, but then you say such a small number. Small numbers make me sad; small numbers don't get results. I’d say about 80K at the minimum.”

“And I bet you want us to send General McJerick to lead them as well?”

“Yes, of course. How did you read my mind? Maybe I like you after all.”

“That’s just not happening.”

“Deres, come on, man, grow some balls, you’re always so passive. I’d bet you’d let a man piss on your leg and claim it’s ok cause he was drunk.”

“I’m not being passive, I’m just cautious and trying to make sense of the situation. Sending our best general to the border of a foreign country we’re in negotiations with is not wise.”

“You gotta start strong if you win. Can’t send some random nobodies to battle, then we’re fighting from behind and have to be perfect the rest of the war. But considering not a single one of your house members has gone to military school, I’m not so surprised at this ignorance.”

“I assume we’re not going with my idea then?”

“Uncertain, my dear. It’s a good idea, but we shall see what other ideas are floated around.”

“Honestly, Deres, you treat these people like kids. These are grown men and women, politicians for Christ’s sake. You don’t need to baby them.”

“It’s how we treat each other, respect and dignity. I don’t berate my members until they agree with everything I say, like you do.”

“Oh, so now we’re using false allegations?”

“False? You’ve been suspended from conferences three times in the last year for racial attacks on your own members. Not to mention you treat anyone outside the upper class like they’re worthless and a disgrace to humanity. Not everyone can be born into riches like you were.”

“Get your money, not your funny up Deres. All these allegations are humorous; the fact that you have to accuse me of such things to feel better than me or try to win an argument against me.”

“No? I brought them up because you have no room to criticise how I treat my members. And as for winning an argument, we can debate 1 on 1, and this whole council knows how that would end.”

“If you’re so confident, then debate me right now. Me vs you on whether we go to war or not. Come on, step up, little man. Or must I get your brother to prop you up?”

“Deres, please don’t.”

“No Aphene, our fellow Harver has been too comfortable on his high horse, it’s time for someone to knock him off. Give me your best shot, since all you know is war.”

“I simply understand the business of politics. I can tell when someone is snaking, and Telitir wants war. The bandit hunt is merely a prologue to their incoming wrath. I’m trying to save you, save this country, but you’re content with sitting idle and letting the villains win.”

“I’m not sitting idle; I want to negotiate. We can solve this peacefully with no bullets being fired. Our soldiers should not have to perish for misunderstandings.”

“That’s what they’re there for, to die for us. They die for the people, that’s their purpose. They’re a sacrifice for the greater good.”

“Do you even hear yourself? Is this just a normal sentence for you? You’re despicable.”

“It’s the business of politics, little man.”

“Politicians work for the good of the people, no matter who they are!”

“And the good of the people is to declare war and let the soldiers handle the situation.”

“Then we waste resources and lives. I’d rather wait until diplomacy is dead before a single soldier dies.”

“Diplomacy is dead, my friend. It’s been dead for centuries. We have never been friends with them. Why start now?”

“We’re not friends with them, but we’re preventing a war from happening. Last time we fought, nearly five million people died.”

“Maybe we need ten million to establish generational dominance.”

“ARE YOU INSANE?”

“The current generation must bleed so that their children can prosper.”

“You’re actually a tyrant.”

“And you’re a coward.”

“We’re not going to war, and that’s final.”

“My house is nearly twice the size of yours, and has won the popularity vote of the country. It would seem the vote would swing in our favor.”

“Yet the last five have fallen into the hands of the Roses. I guess you can talk the talk but can’t walk the walk.”

“You talk like you’ve seen the battlefield before. What have you done except be cooped up in your little room, preaching purity and virtue to ‘cleanse the masses’?”

“I’ve spoken to the people, listened to the people, and helped the people. You care not for the people but their pockets. All you think of is money. If I were to look up the term ‘corrupt politician’, I would find a picture of you.”

“And if I were to find a picture of a feminine man, it would show every man in your house. Now we’re invading Telitir, and that’s final. Call the king in, we’re holding the vote.”

“Now hold on a sec-”

“THEY KILLED THEM! THEY KILLED THEM!”

“Ostyr, my friend, must you come in with such a ruckus? Take a breath and speak to us calmly.”

“My apologies, Sir Deres, but really, this news can not be professionally presented. Those bastards killed our men?”

“What?”

“The Tellitin soldiers, who held our colony under investigation, killed our people. 20 of them, out in the open, just gunned them down, along with some officers.”

“But I thought they were looking for bandits?”

“It was a set-up, they set us up. The bandits were fake, the entire operation was fake.”

“I…they…this can’t be.”

“Well, well, well, what a world we live in, eh?”

“Not now, Harver, now is not the time to act immature.”

“Not being immature, I just want my props. Didn’t I say the bandit hunt was a hoax? Did I not warn you all of this? And now look, 20 people dead and a colony in distress.”

“Ok, fine, you were right. I just…I thought they had changed. I thought we could trust them.”

“Dear my dearest of opponents, it is not possible for a Tellitin to change their ways. They are naturally evil, naturally aggressive; that is the nature of their culture. We cannot change them, we can only defeat them.”

“I guess. I hate that I have to say this, but I agree with you in this instance. Ostyr, have you told the king?”

“I need to gather all the documents first detailing the situation, but I was going to tell him at lunch.”

“Call him now, we have a decision to make.”

“So you’ve finally come around to war, eh? So proud of you!”

“This isn’t the time for your victory lap.”

“Ah, well, it will come in time. Perhaps I will celebrate with an extra serving of pork chops and corn tonight.”

“Good taste, beloved Harver, now why is that you’ve all summoned me? I suppose you are ready to vote.”

“Yes, your majesty, but I wish to let House Rosegrand announce the vote.”

“Very well then. Deres, what is the vote of your house?”

“Your majesty, the villain has struck again, and we’ve lost twenty good Heplans. We’ve been tricked and hoaxed into believing something that never was.”

“Twenty…of my people…murdered?”

“Yes, your majesty. I hate to tell you this, but it is true. The bandit hunt was a trap for us to allow them into our colony for just long enough to kill some of our officers and innocent citizens. They’re likely holding the colony hostage as we have no proper military unit down there.”

“I see…so how has your house voted on this matter?”

“My king, we as the council have decided to come together and unanimously agree to pursue a declaration of war and sever all diplomatic relations with Telitir. We are united together in this decision, and would hope you grant permission to execute this order.”

“So it’s unanimous? Well, I see no surprise there, and no reason to veto. I grant the council full permission to pursue a military campaign, and to officially announce the country in war mode.”

“Harver, as you are the most experienced of the military here, would you be willing to step up and lead us through the campaign?”

“My dear Deres, I dreamed of the day you would say such words. I now show you my talents and smarts. No need to fear when you sleep, for the war will be swift and decisive, and Telitir will be under our thumbs for generations to come.”

“So be it. Sir Harver will be recognized as Secretary of War and will have command of the military discussions until the end of the war. And with that, the meeting adjourned, and we let us feast for lunch. Hail to Heplana, Honor to Heplana!”