Anywhere

Addy groaned when she felt her watch buzz on her wrist. An alert of an hour passed, meaning that it was now three in the morning. She turned over yet again and tried to force herself to sleep. It worked as well as it had the last three hours. The previous day's events pushed themselves into her mind. Every little thing. The ache in her chest got deeper every hour. Everything hurts worse at night.

She had just started to drift when a ding coming from her nightstand made her aware that she still wasn't asleep. She resisted it, knowing that no notification would be helpful in her current endeavor. Another ding, this one unmistakably a text message, broke her resolve. Only so many reasons someone would text at this hour, none of them good. She wouldn't be getting to sleep now, but this was probably important. Keeping as much of her body under the duvet as possible, she swiped her phone from the nightstand, shivering as the cold air of the hotel room met her arm. Harsh blue light lit her face, another ding of a text. She hesitated, thumb moving back and forth between her email and messages, a red dot on each. It landed on messages, she figured the texts were the contexts to whatever was in the email and should be read first. All thoughts of sleep left her mind for good as she read and reread the two short messages like a mantra. 

_

A tired robotic sounding voice announced a slew of numbers, gates and information over the airport intercom. The last of which was the terrible news that Sage' flight was delayed and would be leaving three hours later than scheduled. Sage gritted her teeth, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her free hand, the other firmly gripped around her suitcase handle. She sank down into the uncomfortable chair and sent out a few messages to the people in Nashville who expected her hours before she'd be there. She briefly worried about the response from a few of them, but all seasoned travelers themselves, even the coldest of the executives, simply offered their condolences, telling her to be safe and get there when she could. 

Well, she thought, three hours to burn, off to the nearest coffee shop. A quick internet search resulted in the necessity for a long walk. She very much resented the fact that of all the restaurants within the airport there was only one lousy Starbucks. It was cloudy and chilly outside, just after a morning rainstorm she must have missed from within the airport. A few friendly strangers passed her and one had a fluffy white dog she stopped to pet and overall she enjoyed the twenty minute walk well enough.

The coffee shop was just as delightful as it looked on Google. Cozy, mom and pop, hole-in-the-wall kind of place. After acquiring a warm drink and breakfast bagel, she sat at a corner table with her laptop, content to do nothing of importance for a while. About half an hour had passed, the bagel gone and the drink halfway there, when something caught her attention and her relatively average day took a sharp turn. A laugh. A laugh she'd know anywhere. She spotted the source of the sound at the register, the barista must have said something funny. Sage knew it would be better to just stay in the corner where she wouldn't be seen. She told herself to let it go. She told herself nothing good would come of what she was about to do. But she also thought, as her feet hit the floor and the chair skidded loudly behind her, what are the odds? It had to mean something...right? She had meant to speak first but Addy beat her to it. 

 "Sage! What on earth are you doing here?" Addy said as she turned from the barista and almost ran into Sage. Addy looked excited. Genuinely happy to see her. Maybe the water under the bridge dried up over the past few years, she thought. 

"I could ask you the same!" She said. She hoped her voice and face held the same simple enthusiasm. 

"Well I asked you first." Addy said with that same old teasing smile. "Let's catch up, where are you sitting?" 

Sage nodded her head towards the little table and they settled in. Addy had her drink and breakfast burrito and Sage was down to the last few sips of her drink, it made it a little awkward. Oh who was she kidding? It was extremely awkward but the food and lack thereof was the least of it. Addy didn't seem to feel awkward, if she did she hid it well. It was almost just like old times. Almost. 

"So how is it possible I had the fortune of running into you here of all places? What are you up to?" Addy asked again. 

Sage sipped the last bit of her drink before she bagan. 

"I'm actually just here to catch a plane. Flight got delayed, I was supposed to be out of here already."

"Where are you flying to?" 

"Nashville. I have a few important meetings with some bigwigs from the label. While I'm at the studio we're gonna record some tracks and write a few more. Then I'm off to New York for a residency."

"Wow, sounds like you've been doing pretty well for yourself. I'm happy for you." For the first time Addys eyes held a hint of something other than happiness. Sage could feel it reflect in her own.

"Yeah, yeah I guess I have." After an uncomfortable silent she thought of something else to say. "And you? What are you doing in Denver?" 

"Believe it or not I'm actually here to catch a plane." Addy laughed. 

"I don't believe it." 

"Yeah I was planning to fly out of Dallas to LA but there were cancellations and reroutes and I ended up here. My flight leaves in about an hour or so, if they're on schedule." 

"They won't be. I'm on a three hour layover myself."

"Ah so you came to get breakfast."

"And you did as well."

"Great minds think alike."

Sage hummed a surprisingly painful agreement. They always had the best ideas and adventures together. Well, no matter. Too much has happened and they're flying in opposite directions.

"What's in LA? And shouldn't you be at the airport like...now?"

"Probably. I had planned to get something to-go but then you showed up out of nowhere. If I miss my flight it's on you." Addy pointed the last of her burrito at Sage in mock accusation. "LA is a job I hope to get and a town home i hope to close on. Most importantly, the beach. The beach is in LA." 

"Good. I know you've always wanted to live by a beach. What's the job?"

"Head editor at this fancy publishing company. Good money, good benefits." Addy shrugged.

"Editor huh? You wanted to be an author." 

"I did. I do. I'm still writing and I still will be but...this pays the bills." 

"I understand."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, though a much more comfortable one. Sage yet again knew she shouldn't, knew what the answer would be and how much it would hurt, but she couldn't stop herself

"My offer still stands, y'know?"

Addy smiled, her eyes falling to her laced fingers as she nodded slightly. 

"I know. I appreciate that, I do, but..." Addy shook her head as if trying to dislodge a thought from it. "You know." She said softly.

"I do."

"You seem to be doing just fine without me anyway." 

Sage hummed through pursed lips, trying to come up with a response that was both truthful and didn't damage her pride too much. 

"You seem to be doing just fine." Addy said again.

"Yeah I guess so. You do too. I hope you get everything you want." Sage' voice broke just slightly on that last word. They stared at each other for a long time. Addy finally breaking the silence.

"Me too."

Sage didn't miss the double meaning in that. She cleared her throat and tried to lighten the mood.

"So, assuming you get the job and the house, which I'm sure you will, what then?"

"Well...try to do my job...buy furniture. Life...I guess." Addy shrugged again. "What about you? Nashville, then New York, then what? How long is your residency?"

"Two months."

"Performing the latest album?"

"Yeah."

"Then what? Where to then?"

"I actually don't know. Anywhere."

"Anywhere? Lot of options."

"And yet not many, somehow." Sage said almost bitterly. The following silence made Sage think the conversation was coming to an end, which made her relieved and deeply sad in a way she didn't want to inspect. Addy started to gather her things when she abruptly stopped and asked a sharp question.

"Are you happy?" 

Sage didn't expect that and as much as she didn't want to lie, she was caught off guard and the default came to her mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, I mean as much as anyone. Can't complain, I got it better than most. Are you? Happy that is?"

"No. No actually I'm not but I'm hoping to be. That's why I'm making this move."

Before Sage could answer, Addys phone buzzed, evidently a time alert to get back to the airport. She smiled but her eyebrows met as she checked her phone. 

"I gotta go."

"Yeah I figured."

"Well um...have fun in New York. I'll watch a clip on YouTube or something."

"Thanks. You have fun on the beach."

Addy mumbled a choked thanks, grabbed her things, threw away her used cup and headed for the door. Sage felt like she might be sick watching her just walk away like that. There was so much she wanted to say. She called after her. 

"Addy! I...well...if you ever need anything don't hesitate to reach out. I still have your number." Sage cringed at her own words. Not what she meant to say. 

"Oh. Thanks. Same for you."

"Thanks. And you'll be in LA for some time then?"

"Yeah." Addy leaned against the door but didn't quite leave.

"And you'll be? After New York I mean."

Sage shook her head, she felt dizzy. "Anywhere."

And just like that Addy was out the door and gone. Sage looked over her laptop, thinking she should get back to the airport herself but wanting to wait long enough to make sure they didn't run into each other again. 

For the rest of the morning she was so lost in thought that she jolted in when she felt herself drop into her plane seat. She wasn't quite sure how she got there. The flight attendants did their usual announcements. Sage alerted the Nashville team that she was on her way and ever so breifing debated texting Addy. She went as far as writing a message, unfortunately a horribly awkward message that she quickly deleted. A few more attempts, still bad. Nothing she said sounded appropriate to the situation. But then that's what happens in a situation that is so odd. When two people go from knowing everything about each other to being almost perfect strangers but for the betrayal of their eyes. Strangers don't look at each other like that. Not like they've lost their best friend. Because strangers weren't ever best friends and best friends can never really be strangers. Each message was too casual and simultaneously too much and eventually she gave up, turning off her phone and gazing out the window. She spent the entirety of the flight watching the world go by. Cities and states. Houses and businesses. People and families. Insignificant little ants from such a height, but each with a story just as complicated as hers. The people on the plane with her were the same. All going to the same city but all for different reasons. She wondered if any of them were wondering if their reasons were worth it. If any of them were flying away from something or someone. Something like a fist wrapped itself around her diaphragm at the thought. For several hours it stayed like that. 

It only let up a bit when the plane landed. It almost completely evaporated when she got to the inner city. Nashville still held its normal sense of music magic, though she couldn't enjoy it as long as she would've liked. She rushed to the studio where the last part of her day was filled to the brim with handshakes, meetings and a slow creeping of anxiety. By the time she got to her hotel, the anxiety had split and turned into rage and...grief? Grief. Despair, even. 

The hotel door slammed on its own, which irritated her because she wanted to slam it. She decided her suitcase would have to do. One thing led to another and in less than five minutes her suitcase was dented, the breakable things inside most definitely broken. A lamp she'd probably have to pay for was broken, and she found herself hyperventilating in the bathroom. She alternated watching her face go red in the mirror and looking at her phone as she turned it over in her hand. Eventually she threw it a bit to roughly to the counter and opted for a shower. The scathing hot water didn't do as much good as she would've liked. It was almost ten by the time she had calmed down, cleaned up after her temper tantrum and ate something resembling dinner. She laid in bed, listening to the mindless sound of the TV. She never had it on at home but always felt the need for background noise while traveling. She wasn't intending to go to sleep so early, but the day had done its best to exhaust her and by eleven she slipped into a light and fitful sleep. Plagued by odd dreams of Addy and eating breakfast on a turbulent plane. Then of an uncanny version of New York  city, completely empty of people with buildings that seemed to swell and shrink like they were breathing. An occasional beach view showing up out of nowhere. All of it backed with the distant soundtrack of the Food Network coming from the TV in the real world. When it all blended together in a way that turned the uncanny into something fully nightmarish, she forced herself awake. She found herself cold and sweaty, tangled in the sheets as if she had tried to strangle herself. It was just after midnight. Her phone buzzed at the foot of the bed. She ignored it and instead went and washed her face with cool water. When she returned, she saw two more messages and a name she hadn't seen on her phone in a long time. Addy. Three texts from Addy. The first one  rambling about how she didn't believe in coincidence and life taking them in different directions and a short attempt at how she felt. The second one simply said she was sorry and didn't know what to say. Sage half expected all of this and had planned not to respond for both of their sakes, but the third text caught her attention. A link. After a moment of consideration, she clicked it and was met with a Spotify playlist. It was created that day, untitled, and contained only one song. It was twelve thirty. It was ten thirty for Addy. Knowing her, she'd be in bed, actually should be asleep already, but Addy was awake, texting her. Which meant she was lying awake about her. Sage cringed and clicked on the song. Four minutes later, she was on the floor with her legs to her chest and her back to the bed, fighting back tears. She didn't know what to say, but she had to say something. Oh this was all so wrong. Why were they having this conversation from thirty away? Why was she flying even further away in two days? Because everything she had said and implied that morning was true. But something else was too. It was almost Five when she had made a plan and composed an answer. A text that was easy and an email that terrified her. She pursed her lips and sent the email, she always preferred to do the hard things first. She took a deep breath. No going back now. Then she typed out a text and hit send before she had time to talk herself out of it. 

*Sorry this took me so long. I didn't know how. Check your email box.*

Then, right before she stuffed her phone under her pillow for fear of the response, she sent one more sentence. 

*This is what I meant to say.* 

_

On the fourth pass over the messages Addy understood what the words said. She checked her email box with a bit of hesitation. Whatever was within it was definitely a response to the song, and evidently what Sage had meant to say at the coffee shop. She took a deep breath, which slightly hurt after the crying she'd done earlier that day, and opened the most recent email, forwarded from her friend. An American airlines logo popped up, a thank you message underneath it.

Something squeezed in her heart as she scrolled down, suspecting what she was about to see. She was right. At the bottom of the email was a QR code and a description. She clicked on it and felt her jaw drop. 

A plane ticket. An open, worldwide ticket. A plane ticket to use at any time, to any destination. There was tiny text underneath it, which she could barely see through her blur in her eyes. It was a gift message from Sage. She dabbed her eyes with the duvet and read.

"So you can join me when I get to Anywhere."