You Never Answered

Dear Annabel Lee, 

Thank you for responding to my inquiry. As I said, I found you on social media and sent you a note to ask if that Annabel Lee was the same person I knew. I had sent a similar message occasionally when I encountered your name ever since there was social media.

It took so many years for you to answer my pleas. Decades. Six of them. So much lost. You never answered. I was 17. You were 16, seven months younger. Sixty years ago, when you turned your face to the sun, the shadows fell behind you. You won my soul. I missed you when I blinked. Anytime I saw your face light up with joy, you gave me pleasure and warmth, knowing I was the one who put that look on your face — and the love in those gorgeous eyes.

I loved seeing you happy. You were special to me in every way. Many times I have mentioned your eyes. Poets say the eyes are the window to the soul, and yours were. I saw more than a seductive light spill from those eyes. I saw the love of your soul when you looked at me. It made me feel I was special to you and always would be.

Alas, after three years as a couple, you started to phase me out. Because of my great love for you, I decided the loss of your attention was too painful to bear — especially the nonchalant manner in which you treated me. I asked for time apart. I needed to figure out what to do. In less than six weeks, I realized I loved you and preferred the little attention you gave me rather than being without you. I tried to reunite. I called your dorm. You never answered. I left notes at the dorm’s reception. You never answered. I even ran a display newspaper ad to get your attention. You never answered. 

Two months later, I knew there was no hope. You had dumped me completely and forever. I want you to know that, in a sense, I have been fortunate. Most people suffer several broken hearts in their lifetimes. Not me. I suffered only one broken heart in my entire life: the one you gave me. That is when I made another decision — I decided never to fall in love again. I held to that resolve for well over a decade. A terrible choice because it infected my outlook on life. I call them my Tragic Years. If only you had answered sixty years ago.

As ever, but older, 

Bill

******

Dear Bill,

I answered you this time because I wanted you to know I finally found somebody to love and who loves me. We have been married for more than forty-five years. 

The fourteen years after you broke up with me were hell. I won’t go into all the bad things that happened to me, but I call those years my Troubled Times. If you had not broken up with me, I would not have suffered as I did. Those bad things were your fault.

After you broke our engagement, I completed my degree, got a job, saved money, and spent several months in Europe to find myself. I have had major illnesses, virtually disowned my sister, and didn’t get along with my mother for that time. My father was a disaster. With you, things were different. Your parents, especially your mother, loved and accepted me as if you and I were to be together forever. We were supposed to be together forever. It’s your fault we’re not.

You were my first fiancé, but not my last. I have been engaged a total of nine times and married twice. The lucky number nine was the keeper. My father liked you, and maybe Number 9, but he told my future husband (still my husband) not to get involved with me. When Dad died, he left me out of his Will. None of that would have happened if you hadn’t left me for Jezebel Jidan!

Anyhow, I don’t remember getting any of your notes or messages that you had called. The dorm in those days didn’t have phones in the rooms, and, of course, even the idea of cell phones was decades off. You broke up, not me. It’s your fault.

Now happily married,

Annabell Lee

*****

Dear Annabel Lee, 

You bring me pleasure with the good news you are happily married and have been for pushing 50 years. 

However, I did not leave you for Jezebel. I didn’t meet her until six months after we broke up. I fear you have been laboring under an error in memory all these years. Our problem involved us --- and only us. As I see the problem, of course, it was you. You were the one who changed between Christmas and New Year’s. It was you who changed majors and put me in the second position. 

In any event, I must tell you that I find it inconceivable that you did not receive at least one of my notes or one message I had called. But, let’s let that pass because, even assuming that to be true, it does not explain why you didn’t answer my display ad in the college newspaper. You saw the ad. The local town newspaper even commented about it in the Society Column. Classmates asked if you were the Annabel Lee in the ad --- as if there could be any mistake with such a unique name. You admitted you were the Annabel Lee. What you didn’t do was call me. You never answered.

As ever, 

Bill

*****

Dear Bill,

Yes, I saw the ad. It said: “Bill loves Annabel Lee.” That was an announcement. It didn’t say “all me.” The ad did not require or ask for a response. You should have said, “Bill Loves Annabel Lee. Please Marry Me.” If you had done that, I would have answered, said yes, and we would have married. It was your fault.

Now happily married,

Annabell Lee