I didn't mean it...

I woke to my alarm screaming at me to start my day since I had a long day ahead. With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen to prepare my usual Saturday breakfast—toast, two eggs, and a single slice of bacon. As my eggs sizzled on the stove, I wandered to the front door to grab the newspaper. My breath caught when I noticed a letter on top, addressed to me in handwriting I instantly recognized. My heart clenched. “Jason” 

The stove hissed angrily, snapping me out of my daze. I rushed back, only to find my eggs that were supposed to be sunny side up, now sunny side sad. My toast, too, had burned. I just gave up on breakfast, setting the food aside as my eyes returned to the letter. The memories flooding back to me, bringing me back to that day. The day I lost everything. 

The day had started like any other. I arrived at school early, walking in with my best friend Aiden. We headed to the library, waiting for Kayla, like always and then later for Sarah to come after her, since she was always late. But we knew something was off that day, once Sarah beat her there and even after the bell rang, she didn’t show. It was unusual, but we assumed she was sick. 

The air felt heavy as I walked into my first class. Our teacher, Mr. Barns, stood solemnly at the front. “Good morning, everyone,” he began. “I have some troubling news. One of our students was reported missing early this morning. Now everyone, don’t panic…” 

A chill ran down my spine. The classroom buzzed with murmurs, but I couldn’t focus. Deep down, I knew who it was. Kayla. But I couldn’t accept it—not yet. 

Classes felt like lifetimes until 3rd period, PE, I walked in and rushed to Aiden, “Hey, did you hear about the missing student?” I asked, “Yeah, I had a sub in my first period.” He said, sounding annoyed as he rolled his eyes and continued, “I heard it from this new kid in my second period, Jason, it’s his first day.” I raised an eyebrow. “That’s such a weird day to start school, the day a student goes missing.” I say and he nods, “Exactly, that’s what I told him and he just shrugged his shoulders.” The unease never left me. Later, during lunch, Mary, my girlfriend, confirmed my worst fear. “I tried to ask Kayla’s sister about her absence,” she said, her voice trembling. “But she ran off crying before I could even get the full question out. It’s Kayla, isn’t it? The missing student?” 

I tried to reassure her—and myself—that Kayla was fine, but the seed of doubt had already taken root. I tried my best to convince myself that it wasn’t her. 

I looked over to Aiden who was motioning over a “come here,” and looking directly behind me. I turned around to see a tall young man, he looked strikingly like Kayla—same build, same mannerisms—but the similarities felt somewhat off. His jet-black hair and stormy blue-gray eyes were in stark contrast to her light brown hair and green eyes. It was unsettling, but I brushed it aside. 

“Hey Jason—oh right, guys this is Jason, he’s new here.” Aiden spoke up and I looked at him and then back at Jason, “Hi, I’m George, it’s nice to finally meet you—wait aren’t you in my math class?” I ask, surprised once I recognize him, “Oh yeah, Mr. Barns right?” He says and I nod, “Yeah, so how are you liking it so far?” I ask and he groans, “Well, some classes are good, but some just suck to be honest. Math isn’t bad, but we didn’t do anything, ELA’s not bad, but she talks so much and she’s never even on topic. My 3rd period class is really weird though and the teacher talks in this boring monotone voice that basically put me to sleep.” 

“Hey guys, did you—oh hi? Anyway, did you guys hear about the missing kid?” I look at Sarah as she speaks and sits down with her boyfriend, Micheal, late as always. “Hi, I’m Jason, it’s my first day.” Jason says and smiles at Sarah, as the rest of us start to talk to each other about the missing kid. I pull Mary close to me and put my arm around her and feel her snuggle her head into my shoulder. I kiss her head and look at Sarah as she speaks again “It’s nice to meet you, hope you're liking it here. It may seem kinda down at first, but everyone here isn’t too bad.” She smiled at him, “Yeah, it’s not too bad, just some of the classes can be boring, thank you.” He says and she nods. 

I turn to Emma who speaks up after that “Yeah, Allen wasn’t in my 3rd period either, it was nice and peaceful if I can be honest. I mean, I don’t wanna be insensitive, but he was so annoying and would always bug me whenever he could.” I nod and we all continue to chat about who the missing kid might be, but then move to learning more about Jason, who had a lot of the same tendencies as Kayla; he had that same weird model like walk, but seemed to try and stop it whenever he noticed he was doing it, unlike Kayla he bought lunch, but when he ate the pizza he started from the crust, which was just like her. I wasn’t really sure what to make of all this, but maybe we had just met Kayla’s male doppelganger. “Hey babe, is it just me or does Jason look similar to Kayla and kinda act like her?” I whispered to Mary who was still laying on my shoulder, “I hadn’t really been paying attention to him, but now that you mention it, yeah he really does seem like her. That’s so weird.” She whispered back and I nod as I reply “Yeah, weird.”

Days turned to weeks. Kayla still hadn’t returned. The police made no progress and weren’t doing anything to try and find her. They still weren’t going to tell us who it was, but we all knew. I was still unable to shake the weird feeling I felt with Jason, he felt so familiar yet so off at the same time. Then one day, after lunch, Jason asked to speak with me alone after everyone else had left for class. “Do you ever wish you were someone else?” he asked, his tone heavy with meaning, but confused, I shook my head. “No? Why?” Jason hesitated, then took a deep breath. “Because… I’m Kayla. I always wanted to be someone else.” 

My world tilted. It all made sense now—her disappearance, his strange similarities. Anger bubbled to the surface. “Why?” I demanded. “Why would you do this?” I felt myself beak inside, feeling hurt and betrayed. To this day, I still don’t know why I felt so angry, she had her reasons, but I just couldn't listen. Her—his—eyes filled with tears. “I had no choice,” Kayla whispered. “I was in trouble, George. I stole from a gang. They were after me and anyone close to me. I had to disappear.” I trembled with anger and basically screamed “Why?!” 

I couldn’t process it. I left school that day and never looked back. I didn’t tell anyone the truth about Jason or Kayla. Instead, I packed my life into a suitcase and ran. I dyed my hair, changed my name, and moved to Brigham city, Utah, but now in Salt lake city, Utah. I wasn’t going back, I didn’t have anything there anymore, I knew it was all over now, if she was still alive, she was going to end it all for me. Letters from Kayla arrived occasionally, but I ignored them. After I got enough money, I moved to Sacramento, California. For years, I lived in isolation, haunted by the betrayal and the loss of the life I’d been forced to leave behind. I couldn’t forgive her for what she did, I knew what she’d done after I left, because the day before the missing kid was announced at school, I was hanging out at her house and she said “George, I’m in a lot of trouble, I stole from a gang and they’re after me and everyone else I know. I can’t tell you any other information, because otherwise, they might come after your family too. I can’t let it happen, I’m gonna do something I’m gonna regret and I want you to know I’m sorry.” I questioned her more and found out she meant she was going to tell everyone, she was going to tell them about me and her, that it was my fault. I told her not to and that she would ruin everything for me and her, but she wasn’t going to listen and said she was going to tell the police about me killing that guy that was harassing her from months ago. If she was going down, she was bringing me with her. 

This morning, everything changed. The letter on top of the newspaper was from her and I didn’t even have to open it to know what it contained. Inside it said: 

“Dear George, 

I’m so sorry for what I did all those years ago. I never wanted to hurt you. I only meant to protect myself, but I ended up ruining everything. I hope you can forgive me. 

Love, Kayla.” 

I set the letter down, unable to feel anything but anger. Forgiveness wasn’t something I could offer—not after everything. Later that night, a knock at my door startled me. I opened it to find Kayla standing there. Older. Worn. But it was her. “How did you find me? I did everything in my power to make sure you couldn’t find me.” I asked, my voice trembling. She looked down, ashamed. “I had to. I couldn’t live with this guilt anymore. Please, George. I need to know if you can forgive me. No, I need you to forgive me, I can’t live with myself anymore without your forgiveness.” 

I wanted to slam the door in her face. But the pain in her eyes stopped me. I stepped aside, letting her in. We sat in silence before I finally spoke. “I forgive you,” I said, the words heavy on my tongue. “But I can’t let you back into my life. I’ve built something new, I’m happy, I’m actually happy, and I won’t risk it for you.” She nodded, tears streaming down her face. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I understand. Goodbye, George.” And with that, she left, disappearing into the night. I closed the door, feeling the weight of the past finally lift. I was free. 

The End