Catch My Ex-Stepfather If You Can

My ex-stepfather is the most manipulative man I have ever met. Remember the movie “Catch me if you can” starring DiCaprio? My ex-stepfather was very similar to him. My mother never loved anybody nor trusted anybody (including me). However, she was madly in love with him and was obsessed with him.

First, he plotted to separate mom from dad. He and his ex-wife (not mom) were our family friends. Unfortunately, I once blurted out that my parents were fighting often. That was all he needed to hear. My dad left for South Africa for a year. During that time, my ex-stepfather used to come and visit mom often. He was badmouthing dad while praising her. He told mom that dad attempted to have an affair in South Africa. However, that woman didn’t like dad because of his attitude and didn’t entertain him. He was telling her everything that she wanted to hear and boosted her self-esteem. He told her that she looked more beautiful than her sisters. He added that his ex-wife was jealous of her because she was more educated, had a child, and was working. He made mom very happy. She believed him, fell for him, and divorced dad immediately after he returned from South Africa.

My dad got to know about mom’s affair and called every single person in the telephone directory and badmouthed her. He was a psycho too. This further broke her heart and caused her to hate him. She married my ex-stepfather within 4 months after divorcing dad. Before she got married to him, his ex-wife told mom that he was a womanizer and that he ruined 3 women’s lives. She cautioned mom to be careful as he had set his eyes on her. Mom didn’t believe her and snitched my ex-stepfather. He thought quickly and told mom that his ex-wife was imagining things out of jealousy.

He touched me inappropriately one day. I snitched mom. She didn’t believe me. When she asked him, he told her that he touched me by mistake while cooking. She believed him. The next day, he kissed me on my cheek right in front of her. I resisted and screamed at him. That next day, he told mom (with a very sad face) that he didn’t sleep the entire night as he was depressed. He also told her that I was exactly like my dad who didn’t love anybody. He added that he considered me his daughter, but it pained him that I wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. Mom pitied him and was furious towards me. She forced me to call him “dad”. She said, “His ex-wife stole all his money, and now you are also tormenting that poor guy”.

He told mom that I was “ugly”. Mom joined him in bullying me. A normal mother would slap her husband if he called her child “ugly”. I shouted at him. Mom was furious towards me. She screamed at me. She couldn’t even sleep the entire night. She kept waking me up and screaming at me. When I woke up the next day, she slapped me. She roared, “What right do you have to hurt a pristine man like him? You are a poisonous insect in this sacred jungle”. She cursed me and called me names for an hour. Her face was red. She was in such agony.

One day, I failed an exam. He told mom that he was going to attend his felicitation arranged by his students, but he wasn’t in mood to attend it any longer. He was pretending to be sad when he was actually very happy. Mom, while gaslighting me, added that I made my him very sad.

The next day, he told mom that he saw in the newspaper that I had failed the exam. He never showed the newspaper to mom. He was lying to her. Mom further gaslighted me saying that I was a disgrace to her. She never asked him to show her the newspaper. She blindly believed whatever he said. He once told me that he saw someone exactly like me and took a photo of her without her noticing him. I asked him to show the photo several times. He always told me that he forgot to bring it. He was living in another town and visited us only during the weekends.

Once I downloaded a song on mom’s phone. He was in a family plan with her. I knew that it was free. However, he told mom that he had to pay a huge fee for it. Mom scolded me badly. I once asked for my laptop that he borrowed from me. He told mom that his colleague’s daughter downloaded all kinds of crap on her laptop and that his colleague had to pay 50,000 rupees in fees. That scared mom. She told me that I should never ask for my laptop again.

One fine day, mom called him while he was in another town. A random man picked up and told mom that my Ramanujam (ex-stepfather’s name) was busy with his children. When she asked him what his wife’s name was, he told her his ex-wife’s name. Mom was shocked. My ex-stepfather told mom earlier that he divorced his wife. When mom asked him to show the divorce papers, he said, “I didn’t divorce her officially. We separated among a group of elders. They demanded that I give all my property to her. She stole all my money.” Mom bought that lie and didn’t even officially marry him.

After the phone call, mom suspected him for the very first time. When she confronted him, he had to think in a split second. He told mom that the man who picked up the call got confused him for someone else whose name was Ramachander. When she asked, “How about your ex-wife’s name?”, he told her that the name was very common among Indians. This convinced mom.

Within a week, he told mom that he was flying to South Africa for a year. His passport indicated that he was 5 years older than the age he came up with. He told mom that his parents were illiterate and printed the wrong age. He flew to South Africa shortly. He appeared very relieved as soon as he arrived at the airport. Mom then got to know that he flew along with his wife, two children, and her parents. Her heart was broken. She spent an entire month crying every day. I was very happy to watch her cry.

He was also living with his wife while he was “married” to mom for 4 years. He spent 5 days a week with her and spent the weekends with mom. He had two children with her that mom was unaware of. After all this, mom never apologized to me. She was instead expecting me to pity her.