On a Cold Night

We pretended our spirits were high and united with the universe. We shouted “Happy New Year” with hope and exhaustion settling into our cold bones. The heat in the cabin had gone out yesterday.

We had walked a long way over snow covered roads and found the cabin down a long driveway that had not been plowed this season, we were all very happy to find it. The cabin standing small yet proud against the tall trees and long shadows cast by a brilliant moon. It started to snow again, we were still drunk, so we trudged forward toward the cabin with a sense of relief, and renewed optimism.

As we gained energy from the sight of the cabin we breathed in the cold air and lifted our knees high to get over the powdery snow. Johnny got ahead of us, exhausted, and with arms outlifted in exaltation, fell into the snow laughing and exhaling huge plumes of frozen breath. He made the obligatory snow angel, rolled over, and then with bare hands and wet knees arched his back and thrust his lips to the moon in a magnificent howl.  We all cried out together, Awwoohh, Awwhh,

 Awwhh, Awoooohhhh!”, while the glowing moon hid behind clouds and watched us pretend that we didn’t have a care in the world.

We laughed and howled and sucked in the dampness of the cold air, as we imagined the warmth inside. In the distance we heard a yip-yip, which started a frenzy of yipping and howling and calling out that scared all of us, so we stayed quiet and hurried our march to the cabin that was locked.

We felt around in the snow and moonlight for a key nailed to a tree or some other way inside. As I held Michelle to try to warm her and get her to stop shaking, I looked at the blood stain on her hat and asked her about her head and how she was feeling. She asked me about the wolves, I assured her they were only coyotes, I didn’t know. The yipping was getting louder and closer, but it stopped immediately when the glass of a window, shattered in the darkness.  Johnny yelled out, “Hey, I found a way in.”

Michelle and I were exhilarated when Johnny, unlocked and burst through the door pushing the mound of snow from the front step in a clean arc. In the short time he had been inside the cabin he had already assumed ownership and met us with a friendly yet polished greeting of “Welcome to my home.” His smile revealed a bloody tooth that had been pushed in when the car slammed into the trees and bushes below the road, we were travelling a few hours before.  The engine steaming and hissing, one tire still spinning with lights shining down into the wet snow-covered swamp. We were all shocked at how fast the car had plunged down off the side of the road and unaware how much that had changed us.

When we got inside, the cabin was cold, and brown, and damp.  The firewood started easily, after I figured out how to get the paper book matches to light.  I had seen my grandpa light these for the pipe he smoked, he made it look easy, but with cold wet fingers, it was not.   

I looked up and said, “Hey guys, we are going to have to keep the fire lit, we are almost out of matches.” Michelle opened her eye and asked if the book had been full. I angrily said, “Yes, but is it lit?” I looked over at her and changed my response, “Doesn’t it feel great? Come closer and warm up.”  The three of us huddled around the fireplace with our hands outstretched with fingers cold, and stiff. We were happy to have a few logs that were left behind to warm us and help us calm down. As we wiggled our toes out of our socks and shoes, we shivered and wringed our fingers. We all paused to watch the steam lift from the socks we had hung from the mantle. As the alcohol and the adrenalin of survival subsided, the aches in our bodies, glass cuts and bruises began to show themselves.  Outside the snowflakes got bigger and kept falling.

Michelle and I pulled our bodies close and hugged each other and confirmed to each other that it would be alright. We stayed warm as Johnny dug around his cabin with the light of the fire flickering up against the small table, gas stove and a cupboard that left little to find.  The fire was warm, and I was happy holding Michelle hoping, and thinking how, to get her out of here in the morning. 

I pushed Johnny away as he had moved in close to me, my head throbbed awake, and my body was starting to get cold again. Michelle was still asleep as I got up to go to find a place to pee.  

The cabin did not have a bathroom inside, so I pushed on the door to the front step. I could see light from the window above the door, but the snow was too deep to push the door open.  I reluctantly peed a little yellow hole into the white snow showing through the crack in the door. Feeling relieved, I saw Michelle sleeping comfortably even with her white stocking cap with the dark red blood stained near her forehead.  Johnny rolled over and put his arm over her shoulder and wiggled in closer.   The fire was still smoldering, and I scraped around with the iron poker and found a few red coals among the ashes.  I set the last log into the ashes and blew on the coals to get them a little hotter.  

Johnny had set last night’s findings on the table, an empty bottle, a can of beans with a can opener set out neatly on the snow-covered wooden table pushed up against the wall below the broken window.

Johnny figured out how to turn on the gas stove, which lit surprisingly easy.  It was enough to warm the can of beans and we all took turns eating from the can with a spoon that we had found wedged under the table to level it.

The day after, Johnny and I took turns scraping the snow from the door with an old broom. We hoped we could get outside and gather some wood and prepare to walk us back toward the town we last saw. The snow was deep as we scrambled up the pile and sank in as we peered over the snow into a quiet blanket of relentless white with a forest protruding through with trees bent from the weight.  

That night we shivered and held each other close as the cold of the winter settled the storm into a still unmoving mass of darkness that crept in through the windows and doors and surrounded us.  The direness of our situation began to take hold as the temperature dropped further.

We thought we heard a machine in the night  I leaped to my feet and pushed open the frozen door. I clambered to the top of the snow and yelled out at the noise even though it was in the distance, and I could not see it.

Then next morning in the settled snow, Johnny and I made a long walk back to find the car, covered deep in snow and frozen into the swamp. A snowmobile had driven by on the road but would have no way of seeing the car off in the deep ditch covered by heaps of cold blowing snow.

I dug down and crawled in through the window of the car and found the blanket in the back seat and Michelle’s cellphone, cracked and frozen up under the mat of the passenger seat. It did not turn on, and we did not expect a signal.  Johnny and I made it back to the cabin before dark.

We found Michelle in a ball on the floor shivering and clutching her stomach. She was scared and cold and we told her we found her phone as we wrapped her in the blanket. There was not much else we could think of to do to help her, so Johnny helped me light the flame on the stove. We felt the warmth as I pulled the phone from my armpit, it had warmed enough to turn on and confirm that there was no signal, and it was Dec. 31^st.

Johnny and I couldn’t have cared less about the day, but this fact let Michelle smile a little bit as she breathed “Happy New Year.” We looked at each other, and in hopes of lifting our spirits along with Michelle’s, we yelled “Happy New Year!”  After the short exuberance left us, we sank back into our minds and our cold shivering bodies, huddled into a tight ball covered in a blanket. We leaned into one another, shared, and enjoyed each other’s warmth while we existed, shivered, and waited for morning.