Merry Second Chances

Pulling up to my parents’ home after five years away is exciting and daunting. I take one last look in the rear-vision mirror, fixing my lip gloss, before leaving the car’s icy air-conditioning. There’s no doubt about it; it’s Summer in North Queensland, Australia. A wave of heat engulfs me, armpits crying in response. More sweat beads on my forehead while simultaneously trickling down my spine, pooling at the top of my underwear.

It’s one reason I moved abroad, preferring the sun to kiss my skin for three months of the year, rather than ten excruciating months here. I should’ve suggested they come to mine for a White Christmas instead. With this humidity, we can hopefully expect rain soon.

“Katie, you’re home.” Mum says, greeting me, arms wide open, pulling me into a bear hug. She kisses my cheeks as if I were a child. I’ve missed her, I’ve missed everything about home, except two things: this heat, and my ex.

She beckons me inside. Dad’s sitting at the table reading the newspaper while drinking black coffee. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” he says, dripping with sarcasm. He thinks funny.

“Ha Ha,” I retort. “I see you haven’t lost your sense of humour.”

“Never,” he replies with a grin.

We catch up over morning tea as my younger sister, Grace, wakes from her slumber to join us. She’s probably been up late partying or picked up an extra semester at university. Knowing her, it’s the former.

“So, Katie,” mum begins, “I hate to put you to work right away, but would you mind helping sort a few last-minute things for the party tonight?”

I nod, “Of course.” I slept on the flight over thanks to a few tiny bottles of vodka, so I should be good for a while. Besides, there’s always Redbull if I struggle. “What can I do to help? Cooking?”

“No, we hired a caterer this year. I’m still doing my usual Christmas cake, though. Could you head over early and decorate?” Sighing, my face fell. Mum notices. “You’ve always had such a good eye for decorating. Remember when you did your high school dance? Everyone talked about it for months.”

Yes, I remember. It was my prom at the end of school, and the other reason I left. As a prom committee member, I refilled the punch and platters. When I finally took a break, I found my boyfriend, Nate, dancing with one of the popular girls. You know the kind; they ‘try out’ all the guys one by one. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, they shared a long kiss, right in front of me. They were almost humping on the dance floor. My blood boiled, but all I could do was stand there as they darted off to the bathrooms. Disgusting! I don’t even want to think about what happened afterwards. From that point, the mere thought of him ignited a fiery anger within me. And in that moment of bravery, when a tear slipped out, my heart shattered. It was then, I knew I never wanted to see him again.

 “Sure. What decorations do you have?”

“Everything,” she beams. “Fairy lights, streamers, balloons, table decorations – you name it, we’ve got it. They’re in boxes on the back patio.”

“Ok, easily done. Maybe Grace can help?”

Grace shakes her head. “Can’t. Sorry.” Scornfully furrowing my brows, she shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m holding the cake while mum drives.”

My brows lift. “We can make multiple trips. Nowhere is over twenty minutes in this town, anyway. I’ll bring you back in time before mum leaves.”

Dad and Grace share a hearty laughter. I glance at mum. “What am I missing here?”

Sheepishly, she advises, “We hired out the old Scout camp hall at Paluma. It’s surrounded by rainforest and has a kitchen for the caterers. Plus, there’re cabins for people who can’t drive home after.”

“That’s an hour’s drive,” I moan.

Dad interjects. “Only forty-five minutes.”

“Whatever dad, it’s still a fair distance. And you’re expecting all the family to drive up there?”

Mum nods. “They all loved the idea in our Facebook group chat.”

“Fine. I’ll need to head up soon since it starts at 7 pm. Text me the address. What about the key?”

“You won’t need it. The caterer is heading up soon, before midday. He’ll let you in. We won’t be too far behind, and dad will follow once he collects grandma.”

With plans settled, we stack boxes of decorations in my car until it’s bursting. I think mum might’ve gone a bit overboard, but I know I’ll make the space beautiful. The radio plays seasonal songs while navigating the winding road of the mountains. I sing along, getting into the Christmas spirit. The higher the altitude, the cooler it gets, and I wind down my window for fresh air. By the time I arrive, I’m feeling motivated and happy.

I pull into the drive and park before knocking on the door. There’s no response, so I turn the handle, opening it wide enough to carry the boxes through. Returning to the car, I grab the first box bringing it inside.

With concrete flooring and brick walls, it’s spacious and cool. The musty smell suggests prolonged dormancy. Clattering pots catch my attention from the back. It must be the caterer. The double doors that I assume go to the back are closed, but snippets of music slip through the cracks.

As I take in the space, I see chairs stacked high at one end, with folded tables leaning against the wall.

I place the box on the floor, opening windows to air out the space. To make quicker work, I stack boxes on top of each other for the remaining trips. It obscures my view, but I’m determined to bring everything inside before the clouds open.

“Need a hand?” A man offers.

“Uh, yeah. If you don’t mind. Boot’s open. There’s some in the back seat, too.” Retracing my steps to the first box, I notice the man with another set of stacked boxes. I grab two more. They do too. Just as I shut the car door, balancing the last box on my hip, raindrops fall. I’m ever grateful for his help.

Heading back inside, I run straight into this guy, knocking the box and its contents to the ground.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there,” I apologise, bending down to pick up the items.

He joins me, winding a string of fairy lights around his hand. “Don’t worry about it.” He says, smiling.

As I look up to thank him, I see Nate. My heart races, hands trembling; stunned, unable to comprehend what I’m looking at. His presence leaves me almost speechless, my voice barely audible. I stutter, “N-Nate?”

Our eyes meet, carrying the weight of our shared history. Memories overwhelm me with vivid snapshots of our past. Nate’s mere presence triggers my confusion, but also something else. A flicker of hope? Answers? I’m overflowing with questions I dare not ask.

The air’s heavy and electric, as my gaze locks on him. I wait for answers to unspoken questions. As if he reads my mind, something flickers in his eyes. Remorse or sorrow, perhaps? Unspoken words and unfinished conversations hang in the silence between us.

Finally, vulnerability and apprehension replace shock. This unexpected reunion; potentially healing or worsening old wounds. With a deep breath, I brace myself. Silence fills the air, anticipating Nate’s reply.

We rise to our feet. He looks at me, smiling, as if he’s happy to see me. What is he smiling at, though? I’m not at all happy to see him. This must be a joke.

Finally, I snap out of it, realising my predicament. I snatch the fairy lights from him, throwing them back into the box. “Thanks,” I snap.

“Ugh, ok,” he says, confused. What an idiot. “I’ll be out the back if you need anything.”

“Yep,” I snap again. There’s no need for niceties.

Let’s get this show on the road. There’s a lot to do before the party starts.

After sweeping the floor, I spend an hour setting up tables and chairs. The space smells better too, the scent of rain drifting in as it gets heavier. Thirsty, I dash to the car for my water bottle. Ready to guzzle, I raise it, but it’s empty.

Against my better judgement, I march into the kitchen, heading for the sink. Nate’s at the chopping board, intermittently stirring a pot. As I fill my bottle, I side-eye him. A smile grows as he catches me, and I dart my eyes back to the faucet.

Once the bottle’s full, I hurry past him, but he catches me. His touch feels warm and electric as he gently folds his fingers around my wrist. Our faces, now only inches apart, as he stares deeply into my eyes.

With a low voice, he breathes my name. It’s sultry, almost seductive. Is he playing with me right now? My eyes flicker to his before falling to his lips. A smirk forms at the corner of his mouth, whispering. “I’ve missed you.”

I frown, trying to decipher his message. He inhales deeply, relaxing his hold. “You’re still upset with me.”

Unsure if he’s asking a question, or simply stating the obvious, I reply with a question too. “Are you playing with me right now? I don’t have time for this.” Shaking my head, my gaze falls to his grip on my arm.

He lets go. “Games? No. I’ve genuinely missed you.”

I snort, mumbling. “Yeah, sure you have.”

He frowns. “Honestly, Katie?” I shrug my shoulders. “You’re the one who got away,” he says sincerely.

I let out a laugh. “Are you serious?” Leaving Nate to his food prep, I walk back to the main room. He was playing games, after all.

As the rain gets heavier, my concern for my parents driving deepens. After arranging the tables, I set the decorations. It looks alright, but it’s not finished yet. Time for the fairy lights, streamers, and balloons.

Without a ladder, I grab a chair, inching around the perimeter of the room. Once that’s done, I plug it in and flip the switch. With the overcast weather, the little bulbs twinkle like stars. I need to add some more touches, though. Digging through the boxes, I continue around the perimeter, this time with red and green streamers.

With the balloons in front of me, I realise there’s no way to inflate them. Looks like it’s going to be manual labour for this task. Get ready lungs. I find a spot on the floor and plonk myself down, spreading out the flaccid balloons. I grab the first and blow until I’m red in the face. My fingers fail to grasp it properly, as it blurts and splutters, flying into the rafters before falling. I try a second time, the same miserable outcome. Come on. I inflate a third balloon by hooking the bevelled edge behind my teeth and holding its neck. Finally, success. I struggle to tie the neck before placing it aside.

With each blow, I let out my frustration and anger. My mind drifting back to that night, clearly trying to twist that knife a little deeper, but my heart says, ‘Back off’. Releasing anger allows walls to come down and other emotions to surface. Like the way I felt about him before all of that. The way we used to lock eyes or exchange smiles across the classroom, like our own secret code. The way I’d crushed on him for months, before he finally noticed me on the first day of year twelve – it only took a new haircut, and some pep in my step too. All the nights we spent hours just talking, sharing our innermost thoughts. I trusted him; I loved him. He destroyed it all.

Nate peaks around the doorway, spotting me wrestling with balloons. What can he possibly want now? He trudges over, holding something behind his back.

With a sheepish grin, he says. “Left, or right?”

“What?” I say, tying another balloon.

“It’s a surprise. Left or right, Katie?”

“Ugh,” I grunt, rolling my eyes. “Left.”

A wide grins forms, and he kneels on one leg. He passes me a small brightly coloured box with a golden bow on top.

“What’s this?” I say, curious.

“Open it,” he replies. I see something sparkling in his eyes. Is this a trick?

Carefully, I lift the lid, revealing a cupcake. I look up at him. “A cupcake?” He nods. I try to put the lid back on, but Nate intervenes.

“You didn’t look properly,” he says. “Try again.”

This guy must be losing his mind. Yet, to appease him, I pick up the little box and open it again, removing the cupcake. There’s a neatly folded note sitting on the bottom. I pick up, placing the cupcake back inside. It reads-

Dear Katie,

I’m not sure what I’ve done to make you so angry at me, but I meant it when I said I missed you. You’re the girl I always wanted; to treasure for a lifetime. Then, when you left, you became the ‘one that got away’. And now, although I didn’t know you’d be home this Christmas, it’s as if Santa has sprinkled some magic on us, allowing us to rewind time.

Don’t decide now, just think about it.

Love Nate xo

Well, damn! I didn’t see that coming.

I glance up from the note to find Nate’s disappeared back to the kitchen. What am I supposed to do with this? Jumping up from the floor, I stride to the kitchen.

I hover in the doorway, observing him briefly. Moving effortlessly, he goes from cutting board to oven, placing something on the bench. It smells good, but I resist the desire to taste everything.

As he heads to his charging phone at the other end of the bench, I quietly tiptoe behind him. With a gentle touch on the shoulder, he swiftly turns to meet my gaze. We’re so close, our noses almost touch. He tries to take a step back, but the bench hinders his escape.

I hold the note up. “Did you mean what you wrote?”

He nods. “Every word.”

My eyes narrow, reading him. “Then how do you not understand why I’m mad at you?”

He responds with the same squinted gaze. “You never told me what I did.”

“Ugh,” I groan, turning, but his firm grip pulls me back into his embrace. His eyes are so dark, they’re like a moonless night.

His voice is sincere. “Whatever you think I did, I’m sorry, Katie. I’m so sorry. Please tell me.”

The walls around my heart crumble at his vulnerability, and the tears I’ve been holding back come rushing out. I hang my head, covering my face with both hands. “Why’d you have to ruin everything?”

He pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me as I cry into his apron. Smoothing my hair back, he plants a gentle kiss on my forehead, then moves to my ear and whispers. “I’m sorry Katie. Please forgive me.”

Sobbing through my words, I say. “You really don’t remember, do you?” His eyes seem to beg me to fill in the gaps. “Prom … You and… her,” I spit out the last word.

His eyes widen with realisation. “Katie, that…” He rubs his chin. “You won’t believe me if I tell you.”

“I need to know,” I murmur. He pats down my hair, preparing me.

“That night, I was so nervous. There was this entire prom speech I’d prepared for you. So, I stupidly got into my dad’s booze for some Dutch courage. Long story short, I was wasted by the time I got to prom. I couldn’t see straight. Could barely walk. I figured if I danced, I could hold on to someone – to you.” He pauses, wiping a tear from his eye. “I’m so freaking stupid, Katie. For some dumb reason, I thought she was you. It was only when we went to the bathroom – I vomited everywhere, and when I finally came to my senses, I realised who she was. I felt sick to my stomach and vomited again before I passed out.”

I raise my head to look at him. “So, you didn’t cheat on me?”

He shakes his head. “I would never. You were my everything.”

His eyes reflect honesty. Tears prick my eyes as emotions take over. My gaze shifts between his stare and his lips. I realise now those feelings haven’t gone. They’ve been dormant for years, patiently waiting to be reignited. But do I dare? What if he hurts me again?

He leans in before I decide. I feel his minty breath so close, floating gently on my tongue. His lips inch closer, meeting mine. Something shoots through me, electric and terrifying. It’s relit emotions, it’s wanting, it’s lust. It’s impossible to fight, and I fall into him. Our lips slightly part, allowing our tongues to dance gracefully together. My pulse races as my core burns, feeling his response grind up against me – he wants me too.

The rain outside rages louder, drowning out moans as we embrace this moment. Forgiveness is bittersweet as we eventually pull apart.

Nate cups my face in his hands, staring into my eyes, reading me. “Katie, I want you. All of you. Not just for Christmas, but always.”

I close my eyes, not wanting to ruin the moment. “This … this was beautiful. But Nate, I’m not sure I can go down that road again…”

He interjects. “Don’t decide now. Sleep on it.”

I nod. Whether or not he asked me to, I’m going to be overthinking this for days, or weeks anyway.

Nate places a gentle kiss on my lips once more. “I’ll wait forever if you need me to.”