Write A Story About Someone Struggling To Swallow Some Harsh (But Fair) Constructive Criticism

If you ask most people how they feel about constructive criticism, I'm sure half of them would say they love to get feedback. But, do they mean it? Do they want it? Are they looking for an honest answer, or do they hope it will be just enough to cause a slight sting to their ego rather than destroy it? On any given day, most people would prefer to give constructive criticism than receive it. It's an area where one must tread lightly when they don't know the fragility of another person's mindset.

Many of us have heard the old story about a wife asking her husband if a certain dress or outfit makes her look fat. Is she prepared to listen to his honest answer without becoming so angry that she refuses to speak to him for the rest of the day? How does her question make him feel? Will he skirt the truth to avoid stinging her self-esteem? What would happen if he replied in the following way?

“Honey, the dress has nothing to do with it."

"Honey, I'm sorry to say this, but you are fat."

There is a possibility that both answers are correct, but even so, they are not proper responses, and that is not constructive criticism. When someone asks, "Am I this or that?" they don't always want to hear what will be said. If the response is too harsh, they could misinterpret it as a put-down rather than words of encouragement for them to continue their endeavor. They might also view the other person as someone with a negative attitude who doesn't speak well of others.

I'm confident that I have excellent writing skills, but I have always been my harshest critic. I'm great with spelling, and I try to watch my grammar and tone. Not only that, I know my style and use proper punctuation to avoid run-on collisions. But, there are times when I still get confused about where to put a comma. Or when to use which or that in a sentence. It wasn't until eighth grade that I learned the difference between the two princes who used to cause me trouble: the prince with pull (principle) and the prince who is a pal (principal). But it takes more than these things to become a great writer.

As a published author, I had to swallow a few chunks of constructive criticism before my book was ever in print. Although I expected to see a few sprinkles of red in the margins and throughout the manuscript, I hoped the editors wouldn't be too harsh. Imagine the look of horror on my face with the first round of editing. The only thing I saw was a sea of red ink.

"This cannot be right! I write much better than this! I would never make that many mistakes!"

Those were the words that I said to myself. It felt harsh, although there was nothing said out loud. It was quite a sting, but it was fair. Furthermore, it is the kind of constructive criticism needed when one is looking to have a book published. It is the first book that I have ever written, and many of the mistakes were definitely mine. Some of them belonged to the editors who had their way of capitalizing the letters of some words that I do not. Since I used the words hundreds of times, I left them that way rather than using too much time to change them back. I dropped the ball when I didn't specify this before the editing process began. But, I continue to learn about writing daily thanks to the constructive criticism that I receive.

It is the editors' job to pull and push. This way, they get the best out of the writers who seek them for answers. In the end, you may or may not become pals, and that's okay. Some pals won't always tell the truth or give constructive criticism because of their close relationship. That is not always healthy, and it could lead to the seeker always believing that everything they do is right.

Sometimes, all it takes is a sting to set a person on course to do the right thing. In 2 Corinthians 8, Apostle Paul spoke about avoiding criticism by doing things the right way. He stated, "For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men" (v.21). Paul took every necessary precaution to see that those he was in a relationship with did things the right way. It was because of the men’s righteousness that people criticized them. Paul didn't want to give them the chance to add more fuel to the fire. 

Even when things are done the right way, it doesn't always prevent criticism. Each person takes pains to sharpen their gift or talent before presenting it to others; however, a wise person should expect to receive constructive and negative criticism, and adapt accordingly. It can be painful to hear that your gift or talent is not as polished as you think. "Practice makes perfect" is a quote that's been spoken millions of times by millions of people. Only time, and constructive criticism from those looking to put it to the test, can tell us just how perfect or imperfect our endeavors are.

As a writer, I am aware that not everyone will enjoy everything that I write. Some people love to offer their opinion and will use constructive criticism as an excuse to ridicule others. If we want to be our best, or put our best foot forward, we have to learn to see constructive criticism as a tool and use it for growth, even if it stings. In Alexander Pope’s poem, An Essay on Criticism, he wrote: 

The critic else proceeds without remorse,

Seizes your fame, and puts his laws in force…

A perfect judge will read each work of wit

With the same spirit that its author writ…

Survey the whole, nor seek slight faults to find,

Where nature moves, and rapture warms the mind;

Words are like leaves; and where they most abound,

Much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found…

A vile conceit in pompous words express'd,

Is like a clown in regal purple dress'd:…

Good nature and good sense must ever join;

To err is human; to forgive, divine.

Pope, Alexander. "An Essay on Criticism". Poetry Foundation, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/69379/an-essay-on-criticism. Accessed 11 April 2022.