After the Fire

Bianca sat on the couch in the lounge still in her formal wear, her hands cupping her nose and mouth with her leg shaking.  She was scared, she knew her father was on the call as well as Eli was.  She had a bad feeling about this one.

She sat there for what felt like forever till she heard her father over the monitor saying that he was taking over command and Chief Young was taking a crew inside and would be radio contact.  Bianca started to shake uncontrollably when some other women came in laughing.  They saw her sitting there and stopped.

A blonde looked at her and smiled, "You must be Dallas’ oldest!  The one dating Eli?” She sat on Bianca’s right on the couch, "oh, ladies, she's shaking.  Get a blanket for her please.  I'll try to calm her down." Someone had put a blanket around her shoulders.  "It'll be okay.  You know they always come home safe.  Your man makes a point for that.  He's one of the best chief's that this company has had." 

The ladies all smiled as the blonde made Bianca feel a little better, "I'm Sandy, the main driver of the engine's wife.  These two are Kendra and Megan. Come on, let's go get some coffee." 

Bianca looked at them, grateful, "Thanks, I'd like to but I'd rather stay here and listen to the monitor." 

Sandy nodded, "Alright, we'll bring you one back.  Let us know what happens." She smiled, patted her hand, then the girls left.

When they left she could hear the monitor better.  She heard Eli talking to command asking questions around the house and where the man might be.   

All of a sudden things started to get heated on the radio. She heard Eli saying that the floor was too soft then there was another firefighter on the radio saying something that Bianca didn't want to hear, "Mayday! Mayday! Firefighter down!" 

She heard her father come back on and say something else that she didn't want to hear, "If you can get to him, drag him out, if not leave him and get out, it's not safe.  The hoses aren't working anymore.  Pull out, pull out."

Bianca didn't realize it but she was standing after she heard the mayday.  When she heard her father talk she collapsed to her knees and started to cry.  

When Sandy and the other two women walked into the room they were laughing, but when they saw her crying, they stopped.  "Oh no" She looked at Kendra and Megan.  "End the reunion.  You know what to do, get food started in the kitchen.  I'll stay here and take care of her."  Sandy put her arms around Bianca and pulled her up to the couch. "Do you know who it is?" 

Bianca started to shake her head as she talked, "I think it's Eli." She started crying again.  “He was talking then all of a sudden he wasn't, someone else was." Sandy held Bianca tighter to her side. 

The crew all came out of the building but the down firefighter.  They sent the RIT Team in after him after they had the fire more stable.  They called for an ambulance but almost immediately they changed and called for the coroner.  

The other girls came into the lounge when the food was ready and everyone was gone.  They sat on the other side of Bianca, rubbing her back and listening too.  Kendra took a sigh of relief when she heard her husband's voice as the one who took over. Megan was fighting back the tears in her eyes waiting with the suspense on her husband.  Someone brought Bianca some sweatpants and hoodie to change into, and as soon as she did she was right back on the couch.

A few hours later the men were back from the call. As soon as she heard the trucks starting to back up Bianca ran out to the bay barefooted and went to Eli's rack. Hoping to see him. Hoping he had just given the radio to someone else because they found the man but he wasn't there.  His gear wasn't there.  She stood there staring at it when someone came up behind her and put his helmet on the rack.  It was burnt up and bubbly looking.  Parts of the top had caved in with the shield in the front completely gone.  Seeing his helmet in this state made her knees buckle.  She fell to the ground.

Her dad came up from behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Baby girl, I'm sorry. We did everything we could for him." 

Bianca stood up and started hitting him on the chest, "How could you let him go in there!  How could you let him die! I loved him! Bailey loved him! We had plans." She gave up hitting him and put her head on his chest and whispered through tears, "Now that's all taken from me." Her father put his arms around her and looked at the growing crowd of firefighters with long faces. 

Weeks later, no lights flashing, and no sirens, the truck that would carry Eli's body slowly made its way to the church where the services were for his funeral.   It had a black wreath and black ribbons on the front and down the sides.  All the hose was taken off the truck bed, and in its place they placed carpet where the casket was going to go.  The men on board were all dressed in their top dress. They weren't looking out the window like they would for a parade.  They were looking down at their gloved hands, the hands that would be carrying the casket that held their best fire chief.

Bianca sat in the front pew of the church dressed in black, with her grandmother on one side and Bailey on the other.  Ever since Eli died Bailey hasn't talked to anyone, too much for a little 6 year-old to manage.   Losing her mother then the guy that she thought her Aunt would be with for a long time not too long after that. 

Bianca though, was different, she put her pain into her work.  She did articles about the fire service now; how they need funding and all sorts of other things.  She was dedicated so much she's starting to take classes to become an interior firefighter like Eli was.

The preacher started the service but Bailey wasn’t paying attention, She was looking at his casket.  His helmet was on top of it with Bianca's favorite flowers all around it.  The preacher then said that someone close to Eli's heart wanted to say something. Bianca watched as Bailey walked up to the preacher for him to help her onto a stool behind the podium.

"Eli saved my life a few months before he died. He stayed with my Aunt when I was sick and in the hospital.  They were together and it made me happy.  They were happy.  When I saw him that night my aunt and him went to the party, I didn't think that would be the last time I saw him."  Bailey started to cry but she kept talking, "He was like the dad I never had, even if it was for a short time." She hopped down and walked over to his casket after her speech.  She put the card she made him on top of it then she ran back to Bianca and hugged her.

Bianca held her till her Grandmother peeled Bailey off of her.  Eli’s best friend, Jace, was going up this time.

He cleared his throat and looked at the crowd, "I can say a lot about Eli.  He was my friend from high school, my partner on the line and in the house.  We've gotten drinks and girls together.  We've seen our friends die in crashes and our families hurt by fire, but every time we were there and doing our best. Except this time I wasn't, I was too drunk, already, at our reunion and he wouldn't let me go, no matter what I told him.  I'm mad at myself for getting that way.  What if he wasn't there? I would have gone in and killed more than just myself."

Jace looked at the paper he held, taking a moment, "I'm not up here to tell you my guilty conscience and all my faults from that night.  I'm actually here to tell you what he told me and gave me the night before."  He looked and spoke right at Bianca, "He loved you, a lot. He got you this ring that I have.  He was going to give it to you at the reunion. Bianca, do you want to come up here?" 

Bianca slowly made her way up to him.  She glanced at the standing only crowd before looking back at Jace. He took a deep breath holding back the tears, "I'm not going to get down on one knee like he would have but I'll read what he wrote. “'Bianca, In high school you were a freckle-faced blonde girl who I didn't really have any feelings towards.  Now you're still that freckle face blonde girl but you've changed.  You're mine and I wouldn't change that at all.  I want to make that last longer than most of my relationships have.  I love you, I love Bailey.  I want to be Bailey's Uncle/Father, that thing that you are to her but you know, the male version." some people in the audience laughed a little at this, "Marry me, please.  If something happens that you don't like, I'll change it.  If you're scared, I'll protect you.  If you want something I'll go to the ends of the earth to get it for you.  I love you Bianca."

Jace took a break to wipe his eyes then he continued, "He also gave me another letter to read to you as well.  Here goes, "Dearest Bianca, if Jace is slowly reading this to you in front of all our friends and family that means I'm gone.  I hope that by then we're married and possibly a kid of our own.  Though the way fires have been going for me as of late I don't think we'll get that far.  Keep my truck, use it yourself or keep it to give to Bailey when she gets older," there was a tiny 'yes' out in the audience from Bailey at the moment, it made everyone laugh again.  Jace shook his head laughing and continued, "Do whatever you want to keep my memory too, but please do your best to get over me.  I don't want to drag you down and make you against men again." This caused another laugh through the audience, "I love you Bianca, Eli."

Jace grabbed her hand and put the ring on her finger that Eli was going to give her.  She looked at it then looked at the group of people that gathered there before that day, she smiled sadly with tears in her eyes. "Thank-you all for coming today.  I loved him too.  So much that I let him go on that fire against my better judgment.  I didn't want to be the girlfriend that controlled him. His memory is definitely going to live on. Bailey, Jace, and I are not his only family.  Not anymore that is." She looked at Bailey then the crowd. "We had a lot of nights together while Bailey was in the hospital.  Some were sleepless and some weren't.  Eli’s memory will forever live on in the baby of his that I am carrying." 

Six years later Bianca pulled up to the graveyard for their monthly visit as a family, she parked her little car, letting it run for a little while.  She visits the grave more than once a month but she doesn't like to take the kids every time.  She looked at the ring on her finger that had no man behind it anymore.  She smiled, turning the car off, "Come on you two.  Time to see his grave." 

12-year-old Bailey got out of the front holding a bouquet of her Aunt's favorite flowers, and the same kind that were on his casket the day of the funeral.  Bianca and Bailey stood beside each other and looked at the car, then smiled at each other as 6-year-old Eli Jr hopped out and ran over to them. 

"Can I give him flowers too Momma?"

Bianca laughed while nodding, she handed him her bouquet of flowers then they walked to the top of the hill the cemetery was on.  The day of his funeral the guys didn't say anything about it being so high up, even though she expected them too.  The three of them walked up the hill little Eli holding his mother's hand.

She was surprised the day she found out she was pregnant with him.  It was a few days after his father died and before the funeral, where she announced that she was expecting.  She was sad for a while then it didn't matter after Jace read the letter to her.  She knew it would be alright.  When she found out that he was a boy, that made it all the better.  She named him Eli Jr the day he was born and he's been her little angel ever since.

When they got to the top of the hill Bianca did what she did every time she saw the stone, her breath caught in her throat.  Seeing it in stone for her made it all the more real no matter how many times she sees it.  She got her breath back when she realized that someone was standing by his headstone.

Eli made a run for him before She could grab him, "Uncle Jace!" He yelled and jumped into his arms.  Jace wrapped his arms around him and held him tight.  He had a special bond with Eli Jr, just like he had with the original.

"Hey there bud, how are you doing?  Are you being good for your momma?" Eli nodded and smiled back at Bianca. 

Bianca laughed, "Hey Jace." He put Eli down, who ran off to his father's grave, and hugged Bianca. "How have you been? How's Cara?"

The smile that spread across Jace’s face was super infectious, "She's good, still pregnant." After Eli died Jace put his life into a better direction.  He found the girl that he liked in high school and married her.  At the moment they were having their first child.

As Jace spoke Bianca watched Bailey and Eli at the grave talking to it like they always do.  "This time of the year is hard for me and Bailey."  She looked at him, "Eli just doesn't know yet."

Jace nodded his head in agreement "I know what you mean.  I've tried to tell Cara why I come here all the time when I get upset about something, or I went on a disturbing call." He shrugged, "She just doesn't get it." 

Bianca glanced at him as he talked, He was watching little Eli too, "He is a lot like his father, already.  When we're at the firehouse he tries telling everyone to come back safe." 

Jace laughed at the thought of a little one yelling at the firefighters, "Yeah, that's our Eli.” Jace stole one more hub, “I have to go.  Bring the kids by and see Cara and me before the baby comes." Bianca agreed before Jace turned to walk to his car.

Bianca finished the walk to the stone, "Alright, my turn to talk to him, you two go to the car.  Please Bailey don't let him have any of the chocolate.  That's for dessert tonight." 

Without argument Bailey took Eli's hand and walked with him to the car.  Bianca watched them go before kneeling in front of the stone.  "I miss you Eli. Our son is just like you.  He wants to be a firefighter and work on his great grandpa's farm.  Bailey still talked about the time you saved her from time to time.  She doesn't say as much about it as she used to, I guess that's because she's getting older.  I just hope she doesn't forget about you.  I know without monthly trips it'll be hard for her to but you never know.  

She paused and pulled something worn out of her pocket, the notes that Jace read to her from him at the funeral, "I read these a lot.  They remind me about you.  About the time we spent in the hospital with Bailey."  She smiled and looked at the grave. "That one time I actually stayed the night at your place, and the countless others at the farm.  I'm glad that all happened.  I just wish you didn't have to leave so soon.  I wish you could see the way our son plays, hear his laugh.  I just wish you didn't have to leave so soon.  I wish you could watch movies with him and help him with his homework.  You're missing so much.  I'm missing so much.  I know you said to move on, but it's hard.   I just don’t think I can." 

Bianca put a hand on his grave and took a deep breath.  When she did, a breeze gently blew against her skin and blew her hair to the side.  She smiled, hoping it was him, hoping that he heard everything she and the kids had said.  She got up and looked down at the grave, "I love you Eli." 

She was going down the hill when she looked back, she read the grave again for the millionth time. As she read it she felt the wind gently brush against her cheek like he did when they kissed causing a smile to form on her lips again.