Awake At The Wake

AWAKE AT THE WAKE

           Someone is touching me, why are there so many people around me. Why am I wearing an oxygen mask…and an IV. What the hell happened?

           “Hey! Somebody. I’m ok. Please get off me.”

           Why can’t they hear me? I can’t seem to move. There are so many wires on me, and I’m being loaded into an ambulance, and they are moving quickly, oh, that’s not a good sigh.

           Last thing I remember is…I was riding my bike in the city marathon, and someone being chased, ran into me, and knocked me off my bike. Oh, my head is killing me.

           Heart monitor leads are on my chest, and I hear beeping. They are talking so fast. I feel cold.

           “He’s in shock. BP is 60/20 and heartrate is 176. IV fluids are administered. ETA is two minutes. Drive faster, we’re losing him.”

           ‘Losing him.’ Who is he talking about? Not me. It can’t be me. I don’t want to die.

           “Hey dude! I don’t want to die! Help me. Do you hear me. Please help me!”

           The beeps are slowing. What’s going on? Oh, no!

           Beep…Beep…….Beeeeeppppp……

           “He’s in Vfib! Starting CPR.” The EMT is saying as the ambulance pulls up to the double doors to the emergency room. The rescue doors open with people dressed in yellow personal protective coats over their scrubs, reaching out and grabbing the gurney out of the rescue and swiftly enter trauma bay 3.

           “No pulse.”

           “Charge defibrillator to 200.”

           “Clear.”

           “No pulse.”

           “Charge to 300.”

           “Clear!”

           “Nothing.”

           “Charge to 360.”

           “Clear

           “Nothing.” The nurse says looking at the dr. with sad eyes.

           “Starting CPR.”

           “Dr. Dr. He’s gone. He was gone before he arrived. I’m sorry.”

           “T.O.D. 3:44 p.m. “The attending dr. says ripping off his gloves and throwing them on the floor and storming out of the trauma room.

********

           Uh. Now where am I? I must have fallen asleep, the last thing I remember is being in the ambulance. I must be ok, right? Why is it so quiet and dark in here…and cold, and hard…metal-like. Is that a sheet on my face? Why? Where are the doctors and nurses.

           Oh, ok. I heard someone coming in. They are pulling the sheet off my face. Ah, that’s better, at least I can see now.

           “Hey. Hey Doc, help me. What’s going on? Where am I?”

           Why is she ignoring me? She’s not even looking at me and where are my clothes?

           “Dr. Erica Robins, today is May 10, 2023, performing the autopsy of Michael Richard Thompson, thirty-three years of age. Died May 9, 2023, of head trauma from a fall off a bicycle. Cutting the Y incision…..”

           Autopsy! Me? Am I? Am I…dead? OMG! No! I can’t believe it. But I can hear everything that’s going on. I can see her touching me…poking and prodding me like I’m a pork chop. OMG, could that be why she isn’t answering me? But I can’t be dead. I’m still alive! I’m still alive!

********

Now where am I? Why do I keep fading in and out? I’m in some other room now. Why can’t anyone see that I’m still alive? I am not dead…I can’t be dead.

Here comes another guy. Now where am I? He’s spraying my eyes, nose, and mouth. Now he’s shaving my face. Hey buddy, I can shave my own face thank you…or I used to anyway.

He’s gluing my mouth, giving me a massage, and oh, I feel a strange sensation throughout my body, my… Oh, no. I know what’s happening, I must be in the mortuary. Well, I guess this is becoming a reality for me. I AM dead.

********

Hhhmm. I smell flowers and…coffee. Oh, thank God it was all just a bad dream. Oh, I’m so glad. It was just a Jacob Marley dream. It smells great downstairs. Aw, she’s so sweet to make me coffee before leaving this morning. 7 a.m. She must have gotten up early this morning. God bless her heart. I have a feeling it’s going to be a wonderful day today.

********

           What time is it? It’s dark again. I must have fallen back to sleep. Ok, why are my legs stiff. Why can’t I move? Something is wrong. I’m scared after that dream I had…it was so real. I better get her to take me to the E.R.

           I’m yelling for her. Why isn’t she answering? She’s not coming, and I don’t hear anything. Oh, no. She’s not home. No, she needs to be home. I need her. I need her now and she’s not hearing me.

           Uh, wait. I hear someone. Oh good. She’s coming. She’s pulling up the shades.

           Wait, what?

           Where am I? Who are you? HEY! What the hell is going on? This can’t be real…it was all just a dream, right?

           I can’t move and I can’t see past my eye sockets. Someone is approaching. Who is that guy and why is he in my house and wearing a suit? Where is she? I need her right now.

           Ahh, thank God. She’s here. She and mom are crying and looking down on me. Down?

           Hey, I’m here. Can’t you hear me? Help me get out of here. Please! Help me! Wait, I can see…casket? I’m in a casket? Am I? I’m not…dead? I can’t be dead. Am I having another dream?

           Oh my God! I AM DEAD! How can that be? I am in a funeral home. I don’t want to dead.

No. No. No. That can’t be. Oh my God. Am I crying? I can’t tell.

           I’m hearing chatter. There’s my brother and sister-in-law. There are my aunts and uncles. They’re all crying.

           The last thing I remember is I was in the city marathon and… Somebody!

           Boy, I can hear everything crystal clear. Everyone’s conversations, even the people way in the back of the room. I guess you get special powers when you die. I don’t want powers…I just want to be alive.

           Now, who is that girl? I don’t recognize her. Here she comes. Oh. That’s my ex-girlfriend. Ha. Why is she even here? That was from 7 or 8 years ago. I can’t believe she’s so upset. We barely dated. She was obsessive and then after three months she dumped me for some beefy guy with no IQ. She’s blonde now. She needs another dye job. Haha.

           Aw, there is my old neighbor from growing up. She was always so sweet. She used to bake us cookies all the time. Ended up having all the neighborhood kids at her house. Word got around and she would have to bake 4 dozen cookies just to feed all of us.

           Oh, crap. Are you kidding me. I can’t believe he came. He had me fired from my job. He’s as ruthless as they come. We were both up for the same promotion and I heard from the grapevine that I had a decent chance of getting it.

           Well, one day he screwed up an account and pinned it on me. Well, I didn’t get the promotion, I got fired, and the promotion went to him. Jerk-off. I was next in line for it, and I deserved it. I tried to explain to the boss, but he believed the jerk-off. Told me I was jealous.

           Now he’s here at my wake. Two-faced hypocrite. Get away from my wife jerk!

            Oh my God! Boy did she get fat! I can’t believe it’s her. Oh, no. She’s getting too close to the casket. She’s putting something in with me. No! Don’t lean on it. No, stop shaking it. I’m going to fall. You’re going to make me fall out. How embarrassing. Stop, just leave it. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

           Shew. That was close. I thought for sure I was going overboard.

           DING-A-BLING…...DING-A-BLING…...DING-A-BLING

           Oh, no. It’s over already. No. I still don’t know how I died. Was it like in the dream, someone pushed me off my bike at the marathon? Not anyone spoke of my unfortunate ending. I need to know.

           NO. Don’t go. Stop. Get away from my casket. Don’t close it. NO. Please don’t………NOOOOO!!

           Uh. Uh. What’s happening? I hear muffled voices, crying, and…. music?

           Wait.

           The casket is moving again. Voices are getting softer and farther away. This can’t be happening to me. My life cannot be over.

********

           Jolting to a sitting position, sweat pouring down my face, panting to catch my next breath, and my heart palpitating.

           Oh, my God. If that’s not the worst dream I ever had. Wow. That was intense. I need coffee.

           Heading into the kitchen, I see and smell the coffee that she made. I assume she left. She usually leaves for work before I do.

           Sitting at the table with my cup and newspaper…yes…I still read the actual newspaper. Ahhhh.

           What a beautiful day this is going to be. This is the best cup of coffee I ever had.

           My throat feels funny suddenly. It’s burning. I hope I am not getting sick. Ugh, it’s really bad now and my stomach is on fire. I’m going to throw-up, but I don’t think I’m going to make it to the bathroom. What’s happening? My body is on fire and convulsing and white liquid foaming out of my mouth.

           I look up to see her standing over me grinning. I am unable to speak and my eyesite is blurring. Why? Why would she do this to me? I treated you like gold, I thought we were happy.

OMG! There he was standing next to her looking down at me. He turned to look at her and kissed her. He kissed her! It’s that jerk-off from my old job. NOOOOOO!

           She looks at me and says, “Goodbye Charlie. See you later.”

           And those are the last words I ever heard.