Believe

“I don’t know if I can do this, Mom. Not without him. And the kids—”

“Shh. I know it will be hard, honey. The kids will get through it, and so will you.’

“I just. Why? Why him?”

“Only God can answer that question, Becca.”

***

“Andrew! Jacob! Hurry or we’ll miss Santa!”

“Coming, Mom! Come on, Jacob. Mom’s downstairs waiting.”

“Okay, Andy. Is Grandma coming with us?”

“I think so.”

“Do you know what you’re going to ask Santa for?”

“I don’t know.”

“I know ‘xactly what I’m gonna ask him for.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“I can’t tell you, Andy, or it won’t come true.”

“Whatever, Jacob. Let’s just go.”

***

“We have a long line of children out there, sir.”

“Sure do, Noel.”

“Clarence continues to send reminders that he needs you back as soon as possible.”

“Of course he does. It’s his job, but this is just as important. These children need me. So let’s get to it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And, Noel. Let’s make it real.”

“Absolutely, sir! Good morning, children! Are you all ready to meet Santa Claus?”

“Yeah!”

“Very good, and he is quite ready for each and every one of you! Now, if our first little visitor would please step forward. Santa is ready for you.”

“Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, young lady.”

“Merry Christmas, Santa.”

“And how are you today?”

“Good.”

“Have you been a good girl this year?”

“I have.”

“And what would you like for Christmas?”

“I would really love the new Taylor Swift album.”

“I will make note of that.”

“Thanks, Santa.”

“You are quite welcome. Merry Christmas, Holly.”

“An easy start to the day, sir.”

“Indeed, Noel. But I know we’ve got a few tough ones out there today.”

“Always are. My lady, it’s your turn.”

“Hi.”

“Ho, ho, ho. Happy Christmas, little girl.”

“Happy Christmas, Santa.”

“I can tell right away, you have been a very good girl this year, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And I suspect there is something special you want this Christmas.”

“How did you know?”

“Santa always knows, Julieta. But just in case, maybe you should tell me.”

“I want a heart necklace.”

“And I bet you’ll get one. Happy Christmas, Julieta.”

“Bye, Santa.”

“What a lovely little girl.”

“Indeed.”

“Alright, young man, you’re next.”

“Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, little boy.”

“Merry Christmas, Santa.”

“Tell me, have you been good this year?”

“Yes.”

“What have you done to be good?”

“I held mommy’s hand and hugged her when she was crying.”

“Is that so? Well that’s a very nice thing you did for her. And what can I bring you for Christmas?”

“A new daddy.”

“Hmm. That’s quite a tall order, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Santa.”

“Have a wonderful Christmas, Jacob.”

“You were expecting him, weren’t you?”

“I certainly was.”

“What happened to the simpler days where kids asked for a toy car or an orange?”

“Those days are long past, Noel.”

“Ready for the next little boy?”

“I am.”

“Come along, young sir. Santa will see you now.”

“Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, young man.”

“Hi.”

“You do not believe in me, do you?”

“I dunno.”

“I suspect Jacob there was your little brother.”

“Yes.”

“It’s been hard since you lost your father, hasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Your brother doesn’t understand, does he?”

“No.”

“Hmm.”

“Mom cries a lot.”

“I know. I know.”

“Jacob told?”

“In a way.”

“If you’re really Santa, could you bring him back?”

“Well, Andrew, that’s a very good question. Suppose I could. But what if I told you that by doing so, someone else would lose their father in his place?”

“You mean, someone else’s dad would die instead?”

“Yes.”

“Then no. Please don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m already expecting a Christmas without my dad. And it’s a bad feeling in my heart. I don’t want some other kid to feel like I do right now.”

“Hmm. Very well. Then what would you like for Christmas?”

“I just want my mom to be happy again.”

“You are indeed a selfless, young man, Andrew. I’ll see to it personally.”

“Thanks… Santa.”

“Merry Christmas, Andrew.”

***

“Do you think Dad misses us, Mom?”

“Oh, Andrew. Of course he does.”

“How long will it take for my heart to stop hurting?”

“It’s hard to lose someone we love, but it doesn’t hurt forever.”

“It feels like it won’t ever stop hurting.”

“I know, honey. I miss your father terribly.”

“Mom, do you think Santa is real?”

“Why, of course, Andrew. Why do you ask?”

“I just asked for. Well. Santa said. Actually never mind.”

***

“You still believe in Santa?”

“I dunno, Mateo.”

“I stopped believing in Santa last year. My older sister told me he wasn’t real.”

“Really?”

“Really. Besides, we’re eleven years old now. Preteens. Practically men. We’re too old to believe in Santa. That’s kid stuff.”

“Yeah. I should probably keep pretending for my brother though.”

“Me and my sister have to do that for my little brother too. As long as we do, we still get Santa presents.”

“That’s cool, I guess. I still get them too, but I don’t think my mom knows yet that I don’t believe in Santa Claus anymore.”

***

“Okay, you two. NORAD shows Santa will be flying over our neighborhood soon. Time for bed. You don’t want Santa to skip our house because you didn’t go to sleep, do you?”

“No! Come on, Andy! Hurry.”

“Do you really think Santa will come, Mom?”

“Of course, Andrew. He’s come every year. Now off to bed.”

“Yes, Mom. Come on, Jacob.”

“Goodnight, my little lightning bugs.”

“Did you ask for toys, Andy?”

“No, Jacob.”

“Did you ask for candy?”

“No.”

“Did you ask for video games?”

“No, Jacob!”

“What did you ask for?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? I asked for a new daddy. Why did you ask for nothing, Andy?”

“I didn’t.”

“But you just said—”

“I just want Dad back!”

“Mommy said Santa can’t do that.”

“Just… get in bed, Jacob.”

“Okay. Merry Christmas, Andy.”

“Good night, Jacob.”

***

“Did you both like your presents?”

“I loved them, Mommy.”

“You’re so sweet, Jacob.”

“They were fine. I guess.”

“Andrew…”

“I’m gonna go to my room and get dressed.”

“There’s a red car out front, Mommy. Someone is walking up the sidewalk.”

“Thank you, Jacob. Andrew, wait right here and look after your brother while I get the door.”

“Ok, Mom. Santa didn’t bring what you asked for, Jacob.”

“Christmas isn’t over yet, Andy.”

“Stop calling me Andy.”

“But that’s what—why is Mommy covering her mouth and crying?”

“Dad?”

“My boys!”

“Dad!”

“Daddy!”

“Andy. Jacob. I’ve missed you and your wonderful monkey hugs. Merry Christmas!”

“I don’t understand, Josh. How?”

“It was Santa, Mommy!”

“You know what, Jacob. I believe you may be right on that account.”

“Did you see him, Daddy? Did you see Santa?”

“I did. He stopped by to visit me and other soldiers in the military hospital. I’ve been told he visits the sick and wounded at random hospitals every year just before Christmas.”

“Wow! Can you believe it, Andy? Daddy met Santa Claus!”

“Seriously, Josh. This is, I don’t know, beyond a miracle. How in God’s name are you here? What happened?”

“I was listed as killed in action but had actually been taken hostage. It’s been a difficult few months but two days ago, me and several other guys from my regiment were rescued. I honestly don’t know how they found us. We were in a cave system deep in the mountains. I’m just glad I made it home in time for Christmas. I can’t imagine what you’ve all been through.”

“I truly don’t think you can. And your mom. Does she even know yet?”

“No. I needed to see you and the boys first.”

“So, you weren’t ever dead, Dad?”

“No, Andy.”

“Good.”

“Good? Is that all I get?”

“Good, and... and I’m so glad you’re back, and no one else was hurt, and I love you, Dad. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Andy.”

***

“See, Clarence. My brief detour did not delay the deliveries this year, and we made a family whole again.”

“Right as always, Kris.”

“Here’s that cup of hot cocoa for you, sir.”

“Ah. Excellent. Thank you, Noel. By the way, your assistance with the mall visit was outstanding.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Make note of that, Clarence.”

“I already have, Kris.”

“And enough of that sir business, Noel. Call me Kris or Santa.”

“Just trying to make a good impression my first week on the job, sir, er, Santa.”

“Another successful year in the books, gentle elves.”

***

“Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Santa.”

“It’s been another year, hasn’t it, Andrew?”

“Yes, Santa.”

“I’m happy you’ve come back to see me.”

“You remembered me?”

“Of course. Are you surprised?”

“A little.”

“So, tell me, what is it you want for Christmas this year?”

“Nothing. I got everything I wanted last year. I just wanted to tell you that, and to say thank you. ”

“You’re very welcome, Andrew.”

“Merry Christmas, Santa.”

“Merry Christmas, Andrew.”