Wet Bandits

Harry stiffly pulled on his thick grey gloves over his wrinkled hands. He opened the driver's side door of a stolen truck and clambered in. On his opposite side, Marv climbed into the passenger seat. They rumbled out of the abandoned driveway, and down the street towards Lincoln Boulevard.

"Look at all the lights, Harry!" Marv exclaimed. He peered through the plumber's truck grimy window, his eyes sparkling at the sight of chromatic Christmas lights illuminating the streets. Harry rolled his eyes. Marv may irritate Harry, but he is as loyal as a dog. Plus, he needed a helping hand to deal with the houses.

"Yeah, and just think of all the goodies inside we will get," Harry replied. Harry smiled, his gold tooth gleaming in the rainbow light.

Only extremely wealthy people lived on Lincoln Blvd. The large houses loomed overhead. Vacant.

Marv and Harry had had a rough time money-wise. Marv grew up poor; his family couldn't find work. Harry wasted his money during college, and eventually fell broke. They resorted to robbing, even though it wasn't the best work.

And all the residents on Lincoln Blvd. were on Christmas Vacation.

Twenty houses, up for the grabs. Begging to be robbed. Shiny things, worth lots of money, were inside the empty houses. It was like a Christmas Miracle for Harry and Marv.

"Almost all the people here have left. Which leaves the perfect opportunity for us. Let's come back later, say ten, once it's dark," Harry announced.

They drove off into the daylight and made plans to come back later that night, to their first stop on a long road of adventures. The house they planned to "visit" was 391 Lincoln Blvd. The usually boisterous house was now silent and dim.

Harry remembered disguising himself as a local police officer, secretly scouting the houses. He continued to hit the remaining houses, disguised, acting as a concerned man, checking the security of the residences.

Later that evening, after the sky had faded into midnight, pitch-black scene, Harry and Marv drove back down the lane. They approached their first, empty house, and rolled into the long, sloping driveway. They pulled on warm gloves, buttoned-up their winter jackets, and slipped on woolen hats. Harry turned towards the trunk of the vehicle, grabbing a crowbar and three large bags.

Harry and Marv turned to each other and smirked. "Let's go get our money," Harry said, smiling mischievously.

Marv took the crowbar in hand and opened the gleaming, transparent window near the backside entrance. They crawled in through the opening, greeted by a fresh, finely decorated pine Christmas tree. Decadently wrapped presents lay underneath it in a surrounding circle. They flicked on a switch, and a bright, dazzling chandelier lit up the room. Clean carpet lined the staircase. Dirt left over from the two friends' shoes coated the marble floor.

They immediately began to grab valuable objects, stuffing them into small bags. Toys, lights, music albums, and decorations lining white shelves were all seized by the criminals. Harry looked to the stairs, then went up into the master bedroom. In a back closet, hundreds of dollars were stacked in an openly hidden box. Harry grinned and clucked his tongue, then took the money. In a jewelry box resting on a dresser, fancy jewels filled the case to the brim. Sapphire rings and rose stone necklaces sparkled in the room's lantern light. Harry scooped up the box, then dumped it into his ever-growing pouch of valuables.

Downstairs, Marv scoured the dining hall. A shimmering chandelier hung above a fancy, dark oak table. He carefully reached up towards it, then plucked tiny, reflective jewels off the light. He placed them in his bag, now partially filled with crystal gems.

Marv made his way into the grand kitchen. He stole utensils, plates, and a few boxes of food. As Marv turned to scavenge another room, the gleaming sink and a bold idea caught his attention. He walked over to it, then turned both handles of the sink. Water began to stream out of the faucet, filling up the sink bowl. The water rose with each passing second. Marv turned, leaving the water to flood the room.

After they had taken all they wanted, Harry and Marv exited through the pried open window. They rushed toward their escape car, then tossed the loot into the back seat. They plopped into the driver's and passenger's seat, then sped off. One house checked off on a long list of possible robberies.

Marv chuckled as they sped around the block, as if he had done something unbelievably funny.

"What did you do this time?" Harry grumbled. Marv had a habit of leaving ridiculous marks at each spot they lifted.

"I left the faucet running. We're the wet bandits!" Marv laughed.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't do that. Ever again. That's stupid. What were you thinking?"

"But when they come home, they will know who trashed their house. But they won't know our real identities. We will make newspaper headlines!" Marv's eyes glinted gleefully. "We will be famous."

"Yeah well, let's just get through the next few weeks. We only have a little more time until families start returning," Harry retorted. He rubbed his head, then continued to focus on the road.

Over the next few nights, the Wet Bandits, Harry still resented the name, had acquired four more houses' belongings. Since every family in the neighboorhood had left, there was a lower chance of them being spotted. They continued to collect precious jewelry, stashes of money, and anything else that caught their eye. But Marv, much to Harry's chagrin, continued to leave the mark of the Wet Bandits.

Soon, Harry and Marv began to plot out their escape from Chicago. They figured the money from their thefts after the holidays would leave them with an opportunity. The two planned to head for the City. The Big Apple. New York City. Christmas actually worked out for them this year. Until they reached 671 Lincoln Blvd. The McCallister's home.