Give me liberty!

My right hand raised in a tight fist, I shouted, “Give me liberty or give me death!”

The sun was still shining. The sky was still blue. The birds were still singing their sweet songs. My dad’s lip quivered as he tried not to smile. But my mom’s hands were on her hips. 

“Young lady, you get inside and sweep! Right now!”

“...unless…” my dad started, “You can tell us who originally said that quote.”

I knew this. My fourth grade teacher had just explained Patrick Henry in school. He said it in 1775, just before 1776 when our Constitution was signed. Patrick Henry wanted a call for action. He would rather have died than live without freedom from the British. 

Just as I would have rather died than...sweep? Okay, maybe I was taking things to the extreme here. But I couldn’t back down now. 

“She doesn’t know,” my sister scoffed. I didn’t even notice she had strolled out onto the grass behind me. The backyard suddenly seemed colder. The sun less sunny. “She doesn’t even know which end of the broom to use to sweep. I took care of the sweeping for you, mom. Anything else you want done before I head over to Sydney’s?”

“Thanks kiddo! I can always count on you to get things done,” mom said. “Be back by five when the grandparents are coming.”

“Sure thing. And, by the way, Patrick Henry said the quote,” my sister said. As if I didn’t already know.

***

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you knew,” she said.

But her face said differently. Her face told me that she knew perfectly well that I wasn’t at the meeting table when the decision was made. Her body language told me that she knew I was not invited to the conversation being held about my student. She tipped her chin higher and her crossed arms; she spread her feet wide. Her eyes stared just a few seconds too long into mine before flickering away to the side. Her words did not convey the message that she knew she was wrong. A major decision had been made about one of my children and she purposefully did not even think to ask for me to be included. 

“So, what can you tell me about her?” she asks. 

Now she is asking. She sat in the meeting that decided the fate of this child. My child. And she didn’t know anything about this child. She didn’t speak up at the meeting to say she didn’t know the child. She didn’t suggest that maybe I should be called into the meeting to speak on behalf of the child. But now, in private, she is asking me. She wants to look smart. She wants me to look like the weak link. I am stronger than this. I can be the better person. I will not let her walk all over me. This is for the sake of the child; not for my ego.

Marissa knows all of her short vowel sounds. She knows her digraphs th, ch, sh, and -ck. She knows to look at the vowel, say the vowel sound, and then read the cvc word. She is just starting to read two or three word phrases. She will need a heads up before her turn; so just let her know that you will be calling on her after two more students. She needs loads of praise and encouragement. She will be successful if you are kind and speak softly. Take care of Marissa. 

All of these words I say. Because I know that my colleague is not sorry.

I feel my dad giving me a half hug and ruffling my hair.

***

I am slumped against the door frame. My legs have lost the strength the hold me up straight. I feel my heart beating erratically inside my chest. My lungs have forgotten how to draw in a breath. My ears are deceiving me. This man who I just told that I love and have always loved has told me that he has never. He told me that I am nothing. I am less than nothing. I am no one. He told me I am nothing.

I need to feel my dad give me a half hug and ruffle my hair.

***

Listen up. Listen very closely to what I am about to tell you.

YOU are in charge of YOU. As Christopher Robin once told Winnie the Pooh: "Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." You have this posted on your wall at school; you have this hanging on your refrigerator at home. Is there any reason you cannot seem to think this does not apply to YOU? It’s not just there for decoration. It’s not just there for your students. It’s not just there for your daughters. It’s there for all of you to read and absorb and believe. It’s true. Look at all you have accomplished. Do not, listen, do not look back at the

obstacles

roadblocks

hardships

lows. 

Concentrate on the positives!

Start little:

You learned how to tie your shoelaces in time to graduate from Kindergarten. Do you remember sitting on the stairs and how proud you felt when you finally did it yourself?

You learned how to ride a two wheeler bicycle. Those training wheels were just getting in your way anyway and were so lopsided that they weren’t really helping you...your dad was so smart!

Reading was so hard for you. Sister Simon put you in the Orange Folder group. No one wanted to be in the Orange Folder group. You earned so many stars to get out of the Orange Folder group that mom bought you the Laura Ingalls Little House on the Prairie boxed set for Christmas.

You are a high school graduate. Your parents loved and supported you. Your parents believed in the value of an education. You were fed regular meals and we sat together at the table to eat; we remained in one home. Your parents loved you, helped you with homework, read to you, had conversations with you, and had expectations for success. 

You didn’t each have your own personal phone. You had one landline that had a cord. It was in the kitchen, so all of our conversations were public. Your parents didn’t have to worry about posts or snaps or chats or cyber space.

In your lifetime there have been moon landings, Sesame Street was born! How you loved the letter of the day and when Cookie Monster would eat his cookies! You so wanted to meet Cookie Monster and giggle with him and share his cookies. 

You own a home, you own a car. You have raised three beautiful, wise, competent children. They are on their own paths to success. You have modeled strength and wisdom. You have not run away from adversity. You have strength, knowledge, power, and support. Most of all, you have faith and you have love. you’ve got this. Focus on the positive and your strengths.

***

And I can feel my dad pulling me into a half hug to ruffle my hair.