February 9

Writer's note: This is a collaboration work with Johana Htwe. You can check out her stories at: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/johana-htwe/

I hope you enjoy reading.

The sudden chill of the freezing floor crept inside me as I carefully stepped in, my body squeezed between the slightly opened door. A familiar odour tingled my nose as I turned back and gently locked the door. Even with the darkness dominating the whole house, I was familiar with which way to go. As I took a step further, powerful rays of light penetrated through the still air, momentarily leaving patches of blindness. My blurred vision found my mom standing at the foot of the staircase. A stern look hovered her face as she furrowed her eyebrows, her lips tightly pressed in a thin line. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” she thundered.

“My room,” I answered nonchalantly.

“Where were you?”

“Nowhere” I replied as I intentionally bumped her shoulder and went to my room. As expected, a strong pair of hands roughly grabbed my arm.

“I won’t repeat it, Anna. Where did you go?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, she could be too controlling sometimes, which was the main reason she and I never got on terms. I wish dad was here.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me. Tell me the truth, Anna. NOW!”

I abruptly pulled my arm out of her tight grip and yelled,

“You don’t even care what’s going on in my life or where I am after school! Why do you care where I went?”

She clenched her jaw and said angrily,

“You’re grounded, Anna. You will not use your phone nor go out with your friends this weekend. And this is the last time I am warning you. If I ever see you sneak out, I will have to send you to a boarding school.” she threatened and turned her back, thumping her feet loudly on the wooden floor. 

Well, guess what, Mom? This would be the last time you would ever catch me sneaking because I would make sure of it.

***

 “So Anna, tonight at midnight, right?” my friend, Rose asks me, sitting on her desk opposite to mine. 

“Yes, don’t let my mother see you, She is smarter than she appears to be,” I warn as I scribble meaningless words in my notebook. That’s true. My mother should auction as an actress, she will knock out everyone when it comes to pretending. One minute, she pretends that she knows nothing, then the next, she corners me with every single detail, leaving me no room to make fake excuses. So, it is likely that if I get caught now, my worst nightmares would possibly come true. She was pretty much serious about boarding school. 

“Hey, Don’t worry about anything. We will sneak out in the shadows, your mother will never find out about it. Trust me, we will be really careful.” Rose tries her best to comfort me. This time I intentionally chose February 9, the day my father’s bones got shovelled into the deep roots of the earth while I just stood in a corner, dressed in ceremonial black clothing, my eyes swelled up with overflowing tears. A depressed feeling starts to form in the shallow void of my stomach but I shake it off. I know I have to be brave. 

That night, the cold breeze finds me lying on my bed, staring listlessly out of the window, my eyes desperately scanning for Rose’s car while my mom believes that I am still asleep. 

At exactly 12 p.m, Rose's black car swerves at the corner of our neighbourhood. I instantly get up and puff some pillows on my bed, followed by a layer of blanket for the bluffing. Slowly, I open the door and grab the keys, secretly patting myself for efficient work. No threats of suspicion yet. 

“Whoa, finally! Halfway through. Thank you so much Rose” I thank her as I enter the car.

"Hurry, Anna. I think I saw someone." Rose whispers. I roll my eyes at her, this morning she was the one telling me not to worry, now she is the worried one. Perfect!

"Don't worry, it might be a ghost who’s gonna eat you up," I replied facetiously.

"Shut up! I don't want your mom to call my parents. This time they might just end up taking my licence.”

While we drive silently, my thoughts weave the threads of the faint memories with my father. My father, I wish he was here. At least, he would not put stupid restrictions like my mother. If he were here, I know he would love me more than she does. We used to play together, drawing different shapes onto the carpet. Every night, he would read me the beautiful stories of the world yet to unravel. He always did what I asked him to do, never failed to buy me what I wanted, never failed to support me when I was down. After he was gone, it was like a part of me was gone with him, leaving only a soulless body with no directions. 

"We're almost here Anna," Rose snaps me out of the reverie., A sudden warmth burns across my cheeks, only then do I realize a single tear slip from my eye.

As our destination draws near, an indescribable emotion swirls inside of me. As if sensing the uneasiness, Rose says

"He is waiting for you. I am sure of it. Tell him everything. Let those burning feelings wash out. Don't miss even a single moment of your life, not even me. Okay?" Rose smiles at me. 

I take a deep breath and step out. My heart swells up as I analyse the numerous spread marbles. Who says coffins are made of steel or wood? These embedded marbles are in fact made from the countless tears of the loved ones and the scattered thoughts of the unacceptance towards the sudden events. I glance at Rose. She nods as if reading my thoughts and cues me to move on. 

I carefully walk across the faintly discernible path, trying my best to control the evoking emotions. I was seven when mom and dad divorced. I was taken under the care of my mom. No one ever gave me a choice! My mom is an austere woman, a famous senior lawyer working in the top firm of Manhattan. As they say 'don’t get too excited, money can give you birth and at times, eat you up.' And so happened with my mom. She became too proud of her successes and began to believe in her superiority. She thinks she can never lose a case, and if she does, she is too adamant to accept it. 

My father was an accountant. An excellent accountant. He was the polar opposite of my mom; never arrogant, always polite with others. I was so proud of him. I still remember that day. I came home from school, dancing with excitement. I had won a silver medal in a basketball tournament. When I told Dad, he took me in his arms and showered me with kisses and encouraging words. But my mom, she just shoved me off, taunting me for achieving the second position instead of first, constantly reminding me of how worthless I was. 

That night, I cried my heart out in my room. Dad sat beside me the whole night, trying to console me while my mom slept like a baby. I've never liked her. Each time, she would blame my achievements for not being good enough and keep on cursing me until I got too broken to mend. The divorce made the situation worse. 

The freezing air of midnight made every hair of my body prickle up. My gaze shot up as distant sobs hit my ears. I assume it to be some night visitor like me, still stuck in a phase of moving on. Not wanting to bother the other person, I silently and cautiously approach where my father's body lies peacefully. The sobs grow louder as I walk further. There, in front of my father's tomb, a dark figure sits, whose body is uncontrollably shaking from continuous crying. I try to figure out who it might be but no luck. I squint my eyes from the farther corner as I slowly pace forward. Each passing minute the outline parted from the darkness, and at last….…I gasped.

"No, this can’t be true....how can she.....no” The warm air from the soundless whispers, seemed to unknowingly deepen the tangles in my mind. She is still there, unaware of my presence. I stand still like a statue and stare at the unbelievable figurine. Suddenly, she stands up. "Oh, shit!" I can't let myself be seen. Momentarily hiding behind one of the tombs, I try to convince myself, but I know, it is not a dream. Taking the darkness as a guide, I quickly return to Rose who is closing her eyes and reciting some prayers. I forgot that Rose is scared of Ghosts. I shouldn't have left her alone. I abruptly open her car's door which scares the shit out of her, luckily I cover her mouth before she could scream. I don't let her calm down and tell her to drive fast, back to home. 

"Will you tell me what is going on?" Rose asks. I give her no response. I can’t. My stomach keeps on somersaulting while my mind tries to puke and get rid of what I saw. I should’ve never gone there.

"Anna?" she looks at me, then looks back at the road, "Anna, I am asking you!"

"Rose, will you please stay silent for a while,"I snap at her.

No one says a word then as we drive our way on the silent road.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I am just…... not feeling well. Please, try to understand. I will explain everything later. I promise," I apologize with pleading eyes.

"I understand. Just call me, whenever you feel better. Sleep well, Anna,' then she drives off.

I open the main door quietly, it is unlocked. No blinding lights, no furious expressions, the house slept in the pit of silence. I go upstairs and stand in front of my mom's room, then place a light knock on the door.

"Mom, are you there?" I whisper. No response.

"Mom?" I try again, no response.

Layering up my courage, I slightly push the door open and scan the inside. She is sleeping. A sigh of relief advances through my spine. But why is she not replying then? I walk forward and sit beside her. Maybe I can just give an excuse, that I can’t sleep. I place my hand on the blanketed shoulder, but what my hands meet is melted bones. A shocked expression hovers my face. I abruptly pull the blanket. They are cushions. 

So, I am not dreaming. She was really there. But what was she doing in front of the coffin of a man whom she despises so much? Why was she crying so much? How? But… why?

I wake up the next day, yawning and stretching my arms above as nothing happened, but then the waves of reality crash into me. I go downstairs where my mom is sitting at the dining table, smiling at me. I look at her carefully, taking in her face and her every movement. 

"What's wrong?" she asks calmly. Like I mentioned, she masters at pretending.

"What's wrong, Anna? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asks with a chortle, looking straight into my eyes. 

I'm used to her way of forcing someone to answer her questions honestly and all these years with her have taught me enough to use the same trick on her. This time, it is me who is cornering her with questions and details leaving her with no excuses.

"I went to your room last night," I ask her with a stern look, trying my best to overlap the submerging feelings. Her calm expression changes to shock but she quickly covers it up.

"You were not there. Where were you last night?” I further inquired her scared expressions, adding up the fuel.

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk" she lies so perfectly.

"Are you saying you couldn't sleep so you took a stroll around the embedded coffins?"

She gasps "Anna, I……," suddenly she gets furious and says sternly, "I warned you not to go there. But you never listen. You really want to go to a boarding school, huh?"

"Don't change the subject! Why were you there last night? Why were you crying in front of his tomb??" I yell as I stand up.

"That's enough, Anna. Go to your room. Now!"

"Don't push me away," tears start to flow down my cheeks, "Why? Answer me! What are you hiding? I will go away if you want me to but please. Answer me!." I say, my voice suddenly taking the shape of a pleading sob.

She looks at me, I can't read her emotions. She stays silent, so I continue with my hoarse voice,

" I know you love him, but then why? Why do you act so tough? Why did you guys even divorce? And why did you never let me meet him? You keep on telling me he had a car accident. But I know, it is not true. Tell me, mom, what happened? You can’t keep on whiting out the truth.” I say adamantly. For the first time, I am so confident in front of my mom. I want to go on, but my mom’s soft expression stops me. I am hurting her. 

A tear slips down from her eyes. She rarely cries. She softly places her palm on my shoulder and tells me to sit down.

“Yes. You’re right Anna. You deserve to know the truth.” She says softly. 

I look up at her. Her cheeks are now wet from the overflowing tears. Suddenly, I feel that maybe I am not ready to take the truth. Some truths are better left unknown. Is this one of those truths? Before I can say something, she continues. 

“Your father” She smiles “Your father is the most loving person I've ever come across. Always full of life. I still miss him, he loved celebrating little things. But……. It took only one night to change it all. Only one night to uproot all the happiness in my life."

She stares at the wall as her memory is written on it and, "That night, I came home late from work and found Harry sleeping soundly beside an empty space. I smiled and crawled beside him, inviting a deep sleep on my way." She frowns as if she is feeling the pain from the past, "A sudden throb on my back woke me up from my dreams. With a jerk, I opened my eyes and growled in pain. Above me stood a man with dangerous eyes, blood-stuck clothes and a piece of shattered glass in his hand, ready to take my life any moment. I managed to linger away to my neighbours before the bewildered man could do any harm. The next day, your Dad was back to normal, unable to remember what he did last night. We both knew it was bad news," she pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath.

“He went insane when I told him how he tried to kill me. It turned out he had a mental disorder that unknowingly lured him to kill the ones nearby. You were so young when this happened, Anna. We couldn’t risk your life. I never wanted to part you from your dad, but after a lot of overwhelming instances, Harry convinced me to. We both divorced, and he started to live a separate life under specialised supervision for treatment."

She looks at me apologizing and lightly squeezes my hand. "I am sorry, Anna, your father was a great man, but one day, his disability blinded him completely and he..” Her voice quivered “He suicided.” 

The burning sun rays found both of us heavily sobbing in each other’s arms. And yes, my mom was perfect in pretending, but she did that so I would never feel depressed about my father’s disability. She took the blame on herself so that my father’s soul rests with no black patches. And I love her so much.