Strawberry Flavored White Chocolate

The birds sing along with the ringing of the 8 AM alarm clock. A groggy man sweeps back the messy black mop that sits on top of his head. He inches himself to the end of the bed. Sighing as put the alarm clock back to sleep.

The man peered over at the black vanity table in the corner of the room. He carefully rose from the bed, making his way over to it. With every step, his smile grew. He ran his fingers along the desk as his eyes danced with every item resting in their place. He stopped when he heard a little, ping!

His wedding ring thumped against a perfume bottle. He quickly moved it back into its rightful place. With a relieved sigh, he left the room, walking into the bathroom to get ready. There were three toothbrushes. One green, blue, and a little purple one. He grabbed the blue one, dabbing on a bit of toothpaste. As he brushed his teeth, he used the water to slick back his hair. He rinsed his mouth, splashing water onto his face.

He wandered down the hall, lightly knocking on a purple door. He walked in, sitting next to a sleeping child.

"Eva, it's time to get ready. Come on baby, wake up." He softly patted her back.

"Mmm!" She whined, stretching her arms out.

"You better hurry. We don't want to keep mommy waiting, do we?" He stood up, crossing his arms.

"Mommy?!" She jumped up.

"Are we going to see her today?" Her face lit with joy.

"Yes. It's February 14th, so you know what that means."

"It's Valentine's Day!" She jumped around in her bed.

"Yes. So come on. Get up, brush your teeth and meet me in the kitchen. We have to start early if you want to make mommy some chocolate." He clapped his hands as he left the room.

In the kitchen, he moved swiftly throughout the cabinets. Pulling out bowls, measuring cups, and spoons. He filled a small bowl with fruity cereal and milk while filling a pot with only about two cups of water. 

"Eva!" He dumped the cacao powder into a metal mixing bowl he placed on top of the pot.

"I'm here. I'm here" She ran in, still wearing her pajamas.

"Your breakfast is on the table." He pointed from the stove.

"What kind of chocolate are we making this time?" Eva stuffed her face.

"We are making your mom's favorite. White chocolate." He displayed a few ingredients on the counter.

The little girl scarfed down the rest of her food, making her round cheeks plump up. She grabbed the whisk and pushed her stool over to the stove.

"I'm weady." She gave him a thumbs-up, still chewing. 

He chuckled at the sight. Loving how much she resembled her mother. He smiled to himself, helping Eva stand on a stool to mix the cacao powder.

"Daddy?" 

"Yes." He cautiously watched her.

"Do you think mommy will like the chocolate?" She stirred it until it was completely melted.

"Of course, she will. Why wouldn't she?" He sifted in the powdered sugar as Eva kept stirring.

"I don't know." She shrugged, looking a bit discouraged.

"Eva, honey what's wrong?" He added in the milk powder.

"It's not fair. Mommy talks to you, but she doesn't talk to me anymore. I never know if she likes what I make." She pouted.

"Hey, look at me." He bent down to her, gripping her shoulders.

"Your mom loves you more than anything. It's just that being as far as she is, it can get hard to contact her. But as long as you keep her in your heart and give her lots of love she'll be able to feel it. Okay?"

"Okay." She nodded, smiling widely.

"Now, what flavor should our chocolate be this time?" He pulled out a rack of extracts.

"Hm. Let's do strawberry. Mommy loved that one the most."

"Yes, she did." He playfully pinched her cheeks.

"Daddy! Stop it." She giggled.

He poured in a teaspoon of the extract, adding a pinch of salt. He carefully picked the bowl up with a cloth. Pouring the chocolate into mini heart molds on a tray. 

"Okay, so that gives us a good few hours to get ready." He gathered the dirtied dishes.

"Can I wear a dress?"

"Anything you choose is fine."

"Yes!" She hurried off to her room.

"And make sure you brush your hair! You look like you got electrocuted." He shouted down the hall.

He took his time cleaning up. Making sure to put everything back where it belonged. He headed back to the bedroom. Going to the closet to choose the outfit he put together last month. He unhooked the hanger and laid the clothes on the bed, running a lint roller over the suit and the white button-up shirt. The dark blue suit looked best on him and he wanted to look his best for the one he loves. She bought it for him, stating she wanted him to not look like a beggar who snuck into a nice restaurant with her.

Every month they had a date night where they can go to a fancy restaurant and not worry about the cost.

He stared at himself in the mirror, examining the suit on his body. His fingers trailed along the fabric, filling him with a deep yearning. He missed the days she forced him to wear this suit. 

"Wait till you see me now. Babe, I still got it." He took a deep breath, slipping on his dress shoes.

"Daddy?"

"Y-yeah honey. What is it?" He walked out to the hall?

Eva stood there in a purple dress with white flowers, holding her black dress shoes.

"Can you help me? I can't buckle them."

"Let's go to the living room." He shook his head, laughing to himself.

Eva sat on the couch. He knelt on the rug taking her foot in one hand and the shoe in the other.

"You look absolutely beautiful. Just like your mother." He latched on her shoes.

"It's the dress I got with mommy." She proudly stood, spinning around.

"I'm going to pack up the bag. While I'm doing that please go brush your hair." 

"I did." She pouted.

"Well, do it again and make it look nice. Maybe wear a headband." He walked over to the kitchen.

"Fine." She grunted.

He pulled the tray of chocolates from the fridge. He carefully popped each one out, placing them in a long red container. He packed it into a lunch box with an ice pack, a couple of waters, a few juice pouches, and another container filled with grapes.

"Eva, you ready?" He grabbed the keys.

"Coming." She ran out with her backpack.

"Why do you have that?"

"I want to show mommy how I'm doing in school and I also drew her a picture." She strapped on the bag.

"That's fine, but we really have to go now. Come on, outside." He locked up and they quickly made their way to the car.

He let Eva choose the music, knowing his mind would be on other things. He took the shortest route, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts for too long.

He pulled into the parking lot, just staring at the entrance.

"I'm happy that we are going to see her. I miss mommy. I wish we could see her more often."

"I know, I miss her too. But you know, your mom is always with you. No matter where you go, she will follow." He unbuckled his seatbelt, turning to face Eva.

"She is?"

"Of course she is. Because your mom's name is Daeva and if you take away the D and the A you get Eva. So no matter what happens or where she goes, you will always be a part of her. And she will always be with you." He softly smiled at her, remembering the day his daughter was born.

He stepped out of the car, grabbing the sheet that was in the passenger seat and opened the door for Eva.

"Let's go see mommy." He offered her his hand.

She smiled and gripped his hand tightly. They didn't say it, but they were both nervous about coming to see her today. Eva noticed how sad her dad would look after each visit. She hated to see him like that. And for him, it was getting harder to explain things to Eva. Things he couldn't accept.

They entered the gate. Passing groups of crying people, making Eva squeeze onto her father. 

"There she is." He pointed her out.

"Mommy." She tugged her dad along.

He placed the sheet on the ground. He took out the grapes and the chocolate. Eva bounced with excitement. He used a washcloth to wipe down the marble displayed in front of them. Pushing aside the dirt and dead leaves.

"Do you want to give mommy some chocolates?" He opened the red container.

"Yes." She grabbed a handful, carefully sitting each one in front of the marble.

Her father took a second, raking his eyes over the name engraved on the marble stone.

Daeva Johnson.

"Hey, babe. Happy Valentines Day." Tears welt up in his eyes. 

"I'm wearing that damn suit you love so much." He laughed them away, trying to remain still.

"And I'm wearing that dress we got together. Isn't it pretty? Daddy says I look beautiful like you." She spun around.

"Oh and look these are my grades. They're pretty good, right? I do all my homework and try to always listen to daddy, but sometimes I give him a hard time. He says I have too much attitude for a seven-year-old." She giggled.

"You do." He chuckled with her.

"We made you your favorite white chocolate and it's strawberry flavored. So I know you'll love it." She dug around in her backpack.

"I made a picture of me for you, so you won't forget me. Because I know that you're far away right now and when someone is gone for too long you forget them." She folded the paper, tucking it into the dirt by the tombstone.

"I can't hear you anymore like I used to. But daddy says you're always with me. Still, I really miss you. I wish you could come back home again. It would make daddy h-happy too." She sniffled, biting her lip to quiet her sobs.

"It's okay to cry. Go on." He held her close.

Patting her back as tears fell down his face. He peered up to the sky. It was clear of clouds and still blue as ever. 

Daeva, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do without you.

It's too hard without you.

A warm breeze flew past them. It was as though a warmth came in and surrounded the two. Like a pair of comforting arms draped over them. Letting them know she is indeed always with them line the air that fills their lungs.

Unseen but always felt.