A Flame in the Breeze

 The night in the port of Vable was humid and warm. The city was adorned with the light of stars high in the sky and the glow of lanterns swaying in the occasional breeze. Couples, young and old, were out on the shore, enjoying the perfect summer night together. For a few hours in time, everything was perfect. The lights, the night, the stars…

   For a person with a life as long as Neveah's, these few hours were a rarity. So much so that she couldn’t help but look out the windows of the inn with longing. She knew that if she asked Cronan, he would accept to accompany her in an instant, but for some reason, she couldn’t work the nerve to do so. And that was ridiculous since Cronan was her best friend. Maybe it was the way Cronan writhed nervously every time he laid eyes on her today or maybe it was the glint of excitement accompanied by the fear that shone in his eyes. It was just that today… Cronan no longer looked like the boy Neveah had grown up with.

   Luckily for her, Cronan noticed her drifting gaze and the small awed smile she wore as she looked outside and finally asked her for a walk along the shore. Neveah couldn’t help but smile wide at the chance as she flitted around her room, wearing her usual black and grey outfit before running out to catch up with him.

   They walked all the way to the beach where lanterns dangled from the poles and swayed in the breeze and waves crashed against the shore. Neveah closed her eyes with a content smile and opened her hands wide, smelling the cooling scent of the breeze and the thrashing sea with her whole being. “Isn’t it just

wonderful? Being near the sea all the time… perhaps even living on a ship for the rest of your life!”

   When Neveah opened her eyes again, she saw Cronan's gaze focused on her, a fond look shining in his eyes. Before Neveah could ask him about it, Cronan turned his gaze to the sea and smiled softly. “Yes. It must be nice to always wake up with the sound of waves, always knowing that you can come to the shore anytime you want it.”

   Neveah stared at Cronan for a moment, a frown of confusion creasing her brows. “You’re being weird tonight.”

   Cronan turned his gaze back to hers again and stared at her with a weird look for a few minutes. Finally, he let out a sigh and muttered, “There are a few things that I have to tell you.”

   Minutes passed with silence, Neveah shuffling on her feet in impatience. Finally, she couldn't contain herself any longer as she huffed in annoyance and said, “Well? Don’t keep me waiting all night!”

   Cronan gave her another look, another one of those weird ones, and replied in a low tone, “I don’t know where to begin.”

   “Maybe with the one that’s easier to say?”

   “Unfortunately, both of them are hard to say.”

   “Well,” she said, “Just choose one randomly."

   Cronan sent her a look of devastation as if trying to urge her not to make things harder for him than they already were and wrung his hands together. Neveah held his gaze, trying her best to convey feelings of comfort to him. After a few seconds, Cronan let out a sigh and held out a hand to her with a weak smile. “Maybe we can take a walk while I gather my thoughts?”

   Neveah nodded to him after a second of contemplation and took his hand in hers, walking leisurely to a less crowded part of the shore. The cool sea breeze made the free tresses of her hair fly around, occasionally obscuring her vision of the sea. Neveah sent a sidelong glance at Cronan and when she still saw him deep in thought, she eyed the sea again.

   Finally, when they had walked a good distance away to the place where the lanterns were fewer and the couples less seen, Cronan stopped, his gaze stubbornly trained forward. “I’m leaving in an hour to begin a search for my parents.”

   Neveah's hand that was held firmly in Cronan's went slack as she stared at him with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open in disbelief. Perhaps it was the shock of the news or perhaps it was the sheer impossibility of the said news, but the first thing that escaped her mouth was, “But your mother is in a star—quite literally might I add—and your father is a star.”

   “Not anymore,” he answered with a shake of his head. “They have both escaped and are currently here. They have been for a long time. Perhaps ever since we were little and left Lagrima.”

   Neveah frowned and shook her head with disbelief. “It’s not possible. We would have remembered if they were there!”

   Cronan let out another sigh and sent her a sideways glance. “Who knows? Maybe they really were there but we forgot about it for whatever reason we forgot many other little things. I mean, it's easy to forget memories from your childhood when it takes ten years just to turn one year older. Neveah, we didn’t even remember each other from Lagrima until we were told about it. I wouldn't be surprised if my own parents were there and I didn't remember them.”

   “So you’re only going on a who-knows-how-long quest in an hour all based on a vague possibility?”

   “It’s not just a vague possibility,” muttered Cronan, staring at the sand beneath their feet as if they held great interest. “I… attended the last Night of Shittar.”

   Neveah let out a gasp and completely let go of his hand in favor of crossing her arms across her chest. “So that’s where you disappeared to?” she exclaimed with a glare at him “Cronan, you should know better than this! We are supporters of the Black! Hell, we are Black. We don’t ever attend the Night of Shittar. To us, it’s cursed!”

   “You can’t truly believe that anymore, Neveah,” he said, giving her a knowing look. “We now hunt the Black instead of worshipping it blindly like we used to.”

   “That still doesn’t justify your attending the celebrations! I thought you said that you hated Shittar!”

   “No matter how much I hate her, she still holds the key to my past," he said with a sigh. "And might I remind you,” he said in a sarcastic tone “that she's my very own grandmother?”

   “And your father is the embodiment of the Dark Star, so what?” said Neveah, an eyebrow raised as she waited for his answer.

   “Exactly,” he said flippantly “which is even more reason why I attended the celebrations. In fact, I should have done it much earlier. And if you're wondering why, it's because when I looked up at Galire's star, where Shittar and my mother should have been, I only saw Shittar there. And then, I got a very private note from you-know-who that heavily hinted that my father is here in this forsaken world.”

   “But… you can’t trust her… can you?” said Neveah with a frown, her voice gaining a desperate edge.

   “She has helped us realize our past before, Nevy. If she says that she has seen my father walking around, I'm inclined to believe her. You know she never says anything without being completely sure of it.” Cronan offered Neveah an encouraging smile and got a hold of her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

   “So you’re just going to… leave? In an hour? And you just thought to tell me about it now?” Neveah bit her lip in an attempt to stop herself from begging him like a pathetic little girl and squeezed the hand she held with hers.

   "You have to understand that it was a very hard decision for me. I've been thinking and thinking and thinking about it for weeks. Then, the captain mentioned that her crew would be traveling to the old ruins of Lagrima and I realized that if anything, I owe it to my parents to at the very least search for them." Cronan gave Neveah's hand a squeeze back and locked his gaze with hers. “It’ll be alright,” he said gently, a smile blooming on his face.

   “I’ll come with you,” announced Neveah, a frown of determination marring her face. "I won't take long. Just enough to gather my things and put my bag—"

   Cronan looked at her with another smile and only shook his head patiently. “No, you’re not. And we both know it too. We started a mission together and we are not going to end it like this. I'll go looking for my parents, no matter if they’re dead or not, and you'll continue our search for the rest of the Black.”

   “But… I can’t do it without you,” Neveah choked out, her eyes already damp with tears. She hated this. Hated the dampening of her eyes almost as much as the feeling of helplessness she was feeling. But she knew that he was right. He always was. If they had a chance at fighting the Black—those demonic dense shadows that were creeping up everywhere—it lay with Cronan’s parents. If they truly were alive, that would help them greatly. At this point, any small amount of information was vital.

   In answer to Neveah’s desperate attempt, Cronan squeezed her hand again, giving her another reassuring smile. “We’re not just the Black anymore, Nevy,” he said “we have found the light in our darkness. That light will always connect us, no matter where we end up.”

   Neveah smiled a watery smile and whispered, “Just like the night. Not just the darkness but the stars too. We’re the Night.”

   “And we will always be, until the last breath we draw.”

   She didn’t attempt to answer back or do anything. They just both stared at the sea as it crashed against the shore again and again. Neveah diverted her gaze to the nearest lantern that was swinging from the pole it was hanged from and watched as the breeze attempted to put off the small flame inside with no success. A few times, it seemed as if the force of the breeze might actually win but the flame always flared back to life when it seemed the least possible.

   She supposed that Cronan and she were exactly like that flame. Winds and storms mightier than the breeze that blew in her face had tried to pry the two of them apart but they had always found each other. They just couldn’t afford to let the other go. Not when in the harsh world, they were the only ones who understood each other. The only ones who knew the burdens and the pains that came with being the only one with a forbidden power. Even if the mightiest storm tried to push them apart, they would still find one another again. Neveah would make sure that they did.

   “There’s something else I wanted to tell you,” said Cronan, that weird look from before entering his gaze again.

   Neveah let out a chuckle that seemed forced even to her own ears and said, “Should I be scared?”

   Cronan gave her a smile of sadness and answered, “Maybe.” For a few long minutes, he did nothing except shuffling on the sand uncomfortably before he raised his eyes to hers and said with a firm voice, “I love you. Not like a friend to another or a brother to a sister. I’m genuinely in love with you. I have been for years now.

   "I know… I know that it’s too late now. I know that I’m a big coward for only confessing when I'm going away for an undetermined amount of time but I just wanted you to know about this. I don’t know what you'd do with this piece of information. Whether you'd forget the words the next hour or by some miracle you return those feelings. But I only wanted you to know, so that one day when I’m far away and we can’t see each other face to face, it may bring you some solace knowing that no matter where I am or how much time passes I will always love you.”

   Minutes passed in a heavy silence as Cronan watched her go through the shock of the revelation. Finally, she gathered her bearings enough to croak out, “Is there any other life-changing news that you haven’t revealed yet?”

   At that, the tension that had settled between them broke and Cronan let out a chuckle. He gave her hand another squeeze and said, “Sorry to disappoint, but that’s it for tonight.”

   Neveah forced herself to smile, even though it vanished almost as quickly as it was formed. A few seconds were passed in silence again before she all but seized Cronan's arm with both hands, a sob escaping her. “You’re an asshole, did you know that? An asshole and a coward and the worst friend I've ever had. Even though you’re the only friend I have. I mean, what kind of friend goes on and falls in love with their best friend?”

   “Well,” he said, a teasing smile forming on his lips, “certainly the kind of best friends in those romance books you're so fond of!”

   She gave him a scowl and muttered, “I always knew that you read them behind my back.”

   He let out a chuckle before he smiled another kind smile and laid a hand on Neveah’s where it was still clinging to his arm. “You never said anything… do you have any feelings for me? Romantically, I mean, so don’t try to be sassy.”

   Neveah gave him another scowl before she forced her gaze away from him and back to the swaying lantern she had been watching earlier. She had to think and sort her thoughts and feelings before she gave a definite answer. Somehow, she had always known that her best friend had been secretly in love with her. She had known unconsciously but she had been reluctant to admit it to herself. More so, she had been hesitant to let herself see if she could love him back. But that was the big question: Did she actually love him back?

   After a few minutes of thought, during which Cronan stayed completely silent, Neveah finally spoke, “I don’t know.” Then, in a rush to clarify her meaning, she added, “I just… never thought of it. How… how am I supposed to know? I have only ever had one friend and one person who loves me and they turn out to be the same people. Is love the feeling you get when you’re close to your friends? Or is it something special and explosive like in the books? I just… I don’t know…”

   Cronan didn’t say anything for a while. Finally, he nodded his head, a small smile forming on his lips. “I guess I knew you’d say this,” he said, “after all, it’s not always the same as the stories where the hero suddenly realizes their hidden love for their best friend.”

   “That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. Or can’t fall in love with you anymore,” she said in a low tone as she gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

   Cronan nodded and replied, “Exactly. Maybe I'm just clinging to a futile hope, but perhaps me being away will give you the time and space to think of your feelings.”

   Neveah had nothing to say but a quiet, “Maybe.”

   They fell silent again as they watched the shore. The beach was silent now, the couples leaving the secluded areas to get to the more crowded ones or to simply walk back home. In this part of the shore, the two of them were alone, as they always had been.

   “You’ll wait for me, won't you?” said Cronan suddenly, breaking the silence as he sent a look of distress at Neveah. As if she would say anything other than yes.

   Neveah let out a chuckle, happy for a moment despite everything that was just revealed to her. “Of course, idiot. I'll always wait for you, whether it’s as a lover, a friend, or a sister. I'll always be waiting for you.”

   “That,” he said with a relieved chuckle, “is all I'll ever need.”

   Neveah met Cronan's eyes with her own and gave him a dazzling smile. Her friend through highs and lows, the only family she had ever known… he was going away, but that didn’t mean that she would be lonely. As long as Cronan had her back, she never would be. And she knew that he always would. No matter where they ended up.

   Cronan stepped away, Neveah's hands falling from his arm as he did. They didn't say goodbye. Only one last look to each other before he faded into the dark night. Neveah didn’t cry beside the single tear that ran down her face and then that was it. Cronan was gone and it was only Neveah standing on the shore.

   The waves still crashed to the shore fervently, spraying water everywhere. The breeze still blew, albeit gentler, and swayed the hanging lanterns back and forth. Neveah looked at them and smiled. She knew that tomorrow, the sadness would hit her in full force, but tonight, she looked at the flame that still burned inside the lantern and smiled. She would wait for Cronan, even if it took years for them to find each other again. Their flame wouldn’t go out any time soon.