Father-Daughter Walks

Crunch, crunch, crunch

Loose gravel crunching under the weight of her father’s feet was her favorite sound during their daily walks. Her little hand enwrapped in his large, calloused and tanned one wiggled free as she jumped and stomped, trying to emulate that specific crunching noise. She was just too little at that moment to even come close to creating such a cool noise!

As decades past and time warped their bodies and minds into older beings, that crunch, crunch, crunch never left her.

Daily walks through the neighborhood turned into yearly walks on the beach, to seldom walks with the younger woman’s new puppy, to that momentous walk down the aisle.

Crunch, crunch, crunch

“So how have you been? How is Adam and his business going?” Scott asked his daughter, Tilly. Her little dog, Red, running back and forth on the leash.

“He’s awesome! His business is booming, he actually was just asked to become the premier electrician for this huge company! He’s going to on-board as a contractor and go from there.” Tilly exclaimed, beaming about her husband and his growing company.

“That’s great! How is your job? Still liking it?” Scott knew his daughter wasn’t fulfilled with her current job, but he asked anyways.

“It’s not bad! It’s good money and it’s close to home. My boss is nicer than she used to be, and my co-worker and I get along great!” She added a few extra details to try to show that she really doesn’t mind her job…for now.

“Oh good, oh good,” Scott glances down at her little dog and smiles, remembering when she brought him home.

Her mother was so angry! She had good reason, though. Tilly was only 22 and a little bit of a mess, drinking too much and jumping from job to job. But man, did she love that puppy with everything she had. Her parents saw how great and caring she was with Red, they immediately felt at ease. That was 7 years ago.

Crunch, crunch, crunch

“Yeah! So how are you? How is everybody? How have you been feeling?” Tilly pats her dad on the back as they walk up the hill. She notices that he’s been slowing down and his breathing becoming labored.

“Same ol, same ol.” He replies with his usual answer. “You know, working too much and not relaxing enough. We’re excited to head to the beach this year, it’ll be a good time.”

“Me too! Adam and I will be there!” Tilly exclaims, her thoughts floating back to earlier family beach trips.

Tilly knew that her dad would wake up at ungodly hours and take walks down the beach. He would always come in from those sunrise strolls with stories of dolphins and found seashells. She wanted to be a part of these. Tilly would set her alarm just to partake.

“Oh wow, you’re up early!” Scott would notice.

“Yeah!” Tilly would say, rubbing the tired out of her eyes, eager to see sea animals and collect sharks teeth.

Stepping out in those early morning hours, the cool sand felt like a welcome reprieve from the scorching temperature of the ground from the afternoon before. Squishing the sand between their bare toes, taking in the haziness of the hour, they would start off. Stopping every once in a while to examine a lone starfish or a washed-up jellyfish, they would soak up the sunrise. Tangerine, grapefruit, and lemon hues lit up the sky as if someone poured a pitcher of fruit sherbet over the world. It was spectacular.

Crunch, crunch, crunch

“You know, T, there’s a reason I asked you to come to visit this weekend.” Scott clears his throat, not sure how to say what comes next. “I have a box of clothes I would like to give you and Adam. Some stuff of mine, some of your mothers, some of your baby clothes. You know, just hand-me-downs. I figured you guys could get more use out of them than we could.”

“Oh! That’s fine, we can always get them another time. No rush.” Tilly obviously had not noticed her dad’s reaction to this proposal.

“Till,” he looks at her, tears prickling his blue eyes, “please take them this trip. We want you to have them.”

“Dad, what’s going on?” Tilly stops, mid-step, still confused.

“We’re getting old, and you and Adam are so busy. Which is a good thing!” Scott interjects his own thought. “Stay busy! Do not make your lives smaller for us. Do the big things, take the trips and make the moves. We just want to be sure to give you some important things this time, you know just in case.” He clears his throat again, trying to hold back tears.

Tilly grabs her dad’s hand and squeezes. Trying to make light, as always, she laughs “Come on, let’s be real you and mom are going to outlive all of us. I mean look at you! You guys don’t look a day over 40.”

Red tugs on the leash, trying to move forward. Tilly and Scott stand in silence for a minute, taking in the blooming trees and blossoming flowers, realizing that as the earth is coming alive again, how close they are to the end of something else.

This realization barrels through her like a bolt of lightning. As if a hand reached in and squeezed Tilly’s heart, her chest heaves, and her eyes sting. Her stomach aches and her limbs go weak.

He taught her how to fish with a Snoopy fishing rod, how to appreciate great music and how to cook a perfect salmon on the stovetop.

He was the most important person in her life. Her walking buddy. Her father.

Red yips, tugging harder now trying to go back to the house.

Shaking off the heartbreaking thought, Scott and Tilly take off toward the house again.

“So, Mom said you got suspenders?” Tilly, laughing, trying to change the subject.

Scott burst out in one of his famous belly-laughs and begins to explain why suspenders are better than belts.

Crunch, crunch, crunch