Somehow, Sunrise

Somehow, the Sunrise

The ground beneath me was cold and damp, lit only by the flickering glow of a lone lamp and the silver shimmer of the moon. In the distance, my friends giggled as they took turns launching off the rope swing into the lake, their joy echoing through the trees. I sat from a distance, torn between joining them and staying rooted in my emotions.

For the past year, Lyme disease had taken its toll as my body became a stranger to me. But tonight was different - tonight, I faced my fear of the woods and it was the first time in three years that my legs truly felt like mine again. I could walk, run, jump, and for once I wasn’t defined by my disease. I could do anything anyone else could. It was pure joy and normalcy, a feeling I hoped would last forever.

The dark quickly consumed us, the woods making a mere 9:00pm appear much darker. The trees creaked and swayed, the cold sending a shiver down my spine. Suddenly, Hunter’s face appeared in front of mine with a smirk, “Thought we were leaving our worries at home?”

I smiled at my best friend since the freshman year of high school, “Yeah, yeah, we are. Those are tomorrow's problems.”

Hunter plopped down on the ground next to me with a groan, his eyes on the lake where our friends laughed. “You’re only going to have one senior year camping trip. The worries and issues are still going to be there tomorrow.”

“Yo, let’s go! Volleyball game!” Tyler, one of the guys among the five-person friend group, loudly announced as he sprinted towards the net. Hunter patted my leg and gave me a quick smile before quickly jogging off.

Joining them for the volleyball game, after three rounds, I found myself exhausted and my limbs sore from running around. It was definitely fun watching my friends have silly arguments as I learned how competitive they are two minutes into the game. After winning the third game, Hunter picked me up from my waist and spun me around before we all made our way to the tree-stump benches.

Kylie clapped her hands once, practically bouncing with excitement. “Alright! Does anyone know how to start a fire?”

I chuckled and stood up, brushing off my hands. “Yeah, I got it,” I said, already scanning the area for sticks.

“Oh my god, you were definitely a Girl Scout!” Kylie squealed in excitement as if she had discovered a new species.

I giggled, placing the sticks into the pile and pulling out the lighter from my back pocket, “I heard cookies, I joined.”

After lighting the fire, I sat back down next to Hunter as Taylor leaned back into Ashton. Taylor and Ashton have been dating since their freshman year, and they’ve always displayed what a couple should be like. Honesty, I was always envious of their kind of love. “Truth or dare, Kylie?” Taylor asked, making us chuckle.

Ashton rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “Really? We’re graduating high school, not middle school.”

“Shush,” Taylor nudged him with a sweet smile, “There are definitely things we don’t know about each other. Why not share?” Kylie chose dare, and Taylor took a minute to contemplate before answering, “I dare you to chew on a stick until it’s your turn again.”

Kylie groaned, and we all laughed as she picked the large stick up and proudly bit down. “Sage,” she mumbled my name with the stick in her mouth, “truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Kylie contemplated her answer for a second, “What’s something you feel you haven’t told anyone?”

I inhaled slowly, the air heavy with pine and smoke. Hunter’s arm slid around my shoulders, pulling me gently against him.“Feeling invaluable hurts worse than feeling invisible. I feel that every day.”

Everyone suddenly went silent for a moment; the only sounds heard were the popping and cackling of the fire, followed by the sway of the trees. Hunter tilted my chin up with his hand, forcing me to look into his eyes, “You’re never insignificant here. I can promise you that much.”

Kylie clapped her hands, “Aw, stop! That was so cute!”

Taylor gave her a playful shove, “Girl! You just ruined the moment!”

I giggled before Kylie let out a pained sigh, and her expression sobered, “I get that feeling, though. My parents are getting divorced and separating my brother and me.”

“Wait, what?” Taylor’s face tensed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I found out last week and needed time to process. I guess I was still in denial.”

Taylor immediately wrapped her in a tight hug and rubbed her back in comfort, “I’m so sorry, Ky.”

Hunter’s glassy eyes met mine as he exhaled, “My mom has cancer, stage four," he paused after forcing the words out of his mouth, “Since we’re all trauma bonding, might as well get that out there.”

The confession caught me off guard, and I couldn’t help but give him the tightest hug I could manage. His arms folded around me, and he buried his face in my shoulder, trying to hide the tears streaking down his cheeks.

“No shame man,” Ashton stated looking at the ground, “we all got our shit.” Ashton abruptly stood up and made his way towards the overgrown grass where he lay down and placed his arms behind his head.

Hunter let out a teary-eyed smile and stood up, grabbing my hand and tugging me towards Ashton. We all lay down on the dewy grass, sitting in comforting silence. Kylie was on one side of me, Hunter on the other. Ashton and Taylor cuddled close beside him. Knowing we had each other was enough as the stars held our attention. The friends you could sit in silence with are special. There was no need to force conversation or the pressure to always be happy - you could just exist with them.

Ashton sighed as he held Taylor close to his body, “No matter our stories or struggles, at the end of the day, we all see the same stars.”

Kylie let out a hum in agreement, “Weird to think about.”

“A little,” I responded, adding in my input, “but comforting in a way. We all got our shit, but at the end of the day we’re all connected within the sky.”

Hunter tugged my body closer to him and put his arm around me so my head lay on his chest. We’ve never been this close before, but it just felt right. Butterflies filled my stomach, and in this moment, I realized I had begun to look at him differently. He wasn’t just my guy-best friend; he was my person. The person I could rely on, trust, and without a doubt, feel completely safe with. Slowly, the stars disappeared from my vision, and my eyes drifted into a deep slumber.

A gentle shake awoke me from my deep sleep, and I found myself alone on the ground with a smiling Hunter above me. “Come on,” he grabbed my hand and pulled me up as I let out a loud groan. The cold clung to my skin as the sun was just starting to rise, casting a soft amber glow through the trees.

Without question, I took his hand and followed him deeper into the woods. He suddenly stopped, shining his flashlight on a small patch of earth.

Sunflowers.

Two of them stood tall amidst the forest floor.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Hunter crouched down and took a deep exhale, “One day, my mom drove me to this forest. We searched for the entire day, and she never told me what we were looking for. At the end of the day, she said we were looking for a sunflower. The odds of finding one in a forest were less than 1%. When I asked her why we were looking, she told me that when I found one, I would know.”

Staring at the two sunflowers on the ground, I took a deep breath and whispered, “Do you know?”

Hunter turned his head, looked into my eyes, and gave me a sad smile, “Sometimes in the darkest of places, something beautiful still grows. The chances of beating the odds may be weak, but never impossible.”

Sitting down next to him, I placed my head on his shoulder. We sat in comforting silence, staring at the odds of the sunflowers in the forest as the sky became filled with soft pinks, or oranges, and a glowing yellow.

We watched as all the colors slowly mixed together, lighting up the sky and gently pushing away the night. The sun began shining its light rays through the tree, and everything looked softer in that light, even the cold ground.

Somehow, even though nothing in my life had changed, the sunrise made it feel like maybe it could.