Corrugate

It’s cold outside today. In the corner of Jenny’s bedroom, a single strand of spider web dressed in grey dust hovers, caught momentarily by a wild, invisible draft. Jenny lies supine on her bed. Her mouth is dry, eyes stagnant glassy orbs, with her body relaxed yet holding a thin tension she isn’t quite aware of. Her mind is on other things. She says aloud 

“Well I would love to- I would like to, like to yeah but I don’t think- I can’t, I can’t afford it right now. I would need to- would need to cut back a bit.” 

She rolls over to face the window, dirty white wooden blinds blocking her view of the backyard. She continues, 

“But it could- would be so much fun. Maybe I- I don’t need lemonade for a few weeks. That’s uh just- I’m I’m sorry.” 

Stretching a hand from beneath her body, she pushes one of the blinds up to peer through the window. 

“That’s weird- sorry just- yea. I know. Yea.” She sighs. 

“That should be enough. No lemonade or ice cream.”

By this time it’s already dark. Jenny is alert in her bed, her back curved forward with eyes engaged on the 16-inch monitor near the foot of her bed. She’s wanted to see this movie for a while. Clutching a pillow to her chest, she watches a woman not too far from her own age bound down her New York apartment’s stairwell, swapping the nameplate on her small mailbox from the previous tenants to her own. The credits begin to roll, accompanied by a sharp, upbeat pop song. Mouth half-open, Jenny moves her hands from the pillow to the sides of her head, shoving her tangled hair up between her fingers.

“Oh my god” she says. “Oh my god oh my GOD. Damn.”

The time is 12:41. Jenny lies prone on her bed, asleep, with a small trail of droll forming a wet circle on the yellow pillowcase beneath her head. She hasn’t been able to remember her dreams for a while. But tonight, if she could, she would see thick clumps of snow cascading wildly around a row of streetlamps. She would lie herself down in the white velvet, feeling light, the snow accepting her and molding itself to fit the acute frame of her shape. With fingers searching she would press her palm against the brilliant white cradle holding her, finding the perfect resistance, a hundred million snowflakes returning and pulsing with low, rhythmic, steady and warm pulse. It matches her own heart. She smiles; she wakes up. She doesn’t know why.

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