TIM

I watch little Aimee crawl around the house, giggling and playing with her toys, cutest moment ever. That has always been my joy and am quite sure it is the joy of every mother to watch her child play around the house. The sweetest part is giving the baby a bath and dressing in matching outfits. That, in my opinion, is the greatest joy of being a mother. Every time I look at my daughter, I wonder where her dad is. I wonder if he knows about her or me or cares about us. I wonder how he is fairing on with his new girl; I hope he is doing well.

I am always wandering in my thoughts until someone snaps me out of it. This time, it is my sister, telling me I have a guest who insists on seeing me and does not want to leave; he even fought with the security guard. If there is one thing that I hate, it is someone who disrespects my employees. I believe we are all the same, equal before our creator. No matter the skin color or economic status, whenever cut, we will all produce the same color of blood. Therefore, no one should ever look down on the other. Anyways, when we die, we will all go under the ground; no one will be buried in the sky.

I want to go and make this rude guest apologize for insulting my employee, but my heart begins to beat fast. I feel dark energy, a threat in my house, I need to ensure Aimee is safe before seeing this rude guest. I ask my sister, Maryam, to go with Aimee to the nursery and not to leave until I tell her to. I put on my buibui and niqab and go to receive my rude guest. I, however, fail to understand why my legs are failing me, why I feel weak and drowsy, perhaps it was the fast I had done the previous day, but still, I am weak.

My rude guest is at the front door, the back facing the main door. The back looks familiar, and I do not think I can mistake that back anywhere. Those well-defined shoulders, always straight, never sagging. And that masculine body, always wearing tight clothes to show off the biceps and muscles. This man was so much in love with his body that he always wanted to be young. He never wanted to grow old. Everyone fears aging. Even I do fear aging sometimes. I am afraid I will lose my glowing, radiant skin and have old dry sagging skin, but it is a change we all have to undergo, whether we like it or not.

I think the scariest part of aging for every woman is being a mother for the first time. When I realized I was expectant with Aimee that was the scariest moment in my life. I was afraid I was not old enough to be a mom. At twenty-two, it is a bit scary. I was even worried to tell my then-boyfriend that I was expectant. And the moment I told him the news, I regretted it. Being raised by my aunt was not easy. However, I always felt like part of her family. Even when I decided to move to my late parents’ house, she insisted I move in with her youngest daughter, so that I would not feel lonely.

Moving into the house reminded me of how beautiful life was, before the airplane crash. At sixteen years, I had an estate to manage, and my aunt had always been in charge of it until when I got pregnant, and I had to wear my big girl pants. Giving birth was even scarier; I was afraid the baby would die, she looked so tiny, so fragile. Even when Aimee came to this world, I was scared of raising her the wrong way. I still am scared that I may raise her the wrong way, but I try my best to raise her in the most right Islam way possible. I made a mistake and disobeyed my creator, but He gave me a second chance to set everything right.

Just a minute ago, I was thinking of this man, and he is right here in front of me. I am scared to see him, and I do not know what to do. I want to run inside and hide with my daughter, but it would not be the most stupid thing to do. We cannot live our lives, running away from our fears. We need to take the bull by the horn and face it. ‘I do not take it kindly when someone insults my employees, for I never insult them,’ I say. He turns around, and those sexy eyes make my knees go weak. I melt inside, I want to let down my walls and fall into that warm embrace, but I can’t.

‘I heard you are a mother,’ he begins, winking at me. I still stare at him, not saying a word. ‘Did the cat cut your tongue, boss lady?’

‘I do not know who you are, neither do I know what you are talking about, I would take my leave if I were you, for the corps are on their way,’ I say. ‘And remember to apologize to my security’ I finish, and turn to leave. He grabs my arm, and that is when I grew wild. ‘Let go, you monster! Leave me alone!’ I shout. I am tied to a chair, and he is forcing me to take a drink; he is going to kill my baby and me. ‘Please let me go, Tim. I promise you will never see me around. I will go to a faraway country. Please, let me go, I beg you,’ I am in tears.  My child and I are about to die.

‘I am too young to be called a dad. I do not want to be old; I want to be forever young. If I let you go, you will find a way to ensure you and this creature inside you do not die, so be a good girl and drink,’ he says, his eyes look like that of a snake, such a cold and heartless soul. He never managed to make me drink the portion, and that is why he is here today, to finish his work, I bet. But the police have arrived, they will take care of him, Aimee and I will be safe.